Colic Hurts

[RaistlinsMomma]

I am working on something very important, and am looking for parents or friends of parents to contribute.

I have a colicky baby. If you have never had a colicky baby, or know someone who has, then your opinion on the matter will mostly likely not be helpful. Your concern is appreciated, and your help is always accepted, but colic is unlike anything you could ever imagine.

I am seeking those of you who have been there, who paced the floors for hours, who cried as your child wailed from their crib because you just needed a break. I need those of you who couldn't wait for the phase to end, but couldn't stop searching for an answer, a solution, help. I want to know your stories.

I want to start something for those of us who have had, or currently have no place to turn for answers. Doctors can't find a cure, they don't even know why it happens. Their guesswork breaks your heart with every scream and every tear that falls from your inconsolable infants face. We need to work together to let every parent of a baby with colic know, they are NOT alone.

If you have a story about your colicky baby, or a friends colicky baby, or ideas to help others with them, any supportive information will be greatly accepted. Imagine your story being part of a collaborative to help others who are now wearing the shoes you once wore. Or maybe you are still wearing them?

Please e-mail me with any stories, and your contact information, so that maybe I can get my idea off the ground, and start helping others!

Thank you!
Jacqueline

[Mikey_BKK]

There is good information here;
http://www.medicinenet.com/script/main/art.asp?articlekey=325&Page=1
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I have been there, but I was in a way lucky, it only lasted a month. My daughter screamed constantly for nearly 5 hours every evening between 6 PM and 11PM starting when she was 3 months old. My mother was very good support during the period because of her experience, my older sister screamed constantly for several months.
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The best help that we can give to parents who have a colicky baby is to let them know that there are millions of parents who has gone through the same thing, and that it does pass, it does really pass over, and although the child does hurt a bit while it is going on, the child will not get any permanent damage from it.
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I wrote this one evening when my daughters screamed;
Imagine this: Make 20 sandwiches and start giving them to your grandmother. When she starts to feel too full, then she will moan. Every time she moans, shovel another sandwich into her mouth until she throws up. When she throws up, then start to scream and run around with her so that she feels even worse.
Now imagine your 3-month-old toddler: When she is hungry, she will cry and when she is too full, then she will also cry. Because being 3 months old, she can’t say “I am full”, she doesn’t know how to yet
The morale of the story: Infants are NOT hungry every time they cry so don’t just automatically give her the breast when she does. It is our responsibility as parents to be smarter than that
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While I was lucky, it only lasted a month, I also felt so bad because I knew that the pain that my daughter had, and all the times that she threw up, they were all so unnecessary. My daughter, her name is Idea by the way, was fed between 20 and 25 times per day and nothing that I said or did could convince the mother-in-law that a baby that is crying is not necessarily doing so because she is hungry. And nor could I convince my wife to go against her mother.
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How many times did little Idea throw up in that month? I don’t know, a hundred times probably
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We went to hospital of course and the doctor listened to the little tummy and of course said that there was absolutely nothing wrong with the little child, except that her stomach was about to explode because she had been given way too much breast-milk, and the grand mother left the room. I asked the doctor to call in the grand mother again and explain why my daughter was screaming and throwing up, and she did. She also explained to the grand mother and the mother that it was important to consider if the baby was screaming because she was hungry or because she was a baby, before giving the breast. We finished off concluding that Idea had already been fed more than once the last hour so she was not hungry, and guess what; Idea was given the breast again before we had even left the hospital.
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This true story happened in Thailand where I now have been living and working for the last 17 years.
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I talked to the doctor again the following day, I told her that Idea is still being fed between 20 and 25 times per day, she is still screaming in pain and throwing up in the evening. The doctor again explained to me that the child will not get any permanent damage at all, she will not die, and yes, I know that it is totally unnecessary pain but I assure you that it will pass, without any permanent damage. Since we were talking in quick Thai and she thereby knew that I knew how important family is in Thailand, she also added that things like this could easily cause life-long family problems and that maybe I should let it pass, and that she also fully understood if I could not do that.
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To my surprise, she also said that I should be glad that I was in a Thai-Thai family and not a Thai-Chinese family. At first, I couldn’t understand why she said that, then I saw the sadness in her face and I understood that she had had to go through worse things, and she was a medical doctor specialising in child care.
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I took her advice, I had headache continuously for a month and yes, it did pass, Idea is a very spirited and healthy child who took absolutely no damage what so ever from the ordeal
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Experience to pass on:
Always stay calm, it does actually help
A baby is not hungry every time she cries, never give the breast more than max 12 times per day if your child has colic, 8 to 10 times is better still
It seems to me from observing many people during many years here in Thailand, that mothers who (have to) carry their children around a lot (because they have to work) are less likely to have babies who have 3-month colic
There are certain foods that mothers should avoid because they increase the problems
There are certain foods that mothers can eat to help reducing the problems a bit
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Best advice there is: There are millions of parents who have gone through the same, it will pass.
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Michael
Father of Idea, the good idea

[RaistlinsMomma]

Thank you so much for your response! I think it has been one of the best ones yet! I can tell that you are an amazing dad, and care very much for your family. I wish I could carry him in a wrap or sling or even in my arms all day, but often times, that doesn't even calm him. I have changed my diet, and also have decreased his feedings. Hopefully this will pass soon. He is ten weeks now, and the common 3 month mark is coming! Hopefully things become easier for all of us soon.

