View Full Version : I need help to help my best friend!
03-25-2008, 11:16 AM
My very best friend in the whole world found out she was pregnant about 3 months after I found out I was pregnant. She called me a couple weeks ago and told me she was having a miscarriage. I don't know if I'm going to hurt her feelings if I give her updates and things like that. She told me to call her after my appointments but I just don't want to hurt her feeelings or make her upset about the miscarriage. She really wanted to be pregnant now. She says she's not really upset about it anymore but I can tell she is still thinking about it alot. What do I do?
03-25-2008, 06:18 PM
My best friend went through the same stuff for the last 5+ years, and now she is finally 6 1/2 months pregnant, the farthest along she's ever been. I've two kids during her going thru IVF and miscarriages, but she's always wanted to know what's going on with me. Now we're both pregnant at the same time. But before she got pregnant, she had to deal with a lot. Her SIL had told her family that she was pregnant at Halloween time 2006. But no one told my BF. She didn't find out until a month later at Thanksgiving. That hurt her feelings more than anything else. I think if you try to spare her feelings by keeping her out of the loop, you'll end up making her feel like a leper. Don't shut her out; she's still happy for you even though she's going through a tough time. The best thing you can do is not dwell too much on your pregnancy or her miscarriage. Talk about it in moderation and listen to her when she wants to talk. It is a very touchy situation. But I think that my BF appreciated the fact that I was about the only person she could be totally honest with about everything and knew I wouldn't walk on eggshells around her. Just be there for her and do what feels right. And, I hope for you friend's sake, that she gets the chance she wants to be a mom!
04-01-2008, 02:59 PM
in my husbands family there are at least 3-4 pregnancies every year! when i was pregnant with my daughter, it just so happened that 2 of his cousins and 1 of his aunts were also pregnant and if you can believe it, we all had the same due date! his cousin Tabatha, who i am very close with, miscarried at 4 months. we were all devestated. but she would always want to know how we were doing, how the pregnancies were going and finally how the babies were. she loved the updates even though she had such a big loss. but now she has a happy healthy and oh so cute 6 month old. so you never know, your b/f might want to know how your doing. test the waters, kinda bring it up in a conversation
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