KelEMcE
03-22-2008, 05:43 PM
I don't know if this is the right place for this post, but here goes...
Why is it that we are expected to understand and meet everyone else's needs, without even being told what those needs are, but no one figures out what we need?
I feel like my kids' needs are constant, 24/7, because they've been sick for a week now, with the whining and neediness and clinginess that goes along with being sick and being 3 and 6 - and I am so sick of it I could just scream! Add in my husband, who just got home from a SIX WEEK LONG business trip (yep, 6 weeks with no break, SAHM, kids aren't in school)
Last night, I walked into the family room and started asking my husband a question. This usually thoughful man interrupted me to ask me to bring him a glass of water. What? Are you kidding me? He didn't even notice he'd done it until I pointed it out. Yes, he apologized, but it shouldn't have happened at all!
Today, after spending three hours at the ballet studio today with the girls, I came home and made lunch, played, read, did crafts, set out Easter baskets, cleaned bathrooms, vacuumed, made cookies. He went to Home Depot (alone, because by then the kids were in the tub). When he got home, without listening to hear what was going on, he started calling to me from the mud room - "where's the cat, there's food on the counter, is he getting into it, the cat can't be in the basement because I'm painting", etc - all the while, the kids were screaming at each other about the bathtub toys, I was on the phone and trying to pull sheets off the bed where the cat had gotten his poopy bum (he's too fat to clean it properly), and had left food on the counter because I was making dinner while doing 24 other things - like moms do. And that was the straw that broke the camel's back - walking in and calling for me without even knowing what was going on!!!!!
Then when I pointed out how frustrating it is to be putting out fires all over the place and then having him add to the chaos by shouting up the stairs about the cat (which, by the way, I see why my mom didn't like pets. I LOVED pets before I had kids, but this one came after the kids, and he's so not on my list of priorities), who I certainly would not have put in the basement while he was PAINTING down there (what, am I a masochist? why would I want a paint-y cat???) I got the standard guy apology:
"I am sorry it was frustrating for you, honey. You seem stressed. Figure out what you need and let me know."
ARRGGGHHH!
Am I the only one? I sometimes wish I had boys so I could teach them to apologize properly: "I was a jerk, honey. I'm sorry. You work so hard! How can I make it up to you?"
Thanks for letting me vent. Now I can go finish cooking dinner, filling Easter eggs, cleaning out cabinets and closets because we are moving...and maybe NOT smack my husband!
BTW, he's downstairs wiping the cat's bum and scooping the litter box. Maybe that's even better than an apology...
Why is it that we are expected to understand and meet everyone else's needs, without even being told what those needs are, but no one figures out what we need?
I feel like my kids' needs are constant, 24/7, because they've been sick for a week now, with the whining and neediness and clinginess that goes along with being sick and being 3 and 6 - and I am so sick of it I could just scream! Add in my husband, who just got home from a SIX WEEK LONG business trip (yep, 6 weeks with no break, SAHM, kids aren't in school)
Last night, I walked into the family room and started asking my husband a question. This usually thoughful man interrupted me to ask me to bring him a glass of water. What? Are you kidding me? He didn't even notice he'd done it until I pointed it out. Yes, he apologized, but it shouldn't have happened at all!
Today, after spending three hours at the ballet studio today with the girls, I came home and made lunch, played, read, did crafts, set out Easter baskets, cleaned bathrooms, vacuumed, made cookies. He went to Home Depot (alone, because by then the kids were in the tub). When he got home, without listening to hear what was going on, he started calling to me from the mud room - "where's the cat, there's food on the counter, is he getting into it, the cat can't be in the basement because I'm painting", etc - all the while, the kids were screaming at each other about the bathtub toys, I was on the phone and trying to pull sheets off the bed where the cat had gotten his poopy bum (he's too fat to clean it properly), and had left food on the counter because I was making dinner while doing 24 other things - like moms do. And that was the straw that broke the camel's back - walking in and calling for me without even knowing what was going on!!!!!
Then when I pointed out how frustrating it is to be putting out fires all over the place and then having him add to the chaos by shouting up the stairs about the cat (which, by the way, I see why my mom didn't like pets. I LOVED pets before I had kids, but this one came after the kids, and he's so not on my list of priorities), who I certainly would not have put in the basement while he was PAINTING down there (what, am I a masochist? why would I want a paint-y cat???) I got the standard guy apology:
"I am sorry it was frustrating for you, honey. You seem stressed. Figure out what you need and let me know."
ARRGGGHHH!
Am I the only one? I sometimes wish I had boys so I could teach them to apologize properly: "I was a jerk, honey. I'm sorry. You work so hard! How can I make it up to you?"
Thanks for letting me vent. Now I can go finish cooking dinner, filling Easter eggs, cleaning out cabinets and closets because we are moving...and maybe NOT smack my husband!
BTW, he's downstairs wiping the cat's bum and scooping the litter box. Maybe that's even better than an apology...