3 year old screams when new baby cries

[ebrown]

I have a 3 year old and a 3 month old baby. My 3 year old gets really upset everytime the baby cries. It is not as bad at home because I can distract her or remove her, but the car is a nightmare. If the baby starts crying in the car the 3 year old screams and kicks the seat in font of her. It is making me crazy! I have tried talking to her about why she gets so upset. I have also tried threatening time outs, but nothing seems to make a difference. Any suggestions?

[cay8099]

This is either a compassion/sensitivity thing, or this is a the baby cries and gets attention I'll try that thing. If this is about a bid for attention you need to show your 3yo that it will not get her attention. Yes the crying is hard to hear and ignore, but that may be what you need to do. Children will try anything for attention, and they stick with what works. You may need to schedule in more good attention time for your 3yo. Even something as simple as playing with the baby together is positive attention, and it promotes bonding between siblings.

[Mikey_BKK]

Threatening with time outs won't work for the simple reason that it doesn't address the root cause.
As always cay8099, you are good :)
ebrown, check out cay's posts, they are a Bible of good advice
-
Micheal

[ebrown]

I think part of the problem is that I don't really know what the root cause is. At first I assumed she was just needing attention, but I know that she is a sensitive child so I started to think that she was truly bothered by the sound of the baby crying. How do I help her if it is a sensitivity issue? I don't want to ignore her if she is really upset. Thanks for your responses.

[cay8099]

Try teaching her that crying is the babies way of talking. Since the baby can't talk to tell mommy what's wrong like the 3yo can, cries tell mommy that baby needs something. She may be thinking that the baby cries because it's hurt, and this upsets her.

[eniese]

We dealt with a little of that early on too. Definitely make sure you are getting plenty of quality time with your 3 year old. That will help any number of issues that come up with a new sibling. As far as the crying goes, we spent a lot of time emphasizing that babies cry because they can't talk. I let my son try to help me figure out what the baby needed. We also talked a lot about how when he cries it makes the baby cry more, so if he doesn't like her crying, the best thing to do is stay quiet and let mommy figure out what the problem is.

To deal with the whining that came about after the baby was born, we simply told him that we can't hear whiny voices, but if he asks for things with a big boy voice we're happy to help. That one has been slower going, but mostly effective.

[mjdustin11]

This exact thing is happening to me now with my three year old son and his four month old brother. I do not think that it is an attention getting thing because he pleads for me to pick up the baby...Our car rides go exactly as you described. It's very frustrating. Since this is an old post I am wondering how this worked out for you. What age did it stop? I am not getting any relief. And I actually feel sorry for my three year old because he seems tortured. Thanks.