2yr old is hot-headed, stubborn bully

[Mommaof2girls]

My daughter just turned 2 in May. I need advise on how to handle her. Her temper flares like a flash of lightening. One minute she is sweet & kind, the next she is screaming, hitting, crying and just plain mad. This usually happens when she is not getting her way. These tantums happen 5-6+ times a day (in private and in public). I have tried just walking away...she follows me, still carrying on. I have tried putting her in a time out...ya right, she hits the wall and runs. I have put her in her room and closed the door...she practically throws up from the crying fit that follows. I have tried grabbing her and hugging her in hopes of settling her down, but she hits and pinches and bites. She bullies her 4 yr old sister and usually gets her way. Her vocabulary is coming along and I know she is probably frustrated that we don't know what she really wants, but even when we do, if I say NO, she freaks. On top of this is the stubborness. If she is doing something that I don't want her to do, and I tell her no or to stop, she completely ignores me and carries on. If I remove her or try to get her interested in something else, she tries to go right back to what she was doing...and again, when I persist, the tantum kick in. I don't give in to her (at least I TRY not to!), but the days are exhausting and public outings stress me out. Any advise?

[cay8099]

I've said it before and I'll say it again. Ignore the tantrums. They are a tool specifically designed to gain attention and/or get the fit thrower exactly what they are after. When she is throwing the tantrum act as if she is not even there until the fit has passed. Even in public. Let her follow you around the store; as long as she is throwing the tantrum don't even look at her. You say that you try not to give in to her, but she usually gets her way. That is only showing her exactly how effective the tantrums is. As long as she is getting her way the fits will continue, and they will get progressively worse. Stop the fit by removing the audiesnce.

[cay8099]

One more thing: when the older child is involved remove her and whatever caused the fit from the 2yos sight and proceed to ignore, and it will not hurt her to throw up before it's over. Just clean her up when she stops throwing the fit. If you rush in to clean up the vomit while the tantrum is in progress then she is getting attention, and (trust me when I say this) she will teach herself to vomit on command for attentoin.

[Mikey_BKK]

Yepp, ignore is what works best. And her behaviour should have consequences (I don’t use the word punishment though). If she likes to throw tantrums in public, then arrange situations where you can tell her that she is not allowed to join you going out because of her behaviour
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It will get worse before it gets better :)
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Michael
Father of Idea, the good idea

[Mikey_BKK]

"I don't give in to her (at least I TRY not to!)"
Try is not good enough, you need consistently not give in to her. Ignore, turn your back
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Michael