What do you think? Need suggestions.

[twnz4me]

Hi. I have twin boys who are 6 years old. My concern is that one is still into preschool shows (like Max and Ruby, Go Diego Go, Backyardigans) more than other more age appropriate shows. He tends to be more immature in lots of ways than his brother (tends to hit when frustrated with his brother, likes some younger toys, etc.). He's also shy a lot of the time. He did well in kindergarten academically, but didn't really make any close connections with peers in his class. He had a little "gang" in his preschool class (as he called it)--he and 3 other boys played together all the time (and his brother wasn't even one of the other 3). He was sort of the leader in that preschool group--in K he tended to play with others if they'd do what he wanted, but play by himself if they wouldn't. His twin brother tends to be more outgoing, better at sports, has done a little better on testing they had in K. . .part of it boils down to motivation/effort.

I guess my concern is having him not feel good about himself. I bring up his strengths to him all the time, but he doesn't seem as sure of himself as his brother. Maybe it's just the shyness thing. .. Do you think I should be worried about something more with him (like something a doctor needs to see him for) or do you think he's just a little immature with his likes and behaviors and will just develop in his own time??? I'm not quite sure what to do to help him other than keep trying everything I can think of to find his God given strengths and play them up as much as possible. With the shyness, it's hard to get him to _fully_ participate in a lot of things. Any suggestions??
Thanks!

[hardworkinmama]

Would you be having these same concerns if he wasn't a twin? I have heard that with twins one is usually ahead of the other but I don't think it's necessarily anything to worry about. I don't think you need to see a doctor just yet. Maybe mention it to their ped at the next appointment. Also, you said he did well acedemically so maybe he is going to be the book smart one and the brother will be the athletic one. I say just give it some time and see what happens. Everything will be okay.

[twnz4me]

Thanks for your response. I think if I didn't have twins I'd still notice my one son's immaturity to some degree (being into different things than his peers), but it's probably just more pronounced because I have twins. I just want to make sure he has good self esteem and that there's not something I'm missing.

[CLS]

There's a mom of twins who will be in 1st grade at my son's daycare. She & I have talked a lot about our kids over the years, and one of the things that she was most concerned about when they started kindgergarten was making sure they each had their "own" thing. She specifically requested that they be put into separate classrooms. She also has each boy signed up for a different extra cirricular activity. (I think one does soccer & the other does swimming.) Obviously each kid/family is different, but you might try separating them at school or even just putting the "shy" son in an activity that is all his own. It might give him something to be proud of that only he can do.

[twnz4me]

Actually, I've tried to do that too. They were in separate K classes --however, in their K classes they actually rotated teachers and so they still had Science/Social Studies and Computer Lab together. In the Spring they played different sports (the same in the Fall). It's hard when they both like the same sport though. I've been on the look out for things I think the quieter twin can excel in, but he doesn't really seem all that interested in the things we've tried thus far. Maybe he's just not ready for that something that requires a certain level of motivation to learn a specific skill (instead of _just_ having fun). That's part of my concern. I guess I'm not completely sure what to expect out of him--what's "normal" and what's "immature." Is it "normal" for a child of 6 1/2 to still like shows like "max and Ruby" and "Diego?" Is it "normal" for him to really not want to "get into" structured activities to improve his skills (e.g. not really follow what he needs to do to become a better soccer player)? I'd love to find the perfect (or even slightly close to perfect) outlet for him that could really let him come into his own. So far, it's been a tough process. . ..
Thanks a lot for your suggestion though. Makes me at least feel like I've been on the right track to some degree!! :)

[remote1]

I agree with harworkinmama. I raised my two girls in exactly the same way, but their personalities are polar. They are unique individuals even though they are twins.