Nobody likes me

[lswarbrick]

My 4 year daughter recently tells us that nobody likes her. She usually tells us this when we disapprove of something she just did, and/or at bedtime if we don't stay long enough. How do I combat the negativity? We are usually quite positive to her, and are not sure how to handle this new realm of negative feelings.
Thanks,
Lisa

[DukeNukem]

Instead of immediately scolding your child after they do something wrong, first explain to her specifically why the thing she did was wrong. If your daughter understands why the act she has done is unacceptable it should have a better outcome rather than just saying "We don't do that." and giving her a time-out or something to that effect. I realize that your daughter is only 4, but she still should have the mental capacity to understand something as simple as the underlying reason of why you don't hit people. As for the bedtime situation, try and associate bedtime with something more positive. If every day you read your daughter a story she likes before bed, or some other thing she likes, she wont associate bedtime with bad things, she'll associate it with getting to do something she likes with her parents.

I hope this helps. :)

[BusyMommy3]

Is your DD in school? Sometimes those 'phrases' can come from other children... who may not have such positive parents. Also, in my experience (with elementary age kids) sometimes once they get a reaction from you, they go with it. If she said it the first time and of course you probably tried to reassure her etc, which took away from whatever she did.... why wouldn't she keep saying it? I have a student who's mom cries every time he says 'you hate me'.. So of course that's what he says EVERY time something happens. Just a thought....

I would maybe just simply say... "I don't just like you, I love you more than anything" and move on. You are reassuring her w/out really feeding into anything.

[lswarbrick]

Hi Busy Mommy,
Thanks! I teach too. I love your phrase, "I don't just like you, I love you.." I did feed into it at first reassuring her, now I'm more telling her, we've talked about that and moved on, and now I'm ignoring it more. I'll try the phrase above and move on. Thank you very much for the help.
Lisa