Would this be an appropriate gift?

[snowyangel]

All,

Need some opinions here. My son is 4 years old. Divorced from Dad.

Dad's parents had delivered for his birthday a Fisher Price Ford 150 truck.

We live in a condo with a 1 car garage.

As a parent, do you think the grandparents should have asked the parent who has primary custody whether this would be an appropriate gift before having it delivered? I knew there was a gift being delivered - didn't know it would be something that big?

Thanks!

[rmschmitt49]

i've been fighting both sets of grandparents NOT to buy one for my son for the last 2 years (he's only going to be 3 in Aug!!) so I completely feel the dread you are going through right now!!!!
My thoughts would be to let it go: yes, they should have asked but they're probably just showing off, or using extravagant gifts to ease their guilt. Do they see him often?? Do they live nearby? Maybe in a house with a bigger garage???? If so, I'd thank them profusely for the gift, tell them how much your son loves it, but you don't have a storage spot for such a nice toy, could they please store it at their house? That's if your really against the truck!! Otherwise, go for some walks with your son and his new ride and enjoy the spring!

[SpinMom]

As a parent, of course I think they should have consulted the primary custody parent if the gift would be received well. In my experience, grandparents seldom consider logistics when it comes to expressing their love for their grandchildren, especially when the parents of said grandchildren are divorced. It seems insensitive as well as extravagant.

Explain the situation they have now created for you. If they do live nearby, ask if they can store the truck. If not, explain that you may have to sell the truck (or trade it in, however you'd like to word it) or give it away to someone who has the space to store it and opportunity to use it. If you end up having to sell an expensive toy like that, they may get the message for next time. Your son is only 4 years old. If you don't set up clear guidelines now, it may get worse.

I tried to have these conversations with my MIL (who I have posted about previously - nightmare!) before I ever got pregnant. For my son's second Christmas, she got him a little battery operated four wheeler, after I had repeatedly vehemently vetoed the idea. He was only 13 months old at the time, hadn't even started walking yet. Needless to say, the four wheeler is still parked in our garage with the battery disconnected, taking up space (sigh). I intend to keep trying, but I expect it will get worse no matter what I do.

If you are on good terms with his parents, try having an open conversation about it. Let me know if they listen!!

Good luck to you.

[kfiedler]

My Grandparents bought a little hummer thing for my daughter at 18 months. Grandparents spoil kids rotten. Our house is small as well, and my parents have a bigger house with a bigger yard, so it stays there she is now 3 and loves it.

[heathermarie]

They should have absolutely checked with you first! You are the parent & you know what your child needs. I understand they want to spoil them but they should respect your decision on things you want and dont want them to have. This is something that has already started with my husband's parents. They bought my 4 month old a fisher price walker-to-wagon for christmas. It is a nice gesture and yes he can use it in the future but they should have checked with me first. We already have one from another family member which they would of known if they would of asked me before buying it. Yes I can just keep it at there house but if you read my other posts you know my son does not go over there very often because they are crazy! lol

My son will be a year old this August so to TRY and prevent this from happening again I think I've found a solution. I don't know what stores you have in your town but here we have a Target and Wal-Mart (which im sure you do too because they are everywhere)! On their websites or at their stores they have a thing called "wish lists" which you can make. It's like a baby or wedding registry. You get the scanner and scan items and you print the lists from the same computer as the baby & wedding registries. You can do these wish lists for birthdays or christmas or just have them up year round. So I have started one for my son and I will let everyone know about it in his birthday invitations. This makes it easier so you get only things you need and you dont have to worry about getting double of things and returning them. I am also putting on there one outfit so everybody will know what size clothing to buy for him and I will update the list every holiday and when he grows and needs a bigger size in clothes.

Well I hope this helps!