View Full Version : Baby #2. . . .
06-09-2009, 11:35 AM
I am not sure why, but lately, I have really wanted to have a second child. Damen is such an amazing part of my life, I want to give him a sibling. It would put them roughly 2-3 years apart. My SIL has two kids around the same ages and they do really well together. I am not talking right this instant. Maybe in 6 months or so... My DH may be getting a new job with AMAZING benefits and great pay, it would just be great. I may be a SAHM, WOO HOO!
I got to wondering though, would I be considered irresponsible for having two kids? I would be almost 20 when I delivered a second one (if things go according to plan, that is....) With MissBootyMeat...I know she was 19 with three and got attacked for it. Whereas I would be 19 with two, once again, only if things were going according to plan. Your thoughts?
06-09-2009, 11:40 AM
If you are able to provide for the second baby, both emotionally and financially, then you are not irresponsible. If you aren't, that is a different story. I understanding wanting another, but your children can still be close if they are farther apart in age. Personally if I were you, I would give yourself a little more time, maybe 2-3 years. My MIL had her first at 18 and her second at 23....even that ended up being very young. By the time she was 26 she started realizing she missed out a lot of her youth and made some very irresponsible decisions. Needless to say, my in laws are divorced and I don't think that would have happend if they had more time together to develop a strong base....even with one child. Although I am thrilled they had the second since I married him.... ;)
06-09-2009, 11:42 AM
No, she got attacked for being 19, having three kids, and crying that no one would take care of them FOR her.
If you are mature and responsible and self-sufficient, and not going to expect your parents, or his parents, to step in and raise your children for you, its a completely different situation.
If you are sure you're ready, your husband is sure he's ready, and you can both handle it financially with NO problems, then have at it. :)
Just make sure you're BOTH sure that its what you want, because after it happens you can't change your mind!
And also you said he "may" be getting a good job. Make sure first! Two kids, twice the expense.
06-09-2009, 11:47 AM
It is not irresponsible if you are capable financially and emotionally ready for a second child. I would make sure first the your DH has this new job and is secure in his position before taking the leap though.
06-09-2009, 01:39 PM
We could actually afford it now, but I want to be able to more than afford it, you know? We wouldn't even try until after he had the job for a while, get some more money in the bank. I am just having baby-fever I guess...:o
06-09-2009, 03:14 PM
2-3 years is perfect in my eyes! my son will be exactly 2 1/2yrs when his little sister is born! my sister and me DO NOT get along very well! well until just recently we can now stay in the same household together for a couple hours without getting into a fight! and we are 5yrs apart. then my hubby and his sister are 3yrs apart and they get along. so we went with the 2 1/2! :)
hopefully he will get that job!!! its always nice to upgrade to a better job!!
and the difference between you and whatever her name is, is you provide for your children, your married and your not 19 with 3 kids i say it again 3 kids!. you seem so much more mature then her. i only read some of the post to her thread cause i just thought they were ridicules. so i would say if your DH gets that job and you both agree on having another baby, GO FOR IT!!
06-09-2009, 03:36 PM
Closer in age is better because they can entertain each other! Mine were 3 years apart and afterwards I felt like that was a little too long. Plus you are not so detached from all the baby stuff, that it feels hard again.
06-09-2009, 09:20 PM
my sister and i were 3 years apart and growing up we never got close
we are close now but still feel like we missed out on so much
i wana try have my babies 2 years apart
if u feel ready then i say go for it it could take a while of ttc before it happens
too so yer
06-09-2009, 10:16 PM
My brother and I are 13 months apart (No my mother wasn't crazy, we were adopted... I was twice the surprise because I was a surprise to my birth mother and a surprise to my adopted parents... they hadn't expected to adopt again so soon but the doctor handling my adoption called and said "Guess what!" and they couldn't say no to me :p )
Even though we're closer in age than is sane... I wouldn't want a newborn and a one year old in the house, I have to say, coming from that situation... closer together is good. My brother and I haven't seriously spoken to each other since high school, but that's a personality thing. When we were growing up we were playmates, entertaining each other a lot. We had quite a bit of sibling rivalry but I think no matter what you get that.
I'd say two to three years apart is ideal. That's what were hoping to do. Hopefully we'll be in a good situation when the time comes, but if you can handle it, go for it! The benefit is they'll be interested in similar things and you won't go through the older sibling not wanting to do stuff with the younger sibling because the younger 'is just a baby' :)
06-10-2009, 07:14 AM
Me and my sister are 6 1/2 years apart. In childhood it was no fun at all, in fact, I hated her guts for getting away with everything, though I was still very protective of her. As we grew older and after being a couple of continents and oceans away, we grew to love each other and became best friends, but it took a long time, so maybe 2-3 years apart is best.
I wouldn't think for a second that you're irresponsible, you behave and take responsibilities as an adult, have a family, and you're not a knocked up child popping babies ever year. Just make sure hubby gets the better job, and you're good to go :D
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