DESPERATE 3 year old refuses to potty

[gildaroxana]

I've been trying to train my daughter for over a year...
When we went to purchase the potty she didn't even want to have anything to do with it.
I've tried everything under the sun, the charts, the rewards, the punishment, I really do not know where else to go from here.
I even left her in underwear for almost a week and that was just a messy disaster.
Maybe I gave up too soon...one week is not enough?? I don't know.
Is there anything else that I may not know about?
she was sort of going before her little brother came along, but he's now 18 months...
What to do???
I have signed her up for preschool this coming August and if she's not completely potty trained by then, I may be in trouble and they may not want her there...and she is so ready to start school. She is extremely intelligent and seems to understand what we're up to here. So, yesterday her grandma said to her: don't you want to go to school? and she simply replied "NOT YET".
HELP!!!

[cay8099]

Many children regress when a new sibling enters the picture; it's normal. The key is to help her see that being the big girl is part of what makes her special. Getting to go to school, and doing a variety of big girl things that a younger sibling cannot do. That includes going to the potty.

Punishments generally do not work when potty training is in play. Only patience and time is your friend in this situation.

One more thing praise her left and right for going potty when she does. Telling her how proud you are that she's a big girl could be helpful in making potty training a success story.

[cay8099]

Actually a large percetage of preschools do not take kids that are not potty trained. If you can find a good preschool/daycare center they help with potty training. My sons preschool actually wouldn't take children that could not wipe themselves. One child in the 4yo class was kicked out because he was still in diapers.

If there are any older children in your family who are potty trained; then having her spend more time with them could help encourage her to use the potty as well.

[gildaroxana]

Thank you so much for the replies. I am also going to make an extra effort to train her this summer and as of this morning I took off her diaper and put her in "tinkerbell" panties. She is excited about them...but as it is the case with her, I know the excitement will wear off... anyhow, I just have to keep trying. I also put the timer on for hourly intervals to take her to the potty and that seems to be the only way she'll go but sometimes I end up sitting her on it because she doesn't want to go. Unfortunately, we do not have other potty trained kids around she can spend time with until she enters preschool. I'll re-post once my mission is accomplished, hopefully soon. Thanks again!

[KayLady]

Have you ever heard of Dr. John Rosemond? He has a great method for potty training. I won't describe it because I'm sure I'll get something wrong, but here's a link :
http://www.rosemond.com/view/389/22010/4709.html

[gildaroxana]

My Goodness!! KayLady, I LOVE YOU!!! thank you so much for sharing with me Dr. Rosemond!!! I have started reading his advice on potty training, and I LIKE IT!!
I will try it and keep you posted. If it works...I will love you forever!!! Thank you so much!! and I will start potty training my 1 1/2 year old son soon too... =-)

[JanieJo]

Sometimes all the charts, rewards, praise and punishment you can dish out just doesn't work! I am speaking from experience.....My ds was almost five before he was out of pull-ups and 2+ years later, he still wets the bed and poops in his pants.

[KayLady]

My Goodness!! KayLady, I LOVE YOU!!! thank you so much for sharing with me Dr. Rosemond!!! I have started reading his advice on potty training, and I LIKE IT!!
I will try it and keep you posted. If it works...I will love you forever!!! Thank you so much!! and I will start potty training my 1 1/2 year old son soon too... =-)
You're welcome. I had not come across it yet when training my now 4 year old (I'm pretty sure it would have worked WAY better than the variety of things we used with her); but will also be training my 19 month old soon and will try his 'technique'. I'd like to start now, unfortunately he hasn't been moved up to the potty training room at daycare yet, so it would be pointless to start if he can't use the potty all day during the week.

[simplemommy]

Thank you, Thank you.. I am very relieved I am not the only one with a 3-year-old that will not go on the potty!!! He knows exactly when he has to go and what he has to go... will even go in the bathroom to do it, but WILL NOT go on the potty!!! I am hoping I can find something on here to help because I am about out of options as are most others on here. I have promised the world.... what more can I do???????????? :) :)

[gildaroxana]

Thanks for all your advice!!
I am so amazed!!
My daughter turned 2 and I immediately started taking her to her own very cool red baby bjorn potty...no success up until now!! almost 1 and a half years later!!
YES...I know!! I was so frustrated and fed up!!
but on Monday...the change occurred...by accident!!
I had heard of leaving her without a diaper but was afraid to do it because we have carpet and did not want to have any more accidents...the thought of poop on my carpet horrified me but it so happened that my son needed my immediate attention and after using the potty I did not put her pullups on ...and then...about 15 minutes after she came up to me and said..."mommy I want to go poo-poo" I could not believe my ears!! and then when I lifted her dress up...I realized that she was not wearing a pullup....man!! I thought...Had I been more confident...I could have done this a year and a half ago as our pediatrician suggested!!! I was thrilled and this was Monday morning. Today is Friday afternoon and we've only had one accident per day, which to me is awesome!! We went to Target and Ikea this morning and she used the big toilet. Once at each place!!! My God!! I could not believe it myself...I still take her to the potty every hour...we started every 1/2 hr. she's now wearing panties and loves it. I put on her pullup only to go to bed.
I tried everything...and if you moms out there are still having issues. Give the no-diaper a try!! it might work for you. Good luck and do not give up. One-hour or half-hour timer works great!! (I also gave her 5 m&M's for poop and 1 for pee)