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daisymay
04-12-2008, 12:22 PM
Hello everyone!

This is my first time posting here but I need some help PLEASE!
I have 2 kids: 10 yo DD and 3 yo DS.
My husband and I own a store and take turns working there durin the week and weekends. He is here during the week and I come on the weekends.

I have been home with DS since day 1. I nursed him no formula (which i am beging to feel that was a HUGE mistake). So he was with me 24-7-365.

I am blaming myself and my dh. Whenever i wanted to run errands or go somewhere for a little while alone or with dd I HAD to take ds with me. DH did not want to stay home with him while I left for a while. This happened all the time since ds was 3 months old. I never left him home with dh period, becuase his excuse was "what do i do if he gets hungry" I could not pump becuase i did not produce enough milk to pump enough into a bottle (maybe 1/2-1 oz at the most and that was at my fullest!!) to satisfy ds if I were gone for a few hours. Even feeding him before I left would not be enough for him. I literally fed ds for 16+ hours a day for the first 6 months. I rarely had time to put him down while he was awake to do anything but hold and feed him :(

Fast forward to now. DS cries him self sick when i get ready to leave. He will not let me out of his sight for 10 sec. And dh is yelling at me for his tantrum!

DH will call me while I am at the store and yell at me and call me names, then remind me how tired he is, how stressed he is (he still works antoher job that allows him to telecommute from home), how he has not felt good for the past week (sore throat, cough and fever) and I am not doing him a favor by coming here. All the while ds is angry, mad and screaming.

making me too look like the bad guy in all of this. It's all my fault.

How do i help ease this problem? Hiring someone for the weekend is not an option we do not have enough business to hire even 1 part time person (not even for 2 or 3 hours ) :(

Please help me. I cant sit here and cry everytime i leave because i get yelled at and blamed for everything.

DS just does not want to spend time with his daddy, dh is very loving, but he just is not use to the idea of being home alone with dd and dh without me.

Please help.............i am desperate.

Sadly yours,

Daisy

ps. I never hear an appology from dh on his little out bursts twards me :( :(

Casalinga
04-13-2008, 11:11 PM
I'm so sorry you are going through this! I know it's not easy!

Can you give some details? How long has this been going on? A week? A month?

Do you have any family, a mom or mil that could come over and help ease your son through the transition? I feel that things will eventually get better, but it would be great if you could get some temporary help from a family member or friend.

mamaof3
04-14-2008, 12:00 AM
Sorry that your going through this! Sounds pretty stressful! I think it is awful that your husband yells at you and calls you names! I don't know how you put up with it! Would your husband rather work on the weekends than watch your ds? What is it that he wants you to do? It probably doesn't help your son feel more relaxed staying home without you if your husband is stressed out and yelling! Sorry I don't have any advice, hopefully you guys will be able to figure something out soon!!!! Keep us posted!