View Full Version : A little TMI but curious
08-11-2009, 05:00 PM
So I am 17 weeks pregnant and sex for me feels completely uncomfortable in any position. I believe sex is important to the intimacy my husband and I have toward each other and don't want this to become a problem, it's bad enough that when the baby is born there is atleast 6 -8 weeks minimum that sex is not even an option. I was wondering if anyone else had this "problem".
08-11-2009, 09:24 PM
I personally didn't have that problem but I just wasn't into sex at all. Keep in mind that there are other ways to be intimate with your husband. For instance: cuddling, making out, oral, showers together (until you get to big of course), even just holding hands can be intimate. I would also suggest that when you do have sex to be in positions where you are in control (on top is generally the best for this). That way you can control the speed and depth which may be more comfortable for you. Hopefully as your pregnancy progresses sex will become more comfortable for you. Hope this helps.
08-12-2009, 12:09 AM
just to throw this in here...my doc gave me the go ahead to work and be intimate at my 2 week check up....now at 4 wks we still havent done anything but Im going back to work on sunday, My doc told me that based on how good my pregnancy went I could return to normal life.
08-12-2009, 12:44 PM
I'm 18 weeks and I know what your going through. I find him behind me the most comfortable. And the one I like but you can't be flat back to stomach is on your sides. Like your husband and you on your side and he enters that way, but you kind have to bend on the waist and not be flat against him it gets really uncomfy but it looks kind of like doggy style laying on your sides and it works great. Being on top I find really tiring since we have extra weight now and a larger chest.
I hope this helps.
08-13-2009, 02:06 PM
I just realized I never answered you. I agree with Airforce...from behind was the most comfortable. But missionary wasnt that uncomfortable to me, I guess it all depends on how big your belly is. And hardworkinmama is correct too...there are other things you can do.
08-15-2009, 03:53 PM
Thanks everyone for the great advice. The concensus I get from some of my girlfriends who have kids is that him from behind was the most comfortable for them as well. You are absolutely correct Hardworkinmama, intimacy can be other things besides sex and I have to keep that in mind. And Caressatiger, 2 weeks huh, that's encouraging hopefully I'll be that lucky.
08-15-2009, 08:34 PM
I agree that would the best way. BUT since we are under TMI..
I am nearing the end (35 wks) and I feel so much pressure down there, like its swollen. I cant see anything so I have no idea. The thought is terrifying. But I would like to try especially since I want to see if I can kickstart labor on a certain day. Even from behind seems hard since I am HUGE-I mean really huge, like its a 9-10lber (they are sure). So even doggie like I would have to hold a pillow against me i am so big. Never mind the out of breathe, out of energy, and daily 3 contractions. Has anyone successfully done the deed at this stage-w/o it being soooo difficult???
WAY TMI- if from behind-i am so afraid of being a little gassy in that position..also a little afraid of peeing HAHAHA but truly I feel I am losing control down there, hahahaha OK that is way TMI but I really am afraid..
08-17-2009, 05:14 AM
wright1212: honestly I did it during my other pregnancy up until the week before, but mostly for my husband's sake. I was HUGE too! It didn't do anything for getting the contractions going and I never had an orgasm. Behind wasn't the bad, but I would suggest laying on her side with a pillow under you and doing it that way. You can lift your top leg in different positions to get more or less of your husband...! About peeing and what have you...well things are moist, so I'm not sure hubby would notice! He'll just be grateful for the lovin! Or should be anyway! Just tell him to go fast because if you are anything like me it will be an okay experience, but there won't be any fireworks for you! Good luck!
08-17-2009, 12:19 PM
Unfortunately for my last pregnancy and this current one sex has not been something I had really wanted to do. Come to find out I was experiencing a bit of an allergic reaction to my husband that was causing swelling and discomfort during sex. We finally found that if we use KY liquid (yes it has to be brand and it has to be the liquid not a jelly or gel) that the effects are far less severe and we can do it more frequently. Also our doctor told us to avoid condoms (we were anyway) because they can dry the area out and cause new reactions to latex. Just something to consider
08-18-2009, 08:09 PM
Zack that was a good point. We found some liquid at a speciality store, its way way better than KY. Studies have shown KY has some sugar in it and that can lead to yeast infections. This other brand has no sugar. I cant remember the name but its small and brown and black bottle. I have lots of sensitivity due to allergies down there and this stuff is great.
08-23-2009, 08:16 PM
I'm now 37 weeks and my husband and I have been having sex throughout my pregnancy, I guess on average once a week but sometimes more. I noticed a marked increase in my sex drive for the most part, but there were times when I just didn't feel comfortable during, but it kinda just depended on the day. Sometimes it felt too deep, but mostly if I was already feeling especially bloated. Try different positions for sure! Sometimes his angle makes all the difference. I favor the sideways approach with one leg over his b/c it gives me a lot of control. Also, other stuff is a lot of fun to explore right now!
08-24-2009, 12:04 PM
the other thing is that thongs change may not be an issue next week - or take it slow, change positions and see if it helps. good luck
08-26-2009, 10:54 AM
Wow, I guess I am just really lucky because I never had a problem being intimate while I was pregnant with both of my boys. It definitely got more difficult as I got bigger and one thing my husband would do was to be on his knees while I was laying on my back. It was definitely more difficult for him but I found it was easiest. One other thing we did was for him to stand while I laid on the bed with my hips right on the edge of the bed and my legs hanging off. He would usually hold my legs up to make it easier for me.
08-31-2009, 12:25 PM
I am 38 weeks pregnant. Between 24 and 36 weeks pregnant all I wanted to do was have sex. It was to the point where my husband was saying "no". Now sex is extremely uncomfortable and I never want to be intimate. Of course now he says that he wishes he never would have said no before. lol. Every woman is different. Just listen to your body and be open with your significant other. Everything will fall into place. Keep trying positions until you feel your best because a bad position will make everything worse.
08-31-2009, 05:01 PM
Well it's been a few weeks now and I got my husband to admit he is afraid of hurting the baby and it weirds him out a little. So it turns out it wasn't just me uncomfortable. I tried to explain the whole thing to him but of course he wont listen. We shall see what happens. Wish me luck.
09-02-2009, 09:29 AM
hi - i'm still in my first trimester (between 7 1/2-8 1/2 weeks) and it scares me to have sex with my boyfriend. we tried last night and i was extremely tense and nervous because it felt like too much pressure in my lower abdomen, i'm assuming because my uterus is slowly starting to grow. this is my first time being pregnant and having been a pregnancy options counselor for over a year i know all the things that can go wrong. so i'm not sure if my discomfort was psychosomatic or if it was real. any advice? my boyfriend, thankfully, was understanding and tried to assure me that i was fine, and i'm hoping he was right.
09-10-2009, 04:43 PM
I don't think I read this in any other reply so here is another piece of advice from a mom of a near 6 yr. old and a almost 2 mo. old! Sex is wonderful and of course your significant other can't seem to live without it but he also needs to be mindful of your needs, wants, desires, (or lack thereof) and should be able to handle not having that type of intimacy for a while. Yes, the options of showing intimacy are endless!! Use your imagination! Ask your s.o. to give you a massage. Go for a walk together. Go on a date. Just don't be afraid to talk to him about how you are feeling. You are after all giving him the greatest gift!!
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