I love that your baby is named Idea, and the fact that you say it was the best idea is so adorable! :o)

My husband is the most amazing, loving father as well, and ironically, his name is Michael too! Well, thank you for your support! I hope to help many parents with this issue!

[Willbearsmom]

Did you try the Happiest Baby on the Block? Trust me it works. I kicked myself for not watching it sooner.

[Mikey_BKK]

I don't think it is only the carrying around that calms, I also think that it is the movement during the day that works as some sort of stimulus / exercise that reduces the symptoms (a bit) also during the evening.
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Give yourself a break if you feel that you can't stay calm when you hold your baby. I sometimes started to think about how much I disliked the mother-in-law and what I wanted to do to her etc when I was holding Idea, and even though I was careful to hold her softly and not change anything physically, she still got more stressed up and screamed more.
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Michael
Father of Idea, the good idea

[RaistlinsMomma]

Willbear: I did try it. The video was amazing. Raistlin hates being swaddled. I tried and he just screamed harder. However, I found out yesterday that my baby is NOT colic. It's actually quite the opposite of Michael's problem...

Idea was being fed too often, and screaming because her tummy was too full. I didn't realize, but the pediatrician figured out that I am just not producing enough milk. Raistlin was not constipated, he just didn't have anything to poop and was screaming all the time because he was hungry! I felt like the worst mother in the world because I was starving my baby and didn't know it! He only gained 1/2 an ounce in 2 weeks! However, his old pediatrician didn't even take a second thought of his weight at his 2 month checkup. She said nothing of the fact that he was only 1.5 pounds heavier than his birth weight at the 2 month mark! I am so unbelievably happy that I changed doctors.

My husband, Michael, said I am the worlds best mommy because I only want the best for my son, and I spent everyday trying to find the origin of the crying instead of just accepting it.

I still feel bad that I cannot solely supply my baby with breast milk. I had planned to nurse him for a year. I hate formula. It smells bad, and I am sure it doesn't taste very good. But, it is making my fussy, hurting baby a happy, smiling baby! Which makes for a happier mommy and daddy!

Thank you all so much for all of your support. I am so glad I decided to post about this topic. I still hope to start a foundation of some kind or even a magazine for parents of colicky, fussy, high-need babies. What I went through to find answers was the same heart wrenching, frustrating, and difficult time as any parent with a hurting baby. I hope to help people just as you have helped me!

Thank you again,
Jacqueline and baby Raistlin

[Mikey_BKK]

How much breast milk your body produces is also linked to how stressed up you are, how much you worry and so on.
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I clearly noticed that my wife, who normally had way too much breast milk almost dried out when we had an argument about the water buffalo of a mother-in-law that was staying with us… (well, I live in Thailand, OK?)
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Try taking the kid out for a drive in the car, many kids stop crying then. Don’t worry if he cries or start to cry while you drive
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Relax, smile, laugh, be happy, take a break, close the door to rest your ears sometimes :)
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Michael
Father of Idea, the good idea

[mom1228]

My nephew was very colic his mother was 16 and went crazy she had very little sleep and very little help. I felt horrible for her she look really sick from not eating not sleeping and just not caring of anything but her poor helpless son. But we had actually found a natural little pill that melts n your babys mouth, and man did that calm him down we never really believed in all the natural stuff till we tried hylands colic tablets from the health food store some wal-marts and kmarts also carry it. I also recommend the teething tablets and teething gel from hylands i use both for my son and it is awesome when its 3am and you baby is screaming of that tooth cutting his gums and that head ache.

[Mikey_BKK]

Colicky children often have sleep disturbances after their colic eases. It is therefore even more important that the parents and everybody in their environment Stay Calm during the hard times.
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Some parents may see that a child gets irritated if a task like e.g. changing diapers is not done quickly enough and speeds up a lot. This is a bad idea, that only stresses the child up and he will be more difficult in the future
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Stress builds over time, Always Stay Calm. And there is a good chance that your child will be a bit easier to handle in the future :)
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Best advice I possibly can give
Relax, smile, laugh, be happy, take a break, close the door to rest your ears sometimes, it will pass
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Michael
Father of Idea, the good idea