Could not believe what I saw yesterday!!

[Mommy2Be!]

Ok...so I have already asked everyone their opinion on what they thought of pacifiers but I think what I saw yesterday only makes me more presistant on NOT giving my son one. I know this has to do with the parents and taking it away at the appropriate time, but I saw a little girl at the store yesterday, who can hold a converstaion with her mom while talking through her binkie. I could not belive that. She was old enough to have a mouth full of teeth and to sit in one of those shopping carts that have the cars in the front for kids to sit it and she had a binkie stuck in her mouth. I personally could not even imagine that being my child. I know I already asked for opinions, but what about this situation? Does it make a parent look bad when they can't recognise that their child does not need that binkie? My husband even said he couldn't believe it...and that was before I even voiced my opinion to him. I also see "stars" with their kids that are older than two with these things in their mouths. WHY???

[ra11en]

I so agree! I was adamant about my daughter never getting one, but she insisted on having one. The nursery in the hospital gave her one against my wishes - OOOOOHHHHH I was so mad. However, it was very useful and it really did soothe her (and us). BUT, I knew she would not be that toddler having to take it out of her mouth to talk to me. I can't stand that! After 6 months, it physically isn't necessary for them if they are given other tools to self soothe. Due to health issues, I postponed breaking our nasty habit until 12 months. I counted down until we finally got a healthy weekend and I refused to backslide. One day - all it took. One rough nap and maybe a tad cranky that day, but otherwise she handled it fine. I think it was harder on mom and dad to learn new ways of soothing her instead of popping that in her mouth.

Be prepared to let your baby have one if it ends up being most useful as it was in our case, but you are so right - THEY DONT NEED BINKIES FOREVER!! They adapt amazingly well.

[biddles]

I think it's wonderful if your children never had binkies, or other people weaned their children off of theirs very early, but since each situation and child is different I think that it would be hard to judge what is right for that child and his parents, especially by merely passing them in a store. I have three children. My first used a binkie for a short time, a few months at most. My second is 21 months old and still uses his for nap and bed time, and my third is 7 months old and has never used one. A pacifier is just an attachment like a blankie or teddy bear, a way to soothe themselves, a familiar object. Most children will slowly give up their need for one on their own when they find they are too busy to use one anyways.

[myboysmom]

Mommy2Be, you must have been at the same store as me! LOL I was just telling my grandmother that I was shopping on Saturday and saw a girl who had to be 3 years old walking with her mom and gma, and talking through the pacifier! Now, biddles, I don't have anything against a security item, or even having a pacifier at nap time/bed time. 21 months is still pretty young. But my 2 1/2 yr old sucks his thumb (much as I wish he didn't) and I make him take it out to talk to me.

[biddles]

Knowing your child and your own parenting ethics are the best way to guage how to handle pacifier use, or any other issue really. What is best for one child may not always work with another. If the parents are happy, the child is happy and developing normally, then that should really be the only concern. And besides, for all we know, it could have been a really stressful day for the parents and their daughter and they resorted to the bink just to make it home. I know I've resorted to sticky sweet treats just to keep me (and my kids) from losing my mind on a day out running errands :)

"Know when to pull the plug. Most kids stop using pacifiers on their own between ages 2 and 4. If you're concerned about your child's pacifier use, consult his or her doctor for suggestions." www.mayoclinic.com/health/pacifiers/PR00067

[littleboyblue]

MY son never used a pacifier simply because I didn't want to have to go through the process of taking it away. To each his own, but what does still using a pacifier at two three and four years old doing to their teeth?

[biddles]

"Prolonged pacifier use may lead to dental problems. Normal pacifier use during the first few years of life doesn't cause long-term dental problems. If your child continues to use a pacifier persistently, however, his or her top front teeth may slant out or the upper and lower jaws may be misaligned."
www.mayoclinic.com/health/pacifiers/PR00067

"The bottom line
The decision to use a pacifier — or not — is up to you. Let go of any guilt or pressure as you learn what works best for your baby."
www.mayoclinic.com/health/pacifiers/PR00067

I've looked at other reputable sites and they are in agreement w/ these statements that the Mayo Clinic recommends.

