View Full Version : Am I a bad mom
04-04-2008, 05:34 PM
My son is four months old and truth is, I had trouble adjusting emotionally when I went in for my six week check up. I haven't talked to my doctor recently, but I still feel a bit out of sorts. My anxiety goes up when my son cries; it's like a panicky feeling. I feel alone and it's affected my marriage a little. We get into some huge fights when I feel more down on some days. I don't want anyone to know because I'm not a bad mom and I think that's how they'll feel. Now I ask you...am I such a bad mom???
04-04-2008, 06:05 PM
Oh trubearj, my heart goes out to you! You are so not a bad mom. I've read many of your postings on here and definitely don't think you're a bad mom at all.
I definitely think you should talk to your doctor about this for sure. Why not? With that being said, when my daughter was that young I was still having a really hard time adjusting. Not just to being a mom, but with how much free time my husband seemed to have and how carefree he still seemed while I felt as though I was carrying the weight of the world all alone. It really put a strain
on our marriage, but we were able to work through it. You two can work through this as well, just need to negotiate and communicate with each other.
You need to reach out to your support system. If you don't have one, time to implement one. I was able to turn to my mom, my MIL, and my husband once I got him on the same page as myself. I had to start giving myself a day off a week to be alone and by myself. I had to give myself permission to take a break from being a mom, and just let me be me. I still, even after a year and a half, have to convince myself it is good for me, for my daughter, and for my husband for them to have one on one time and for me to be off for me time.
Good luck TrubearJ. You are not a bad mom, and I have no doubt you have the strength and wisdom to get through this. And just so you know, I also get that panicky feeling whenever my daughter cries. Even when I know she's just fine, I start to feel anxious and can't concentrate on hardly anything. Even when I know I have to let her throw her tantrum or cry it out, it is so hard. You WILL get through this.
You are NOT a bad mom! You're still a NEW one. Having a first child is such a life altering and stressful experience. I remember feeling very overwhelmed and depressed the first months of my daughter's life. You may be like me, when I tried to do everything myself and learned I needed to lean on others. Make sure you enlist help -- and LET others help you. I would also definitely speak with your doctor. And hang in there! I promise it will get better!
04-05-2008, 03:34 PM
Trulen is my second child and what I feel is worse than with my first. You would think that after the first one, you wouldn't have anxiety. And you would think that a baby would bring two people closer but it's driving me apart from my husband. We're not divorcing but as he puts it "he's not gone he's lost." I feel like not just a bad mom but now a bad wife.
04-05-2008, 03:41 PM
I just had my second child and I know how you feel! I get that anxious feeling to, especially when they are both upset or my older son (2 years old) is getting in to something and the baby is crying and so on. Anyway, YOU ARE NOT A BAD MOM! You should address your concerns with your doctor and see what he suggests, but I think it's perfectly natural to be anxious and to have these feelings. Being a mom is a lot of stress and pressure and some men just don't understand that.
04-05-2008, 05:42 PM
No! You are definately not a bad mom!
It sounds like you need to talk to your husband, a friend, your mom, someone in addition to your doctor. As a mom who's experienced severe (almost psychosis) post-partum depression, it sounds as if that may be something you're going through.
Talk to someone! Get someone to help you out! :)
Try this link out, it may answer some questions for you!
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