The "talk"

[autymsmommy]

My 6 year old daughter recently asked me the ever dreaded question "where do babies come from"... I had been dreading the discussion but expecting it. Not expecting however, what came next, because when I replyed with what I thought was an age-appropriate and honest answer she says, "oh I knew that." What it turned out she wanted to know was EXACTLY how to make babies. oh, and my 'favorite' had to be "When can I have a baby". Of course my reply was that when she was a grown-up (mommy would let her know when that was...) and she met a man she loved then she could have a baby. I have very strong personal and relgious beliefs that marriage and love should come first, however, my history doesn't neccesarily support those beliefs, or vice-versa. I got pregnant with my daughter when I was 16 and very unmarried. She was of course quick to point this fact out when we had the "talk". I have tried very hard give us both the life we deserve, and I feel that I have done well in that area- she has never known real 'need' for anything and doesn't want for much, unlike some of my fellow high school classmates that followed suit with an early pregnancy. However, providing her with a good life seems to have slapped me with something unexpected. She is very interested to know why mommy could have a baby before she was grown up, and why can't she? How do I explain to her that she is everything to me, that I would do and have done anything for her, BUT it does not mean I made a wise decision when I was 16? Part of me wants her to know the sacrifices I made for her and how hard I have to work to make her dreams possible so she doesn't think it is okay for her to do the same. But the other part of me just wants her to know that I love her and don't regret a minute that I've had with her. I don't want her to ever feel that she is a burden, but at the same time, I do not want her to travel the same road that I did. This is destroying me in a way that few people could understand. I knew these questions would come one day, but now that they are here, I am at a total loss. If anyone has ANY suggestions I would really appreciate the advice!

[fuzzy]

Well this is a situation that hits home for me;in a sort of way.My Mom had me when she was 16. My mom used to tell me when I would ask her "those questions" me that she didn't neccesary make the right decisions but she fell in love with my father and thought they'd be together forever,when she had me but sometimes mommies and daddies fall out of love with each other especially when your young. It worked for me for a long time, When the teenage years came I have to tell you that I was thinking a little differently, I thought I was in love and was going to be with this guy forever! ( not smart) but,I did and my mom said everything a mother should and I still chose to do what I wanted! I think when it comes to all that stuff ( age appropriate) you should be completely honest! Kids need to know about sex and all the dangers that come with it and when you know it's right and how to protect yourself! Whether we want them to or not they will make their own decisions and I would prefer for my childs decision be an "Educated" one. It's such a hard to decision to make I know cause you almost want to keep your kids away from the big bad world but no matter how hard you try they are so going to be faced with it all when they get in higher grade school and I think that I would want my child getting info from me and his father instead the neighborhood kids!Good Luck!