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View Full Version : Extended for 'It's not Fair' & Need Help



alyons2006
03-07-2009, 11:25 PM
Argg! Just what I need before bed.
I just got done with a crying argument with my DH.
It's not fair..........
DH is enrolled in a full-time community college; he goes to school M-TH from appx 8a-12:20p. He gets up at 5-6:30 depending on what time his classes start. He also takes the bus and walks 7 blocks one way to catch it from home. I feel for him totally. He is in networking and needs to concentrate and study. We have a new bab boy, 3 months, who thankfully sleeps all night. BUT on "school" nights it's mommy's job to do "morning duty" of change diaper and feed baby and put him back to sleep for a few more hours (sometimes he sleeps more, sometimes not.) However on the "weekends" TH-Sat nights are DH's nights. Conveniently he is usually and misteriously too ill to get up and take care of our son. It's irritating because his schooling is so important to me that no matter how crappy I feel during the week, my a$$ is up and feeding my child, but it is just SOOO bloody freakin convenient for him to make me do it.

On top of it all, my baby sleeps all night from appx 9p-5:30/6a which I am totally thankful for. But it is totally unfair that I have to have insomnia. I can't sleep at night or I wake up at the slightest sound, not always the baby either, and then I can't go back to sleep. I can't take medications because I need to be focused to take care of my bundle of joy when my hubby won't.

And the icing on that cake has to be that even when it is HIS night and he can take care of our DS I still have to wake him up because he is a retired USAF mechanic and can sleep through jet engines going off. So no matter what I am up 7 days a week.

IT'S NOT FAIR THAT I AM SO UNDER-APPRECIATED FOR THE WHOLE THING TOO!
I would never blame my son or ever regret having a child, but my DH could show me more grattitude or at least express his feelings towards my DS more.

I know men don't like to show emotion, esp in front of their friends, but behind closed doors when he can make me weak at the knees with his love ballads, why can't he show appreciation and show his emotion for his DS. Sometimes i feel like a single parent and my DH is just a babysitter. He comes to be for EVERYTHING on what to do when my DS cries and can't even remember how much formula/cereal combination to give him in a bottle....and it's mommy to the rescue AGAIN.

I was a SAHM until yesterday. I am getting a PT job at Wendy's...whooohoo right? But we need money. What the heck am I going to do? I'm setting my sched so DH can watch DS while I work.

It's also not fair that my parents are seperated and already have their own BF/GF...but on top of it they put me in the middle of their problems/stress and actually FIGHT over my DS. Screw me...they just want the baby and neither party wants to "bump" into the other. So it's not fair that I have to coordinate schedules for them because they/re too childish to work out their differences.

We just bought a new house and half of our stuff is still in boxes. When my DH comes home from school sometimes he asks me why I didn't do anything today...usually it's on a bad day when my DS is uncalmably (i made that word up) fussy. I think he's begin to go through the teething process....eating fist all the time, excessive drooling, shoves binky to one side or another and just chews...classic signs. and when he comes home on these days all I want is a break and possibly a 3 hr long shower....ok 30 min if I'm lucky.

Sorry to rant so much but I needed to share my problems. And everything is muslitplied because of our finacial struggles.

I have only one GF who has 3 kids and she can't always be there for me....So I feel incredibly lonely in the women department.

Oh yeah, someone mentioned xbox....i wish I could burn every system in our home because during his "free time" i'd much rather him help me entertain our fussy child instead of watching me, worn out and exhausted, while his kills $hit on God of War. I read books and hardly touched the book im reading since I was in the hospital having my son.

Emmy
03-09-2009, 01:00 AM
Sorry to hear of all this. It sounds like you and your husband are still trying to adjust your lifestyles around the new baby. I went through similar experiences with my first baby. My husband just graduated from medical school and was an intern working crazy 80+ hours a week. I also worked full time. My baby was in daycare when I was at work but I was the one to get him ready every morning, dropped him off at daycare, picked him up after work, fed him dinner, got him to bed, and woke up in the middle of the nights when he didn't sleep through the nights yet. It was really tough and I felt a lot of resentment toward my husband. When he was home, he was usually so exhausted from work and/or being on call all night that he would just sleep. On top of that, he had started some projects around the house before we had the baby that he needed to finish during his spare time. Anyway, it was a really difficult time and I look back on it with mixed feelings. I love my son and loved the times I spent with him as a baby, but am also sad my husband didn't get to spend too much time with him as a baby due to his work schedule. Anyway...it will get better for you. I think you need to set some very specific roles and schedules with your husband as to who does what when. Just know that you're not alone and many many women go through the same frustrations that you have.