Hitting!!!!

[Annie20]

PLEASE HELP!
My son is 20 months old and he just started to hit other kids around his age. He hasn't hit older kids or adults but kids around his age get hit. I'm a little worried because most sites I visted mention kids hitting when their angry but as soon as he walks up to them he hits, nothing provokes him.
WHAT SHOULD I DO???? Should I worry?

[cay8099]

Does anyone you know playfully hit on the arm or anyting like that? Does daddy rough house with him? This could be a learned behavior that he picked up from someone else, and he being only 20mos doesn't understand the appropriate times to use such behavior. If this sounds like that may be the case you will need to stop modeling this behavior, and redirect or admonish as needed.

[auntmaggie77]

It COULD be a learned behaviour but children develop certain behaviours on their own. There are kids who bite and not because someone bit them... they just do it.
In your case, when you see him go to another child to hit, hold his hand, look him in the eyes, say NO. Let go. If he does it again. Repeat. I have seen a friend put his hands in "time out" which just means she holds his hand for a full minute. This drives the child nuts but he'll soon learn not to hit. And this option is for you moms who want to try something other than a quick reminder smack to the backside... and no, that doesn't teach hitting no matter what the "pros" tell you but that's another story.

[jaxon1015]

I agree. My son is also 20 months and will hit when he gets frustrated or we don't understand what he wants, immediately. Usually what my husband and I do is hold his hands after everytime he hits and say, "We don't hit, that's not nice." And let go of his hands. If he does it again we repeat, up to 3 times. After the 4th time, if he's still hitting, he is placed in time out and we explain to him, very simply that we don't hit, it's not nice and that we need to be nice to everyone. I walk away and give him one minute in time out. Usually during this time, is the meltdown. But, when I go back to him, I ask him if he's ready to be nice and he always says yes. Pick him up and hug him and tell him that mommy loves him but doesn't like when he hits. It took about a few weeks of constant repetition for it to start to sink in. Now, he'll hit and most of the time all I have to say is be nice and he'll pet me like a dog.
Every family is different and every way works differently with kids. The key is repetition. That's the only way kids learn new and good behaviors.
Good luck.