potty training help!

[Laurap]

My daughter is 3 1/2, she is very smart. She knew her colors, shapes, numbers, even most of the alphabet, by the time she was three. She can tell you what colors to mix to make other colors (red & blue make purple, etc). She will pee on the toilet. That took awhile but she does it. However, I can not get her to poop on the toilet. First she would ask me for a pull up, then go in it, and I would change her and put back on her underwear. After a while I began putting pressure on her to go on the toilet. She wouldn't go at all for a week. I would finally give her a pull up so she wouldn't bind herself up. I have tried bribery with dolls and such. I did get her to go once after sitting in the bathroom for an hour and a half. When she finally went we celebrated and she said "I told you I could do it!". I thought the fight was over, but I was wrong. She wouldn't poop after that. What she does now is go in her sleep. She hasn't pottied while sleeping since she was 18 months old. She hates being in diapers, she would rather wear underwear. I said if she was going to poop while she was sleeping she would have to sleep in one. She cries and promices she won't, but she does. Please help me! I just want her to be potty trained. I am so frustrated I want to cry. Other mothers tell me I am doing something wrong or letting her be in control. Their children have been potty trained since they were two. I just don't know what to do.

[kfiedler]

Laurap I definatly feel your frustration. My dauther will be 3 in june and we had the same issue. Pretty much potty trained but wouldn't poop. We got rid of diapers totally. (except night) Which ment for about a month there were a lot of messes to clean up. We told her she could have popcorn and watch movies, gum, tap shoes if she just pooped on the potty. Nothing seamed to work. Then we started to notice that when she pooped she would just go in another room very quietly. So I kept an eye out for this and everytime she left the room I would sing act goofy while I would bring her to the potty to keep her a little relaxed, and then when she was on the potty we would sing read books. And suddenly it happened, praised her and gave her all the things we promised. Each time taking a little less away. Now each time she goes she gets a jelly bean, and that was only 2 weeks ago! The main thing I realized with my daughter was to keep her relaxed about the whole thing, when she pooped she really didn't even know it because we were having so much fun. Be patient she will come around. I am still not out of the woods yet. But hopefully this will help you.

[nadinep]

My daughter is 2 1/2 and she won't poop in the potty either. Then she got so constipated that I stopped worrying about the whole thing. I just wanted her to go, I didn't care where. I use a diaper for naps and bedtime. My mom says it takes toddlers a while to master the pooping in the potty part.

You could try sitting her on the potty a 1/2 hour after each meal. Talk to her about about making a poop in a patient and fun way. Reward her when she goes.

Don't get frustrated about it. There's much greater things in life to worry about.

[MommaC]

I have a friend who had a very similar situation with her son. He was fine going potty but SO didn't want to poop in the toilet. He also tended to poop during his nap. If she really throws a fit about not wanting a diaper during nap, give her a choice: (1)put the diaper on, or (2)go to the bathroom and poop (when she's done, she can take a nap in her big girl panties). Option 2 might take tremendous patience and throw her schedule off for a bit, but it will be worth it in the end. And giving kids 2 choices lets them feel a bit more in control and less likely to make every little thing a power struggle. Just be sure to make her think you really don't care what she chooses.