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View Full Version : Paternal Gparents home a health risk?



dulcet_tones82
03-13-2009, 05:36 AM
I'm currently pregnant with our first child, a boy, and I have some concerns about taking him to my In Laws house once he arrives. Don't get me wrong, I love my husbands parents - they are great people and do anything and everything they can to help us - but the cleanliness of their house has me concerned with taking my child into that environment.

The house is older and collects cobwebs in corners very easily - in fact it's possible that some of those cobwebs are older than me. The front porch is falling through, literally. They have four small dogs inside the residence that have the run of the house, using it as both bathroom and playground - they don't know the meaning of the word 'down' and my in-laws won't make them get down when they jump on your lap and start licking you to death, even getting semi offended if you repremand the dogs yourself. My MIL is somewhat of a pack-rat, purchasing things that she thinks someone-anyone- might have use for in the next five years from the mission (sort of like the salvation army or goodwill) and piling it on one of the many couches they have in the living room (see - she's got her heart in the right place and is always thinking of other people! She just doesn't like to throw anything away.) And that's just the living room. My husband and I have been married for going on four years now and I still haven't been able to traverse through the living room to other parts of the house - though I think I'm somewhat afraid of attempting that feet. *L*

Here's my problem though, how should I approach my husband with this without offending him? His parents live very close by - his dad even passes our house on a daily basis on his way to and from work and then when they are on their way to and from church on Wednesdays and Sundays. Or am I just overreacting and worrying about nothing? My house isn't perfectly clean, and we have two dogs as well, though they are inside/outside and listen to simple commands (such as 'down' or 'under the table') when given. What do you all think?

c_helwig89
03-13-2009, 10:03 AM
I was in a similar situation...

My SO's parents smoke, and their house isn't ventilated well- it doesn't help that the center room is the room they're mostly in, and that they don't open windows or anything very often, so the smoke just piles up and everything smells of it, not to mention the smoke dust and the smoke in the air, blah blah blah.

First off, he needs to be on the same page with you to get anywhere. I fought long and hard with Nate about this, but eventually he realized that if we reek of smoke after we leave, and if we're that bothered by the smell & the smoke in the air, then our baby will be 10x more affected. I brought it up to him saying something about, "You know I love your parents, but the smoke bothers me a lot and I know it's really going to bother our baby..." Once he quit thinking that I hated his family (which really ended up being what we were fighting over) he quickly realized that all of that smoke would bother her- and he told his parents that. He told them that he wouldn't be bringing her over until they quit smoking. I was so relieved that he had to be the bad guy, not me. Eventually they couldn't quit smoking, but have cut down a lot, and now we call them a couple hours before we come over so they give the house a while to air out- and we never stay long.

Anyway, just say something to him about all of that odor and everything else is really bad for a baby. If you're not too far along, you can just plant seeds of doubt for now and keep working on them. Keep saying things like that- all of the dust & spiderwebs in the air isn't going to be good for the baby at all! Neither will the dogs jumping on him, or the dog potty smell... etc

I also was over dramatic about the smoke bothering me when I was there & pregnant- it really did make me gag and whatnot, but I made sure he knew it. So you could always resort to that. :-)

kare.bear
03-13-2009, 10:23 AM
My DH grandparents are like that, but I'm not too worried...I can just let them know that we don't want to disturb them because the house isn't baby proofed and the baby will destroy EVERYTHING! If we stop by, it'll just be for a few minutes at a time (which will only prove my point), and then we'll leave so we don't have to apologize for anything broken... They will always be welcome to stop by our house where the baby has semi-free rein and we can be more relaxed about letting her wander around without destruction following every step. I have a feeling that they will appreciate it...They have so many piles and nick nacks and things to sort that a baby would only knock over, tear, drool on, spit up on, or break....That way, it's about me not wanting to disturb them and not about the state of their home... :)