Hope everything works out well for all who are struggling over the 'pacifier' issue :)

[MomofBrendy]

Ok yeah that is a bit too long in my opinion to hold onto the "binkie". I am considering getting my son off his. We only use it for naps and bedtime. But I don't want it to be a crutch for him. They are helpful in soothing babies but there comes a time when you have to say, "ok enough". Doesn't that kind of go along with learning how to self sooth? You don't see adults walking around with them :)

[Mom2BoysBH]

I think we need to separate the issues here, appropriate pacifier use and dependency or whatever we want to call it. I always get a little bit frustrated when people act like pacifiers are always a bad thing. I had oversupply issues and one of the things I learned to do was to use a pacifier, I did it instinctively and then when I finally figured out what was going on with us I read that pacifiers were actually recommended. That said, both of my boys gave them up around 10 months. I think part of that is that we didn't use them constantly. I see parents who will pop them in a child's mouth when the child is perfectly content without it. I think that's where you begin to cultivate a situation where the child then thinks s/he does need it at all times.

[autymsmommy]

Ok, so sue me, my daughter is 6 years old and JUST got off of her paci, oh about a week ago. Why? Well like some of you have stated, every child is different. She had been off of it for months by the time she was 4, then she got sick and had to be hospitalized, nothing seemed to comfort her, she was isolated and in the pediatric intensive care unit for over a week, so I brought her a paci. Did I know it would be going completely backwards considering how far we had gotten with the issue, yes. But at the time, all I cared about was comforting her. Due to that illness she now how has chronic health problems, and that means frequent hospital stays, and uncomfortable regimes of medication at home (that sometimes take up to an hour a night to get through). Even her pediatrician agreed. It was her choice to put her paci, last week, in a special bear she got to design at Build a Bear. I decided that even though I wanted to treat as a normal child and not pity her, I absolutely could not take away the one thing that gave her comfort when nothing else seemed to. Just I made the conscious decision that I will deal with her later dental problems when the time comes. Given, some parents let their child have a paci when they're older just to get them to be quiet, but please remember, the next time you judge another parent's way of parenting, that there are two sides to every story, and that it is not up to any one parent to judge what work for another's family.

[busymamaof3]

all three of my children have had binkis and my two older children, now 2 and 3 years old were off of theirs just fine at 16 and 21months old(he did hold it in his hands for compfort for another 8 months). Because they were born so close together I didn't take the eldest binki away sooner because I didn't want him to take it out on the new baby but when we went on a long road trip and conviently left the binkis at my sisters house the were fine and didn't cry for them again. their teeth are just fine enen though they cut teeth at 3 and 4 months old, their dentist said that their teeth are just fine.
I really pushed the binki with all of my babies because of the benifits against sids and I loved nursing but with three children under age three I didn't have time to be a binki all day. My mom is a midwife and she encourages and gave everyone of her 8 children one.

[Singswt7]

I think it is a child to child basis. My son personally isn't much interested in his pacifier and can self soothe most of the time without it. I do think that before preschool (between 2 1/2 and 3) it should be take away but I wouldn't worry much before then. I was a kid who would freak out because I didn't have it. It actually made my teeth all crooked and I had to get a spacer when I was four to fix it. The only way my mom could break me of the habit was to duct tape the pacifier to my favorite teddy bear enough that I could feel and smell it but not put it in my mouth. I would rather give my son a pacifier that you can take away to break the habit than them use their thumb( hard to take away that) I have known people who kept sucking their thumb all the way to high school.

[rmschmitt49]

I'll let my 2 year old scream the whole time he's in the grocery store next time, just in case someone who's against pacifiers is there and writes a post about me!!!!
Child by child, what works works, don't judge others just by passing them in a store. Did the child just wake up before mom had to run errands, was mom runnning late for child's nap time?? Was child just having a very bad day? Do you know if the child was sick? no, you don't know
so please don't judge

[kfiedler]

Okay i am going to be honest. Kids in the store older then 2 should not have a paci, there are other ways, if they act up you take them to the car (as hard as it is, leaving everything) for a time out. My daughter is 3 and uses it only for sleeping, she knows that it does not leave her room. I do however like the idea of puting it in a bear. I just have one question do you think they will try to ripe the bear apart because she knows its in there. As far as medical issuse give your child what sooths them most, they've been through enough.