Problems with teachers and coaches

[Casalinga]

The other thread about having problems with teachers really got me thinking.

What do you do when you have a big problem with a teacher or coach? How do you handle it? Is it ever appropriate to have use heated words? (I'm not saying it isn't - but at what point should that happen?)


How do you make your case? Who do you talk to first? What do you do if no one seems to listen?

[KelEMcE]

As a former teacher, I think the first thing to do is bring your concerns directly to the person you have the problem with - the teacher or coach - unless, of course, there is highly inappropriate behavior, and then that person's supervisor needs to be involved immediately. A lot of things are merely miscommunication. If that doesn't solve the problem, then by all means parents should go up the chain of command - to the principal or league administrator. Those people are there to help! It's their job to mediate and get involved. If that doesn't bring satisfaction, go to the district's area superintendant or your local school board member (school board members are elected and want to be RE-elected, remember!) with your concerns. Follow it all the way up to the district superintendant if necessary.

In all cases, I would allow 24 school hours for a response, at least a preliminary response.

I think too many parents are sort of afraid to question the school's authority - I don't know if that's just my misperception, or if people feel uncomfortable going to the principal's office! There are teachers who take our their anger at parents on kids, but I think they are few and far between - but I think some parents are afraid to be labeled "problem parents". The real problem is not advocating for our kids. If done respectfully, it should never be a problem. I teach my kids (and my students) that we can say ANYTHING to ANYONE in an appropriate manner and get our point across. It also helps if you know "school lingo", I think.

I remember reading about a case in Philadelphia a few years ago where a six year old boy was raped by another student in a school bathroom. He told his teacher, who told the principal, who notified the parents but not the police.Two more boys were raped before the last boy's parents called police. In all cases, the paper reported that the principal didn't contact the police. That's horrible and he should be in jail, but what about those boys' parents? Why didn't THEY call the police when their children were assaulted???

I have a really good relationship with my kids' teachers and coaches. I thank them for their hard work, I bring them small gifts of appreciaton, I love being the room mom and the chaperone and will volunteer for anything they need. And I think that really helps foster good communication between home and school/activities.

[Kathygreen8888]

SImilar to the previous post, why not set up a meeting or appointment with a teacher or coach about you and your child's problems. Maybe you can work somehting out with the teachers of coaches. In the meantime, you might want to consider visiting this incredible website called Nogginpower2. It provides you some of the information on Getting Great Grades, Discipline, Making New Friends and Better Social Skills. These articles on Nogginpower2 can thus help you understand you and your child's need and concerns, in terms of the issues you have with your teachers or coaches. I hope this helps. Thank yoU and good luck.

[MommaC]

Yep--I think you should go to the teacher/coach first. And don't be huffy about it. Be as sweet as you can be, because they'll be more likely to work with you if they don't feel criticized or undermined. If you repeatedly try working with the teacher/coach to no avail, go to the prinicipal. If no ground is being gained and you have a very legitimate problem, go directly to the school superintendant. Honestly, I don't think there's an appropriate time for a tantrum. Always be in control and above reproach.

[War_Eagle]

The other thread about having problems with teachers really got me thinking.

What do you do when you have a big problem with a teacher or coach? How do you handle it? Is it ever appropriate to have use heated words? (I'm not saying it isn't - but at what point should that happen?)


How do you make your case? Who do you talk to first? What do you do if no one seems to listen?

I taught history at the high school level for several years and coached baseball and football.

First, don't let your instinct to stick up for your child make you biased. Be open to the possibility that your child may be responsible or partly responsible.

Second, document everything.

Third, although most teacher are professional, remember that anything you say to the teacher spoken in anger may come back to haunt your child. Sad to say, I did witness a teacher punish a student because he had a feud with the student's father.

Besides just being the right way to behave, being polite and respectful will always get you further than being rude and angry.

Fourth, if you don't feel it can be resolved between the two of you, don't be afraid to go to his superior or department head.

I can't speak for all teachers or coaches, but I always welcomed input from parents, even when it was negative.