help step son terror

[billsgirl]

hello i got married in march of 08' and i have a new stepson he is 3 turning 4 in may. I dont know what to do about his issues. His dad has custody of him and his mother doesnt come around. His dad has adhd and his mom has bi-polar. His anger and moods change in an instant. I have another son 11 months old and im 7 months pregant. I have tried every displine i could think of and it doesnt work. I need help before the baby comes. If he doesnt get his way he sets and screams and throws toys.I'm afraid that he'll accidently throw a toy at the new baby.The next minute he is as sweet as pie. When his dad gets home he gets worse than ever where his dad can not control him anymore. Does he have adhd or bi-polar every one had told me that the school has to determine if he does or not. Which doesnt seem right at all. My husband takes medicines for his adhd and i dont know about the mom. Im new at this post thing so please help me. im so stressed i ran out of ideas.

[crazy2990]

First you can have him tested. Find a good doctor and go through the steps. You do not want to have him medicated if he really doesnt need it. Next I would tell you to be very consistent. Let him cry for hours if thats what it takes to keep him in timeout ( or bed or whatever) He just needs to know you will not give up no matter how tired you are. I am sorry you are having to go through this. But just be thankful he is only 3 and you still have time to mold him.

[goodmomgoincrazy]

hello,
I have a similar situation, my stepson is 6 and has ADHD and I have a 2 1/2 year old who is starting to act the way his brother does. My stepson has been on medication for about two months and has shown great improvement in that short time. It is taking a little while to make sure that they have him on the correct medication but we are on the right track. All I can say is that I was where you are and I didn't think I would make it but I did and my husband and I are in a much better place as well as when my stepson comes to visit he is not constantly getting yelled at or put in a time out. I hope my story will help you or others in this situation. Hang on you'll be ok.

[Saphira]

He needs a doctor to establish his behavioral problems. I mean, it's likely he got something since both his mom and his dad have something... But I doubt a school would be much help. And he won't be in school 'til he's 5 or 6. So I'd get him to a doctor NOW to test him before baby gets there. And I don't agree with meds... if there's an alternative I'd take it.

But crazy is right. At least you got him this young and now you can mold him into a better person.

I'd let him cry it out, pout it out, scream it out, whatever. He needs to learn you're not gonna back down no matter what. Hope it all gets better soon!