Remember that scene in Knocked Up where Katherine Heigl finds
all the parenting books that Seth Rogen bought still in the Barnes &
Noble bag? I think that's fairly typical. What to Expect When You're Expecting
sat on my nightstand unopened for months, moonlighting as the world's
most well-researched coaster. And most of the books targeted to new
dads have an overtly syrupy tone, with book jackets featuring misty
mornings on a lake or sepia-toned photos that wouldn't be out of place
in the 'Thinking of You' section at Hallmark. Sure, it helps to know
what a mucus plug is, but mostly guys need books that offers simple,
streamlined, practical info that doesn't get bogged down with a lot of
"medical diagrams" or "compound sentences."
Well have I got the book for you, Pops. Anyone out there looking for a fun, helpful read to give a new dad should check out Rules for my Unborn Son.
It's written by Walker Lamond, a man whose penchant for Paul Stuart
blazers, horn-rimmed glasses and vintage ties make me wonder if he was
grown in the same Petri dish as Ira Glass. A TV producer and filmmaker
by trade, Lamond started a blog by the name same - rulesformyunbornson.tumblr.com
- upon hearing that he and wife were having a baby. It grew into a
collection of short quotes, tips, and advice items - none longer than a
dozen words - that's now in paperback, serving as "the ultimate
instruction manual for becoming a gentleman." Even with 212 pages
filedl, nary one of these quips sounds tired or cliche. Here are just a
few selections:
* Don't underestimate your fertility.
* Be beholden to no one. Pay cash.
* Have a signature dish, even if it's your only one.
* Don't boast about projects in progress. Celebrate their completion.
* If you've made your point, stop talking.
Rules for My Unborn Son gets four and half beans from
The Daily Bean. And remember: Keep a copy of your letters. It makes it easier on your biographer.