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arielalena07
04-01-2008, 12:34 AM
Ok So Hear Is The Deal I Am A Young Mom (17) And Have 2 Beautiful Baby Girls And My Boyfriend Is 20 Well His Mom Controlls Him So Much They Dont Let Him Do Anythin Like Make His Mistakes For Himself That Way He Can Learn It Drives Me Crazy When She Call And Checks Up On Him I Dont Even Do That And Can U Tell Me If This Is Messed Up She Calls Me To Check Up On Him To See How He Is Doin At Work But U Think She Would Be Callin Me To Ask How The Babies Are Doin But Does Even Ask? And She Even Tells Him What To Do With He Money Come On Is This To Much Or What?
I Tell Him But He Wont Listen He Is Little By Little But Then She Tells Him Somethin And The There He Goes Again Listen To His Mom So Can Someone Tell Me What To Do?o Does Someone Have The Same Problems?

Lady Cathleen
04-01-2008, 01:06 AM
No, I do not have the same situation. However, I do have a mother in law from HELL. I do know that it is really hard to have a boyfriend or husband that is a Mama's boy which it sounds like he is.

The most important thing here obviously is the children, is he a good dad and wants to make this family work? If so, you need to sit down with him and talk to him. Let him know the concerns and explain how it makes you feel.

The bottom line is sweetie and this is so VERY important.
"This is your family, these are your children...Both of yours. The four of you make up your family...she should not be what is concerning you. Let her act any way she wants. Your priority is your family. Do whatever it takes to take care of your family and get stable on your own"

I know it may be hard, your young and it is hard not to have the money etc...do whatever you need to, to get on your feet.

I hope that it works out with your boyfriend/husband and that he chooses to let his mom just be his mom and stop running his life.

haleymom07
04-01-2008, 01:09 AM
i had the same problem with my husband at first i just told him he has a new role as a dad. hes still her son but thats on the back burner first and foremost hes a dad. tell him that he needs to start acting like one. i would say to his mom when she calls you that what he does at work is his business and that you dont know(in a really nice voice, that will make her even more mad) and then just start telling her about the kids.good luck

autymsmommy
04-01-2008, 02:36 PM
Sweetie, I have been in your situation. And always will be. I was 16 when I had my daughter. I'm 23 now, and my daughter is a beautiful, bright 6 year old. You will always be a young mother, and will always be seen as such. So let's be fair here. YOUR parents more than likely annoy your boyfriend as much as his mother annoys you. Try to put yourself in his mother's shoes. Your babies father is her son. HER baby. And the only way for you to get through this is to realize that you will never change her or him. All that matters is the way YOU react to the situation. Start acting like the young lady you are. Trust me, I know how hard it is. But everyone is going to treat you and your boyfriend as the children you legally still are unless you show them otherwise, and that takes patience and maturity beyond your age, on your part. Parents in this situation need to be dealt with the same as you deal with your children - distractraction from the subject or object you don't want broached, and consistancy. So the next time she calls you to check on your boyfriend and doesn't ask about the kids, say something like "Oh he's great! and little Sarah and Beth are awesome too. Sarah just said her first word! I know they'd love to see you, why not stop by for dinner sometime? I'll cook!" Distract and Conquer! Kill her with kindness. Good Luck!