HELP!! Strange behavior in 3 year old DS

[drm102]

My son is almost 3 years old and has always stayed with either my mother or my mother in law as his caregivers.* He has never even been left alone with anyone else for even a short period of time. Just recently, since it has been a hot summer, we have all been letting him run around in just his underwear and a shirt or something.* Especially since just having underwear on makes it easier for him to go potty by himself.* Well, about a month ago, he started playing some alone in his room while I was busy cleaning the house.* When I noticed that he was being very quiet, I went to check on him.* When I got to his room, he had shut his door, and when I opened it, I found him with his underwear off and one of his toys near his butt.* When he stood up, I saw that he had an erection!!!** I questioned him about whether or not his butt was itching or hurting and he said no; when I asked him if it felt good he said yes.* I tried to calmly talk to him about it, but I found him again 3 more times that afternoon.* Over that next week, we all kept finding him in this akward situation or some variable of the same.* We have all talked to him about it, told him that if he kept putting objects (toys) up there that we would have to throw that toy away because it has poopy on it.* We went for a while keeping him fully clothed at all times except bathing, ect. and it seemed to have stopped.* But just today, he unscrewed the antenna from his remote control car controller and I found him sticking that in his rectum as well.* I really don't know how else to handle this!* I feel he is way too young!* I understand that all kids will play with themselves, but UP HIS BUTT????? *I am also concerned that he may end up really hurting himself before it is all over.*** I know that he has never seen anything of the sort.* I also got him down and checked his rectum well to make sure there was nothing up there or nothing wrong and everything looks fine down there.

Please Help---Any suggestions???

[racerfamily4@yahoo.com]

I honestly dont know what i would do in that situation. Does he only do it in his room with the door closed? If that is the case, take his door down. Or take anything small that will fit up there and throw it away. You may want to talk to your ped about it too. Sorry, im not much help!

[mbrandow]

I agree children do crazy things, but the stick things up his rectum is way to much for me and I know this might anger you or upset you, but I would go to his prediatriction and see if maybe someone in the family is doing something they shouldnt. Its always better to be safe than sorry. And I do hope everything is okay.

[drm102]

No, he sometimes will go into another room, but he usually leaves the door open if he is going to do it. However, I have also caught him in the middle of the living room doing this! I have extensively questioned both my mother in law and my mother and they both state that they have no idea where he has gotten this from. I know that it is just him and which ever grandmother is keeping him alone during the day, it's not like there are a lot of other kids or people around him. The biggest problem is that he takes some of the most unlikely objects to do this with, things I would never think about hiding or putting away. He has an appointment at the beginning of September for his well check; I'm just hoping any praying to make it to that point without incidence since both my husband and myself work full time and don't get home until after 5 pm.

We are getting to the end of our rope trying to figure out the best way to deal with this, especially since my son is so defiant and hard headed!! My husband has started making him throw away whatever he gets caught with and then stand in the corner for 5 minutes.

Thanks for the help anyway!

[wright1212]

OK since you seem confident that its not something he has witnessed or experienced I think you dont need to panick anymore. Children have a GREAT tendency to do bizarre things out of natural instinct. For an odd example many 1-2yearolds make themselves throw-up when they discover putting a finger in their mouth does so, sometimes for over 6 months. Second they are learning appropriate from inappropriate at that age. Since they are LEARNING I really dont think punishment will help and will only make him think he is bad. I think lengthy (5min for a 3yo) with good back and forth discussion will work better. He must talk too. I know my son (disability) will often do things that result in erection, but I cant punish him since he wont understand.
Try to think of it like a chronic nose picker- they could get hurt and nasty if they dont stop, but its not horrible. Just focus on teaching inappropriate. I like the idea of making it a troublesome ordeal. So stick to throwing anything away it happens with, make it a big deal-like oh now we have throw this away, a big washing hands routine, and good discussion about inappropriate. Also replace with good things-keep him busy. Make some homemade playdough, coloring, games, computer, books, outside, puzzles, ect.
Good Luck.

[drm102]

Thanks so much for easing my nerves somewhat! Today has been without incidence so far; my mother in law put him in overalls today and he has been very busy, so good so far!

We talked this afternoon as I was picking him up and she (MIL) seems to think he has just found the hole, especially since he will sometimes 'sniff' the object afterwards! I guess I would just feel a lot better if he wasn't using small objects; heck if he was just playing with his penis or something, I don't think I would really care at all.

You know, this is the stuff that no one ever tells parents about! Tell me in what manual I can find the guidance for this crazy, mind boggling stuff??!! Kids really do push parents to the limits of sanity with the most unimaginable feats! The bad part is, I am a seasoned nurse and have worked with many a parent, children and doctors! Go figure!

Thank God for sites like this! :)