View Full Version : Dealing With a Rude Tween
Sasha at Parenting.com
05-22-2009, 11:01 AM
Has your kid starting giving major attitude all of a sudden? In the June issue of Parenting School Years, we have some tips for handling this common phase (http://www.parenting.com/article/Child/Behavior/7-Ways-to-Fix-Rude-Tween-Behavior).
Do you have a sassy tween or teen? What works for you?
05-22-2009, 05:41 PM
I'm step mom to a tweener. She is generally a good kid but here lately I can definitely see the hormones coming alive. In a way I dread it. I'm not ready for this. My son is only 4 and my step daughter came into my life when she was 7 years old. She lives full time with us and I feel like this puberty thing might be more than I can handle, but so far we've been ok. She doesn't get to see her mom very often (she lives quite a distance away). I feel like she needs me to be there for her more than ever now that she is about to hit her teens. I remember how hard that was.
She's always been a lil spitfire and had an attitude. At first I let it get to me but over the years I've learned how to communicate with her. I have to say she has been a bit more testy these last few months than is normal for her. Something in that article made me think of an incident just the other day when I was joking with her about being a big baby when she gets scratched and she snapped back "You're the big baby" except she wasn't joking! This really shocked me. Today I was getting a bit irritated with her for lying around when I had been telling her over and over to pick up her things in the living room and I said "You've got too much to do to be laying around" and she snapped back "So do you!" and I could tell immediately she had wished she wouldn't have said that. I'm trying to be understanding. I know how a woman's hormones can make you a bit irritable and impulsive, but at the same time I don't want her to think its ok for her to talk to me that way. This is definitely a difficult age!! Then after this comes the dreadful teens!!!!
One thing I told her after confronting her about spouting out those rude comments is that I don't care what she's thinking in her head thats her business, but she can't say those things out loud because it is disrespectful and there will be consequences for her actions. I don't want her to feel smothered. I know at this age they are thinking irrationally because they are learning whats ok and whats not ok and how they feel about certain things, but I always want to maintain a strong parental stance. I think showing stability to your children actually feeds their security even though at the moment they hate that they can't change your mind about something or get away with something.
07-02-2009, 11:59 AM
Does Your Child Say This? “You’re not my mom! I don’t have to listen to you!” (http://www.empoweringparents.com/You-are-not-my-mom-I-dont-have-to-listen-to-you.php)
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