bed time

[philr85]

ok im new to this only 2 yrs fathering my 2yr old boy doesnt like to go to bed i have to figh with him and make him lay down i like forhim tobe in bed around 9 10 latest but sometimes it is so frustrating

he also doesnt listen tome or his mom he has a 1 yr old brother and he tends to be mean to him how can i get him to listen to me

[eldyahna]

Well from my own experience (i'm pretty new to this as well) I have an 18 month old little boy, stubborn as both of his parents... About a month ago he started seriously fighting me when I would try to rock him to sleep. I was at a loss, I had rocked him since birth but his dad/my husband let him just crawl around on our bed until he fell asleep then put him in his bed. I do shift work and we were putting him to bed 2 different ways, bad for a toddler because they need consistency, routine etc... So I decided that no matter what else we did differently bed time had to be the same and I have enforced the whole bath, book and bed routine... He gets a bath, I pull him up to our bed for story time, after a few short books I say its night night time and we walk to his crib around 8pm where I set him in there say night night again and he lays down and i stay there till he falls asleep. We havent gotten to the point of not being in there with him when he falls asleep yet, but I have been moving closer and closer to the door while he falls asleep on his own. Lo and Behold he hasnt fought bedtime since about a week into doing this. I'm not say this will work for your son, but a predictable bedtime routine will do wonders.
The being mean to his younger sibling could easily be jelousy, even though there are 2 of them and sooo close together, they still need one on one time with each parent, take him to a park by himself, then on another day take his younger brother, and let the older have mommy time and the younger have daddy time. Even though mine is an only child right now, he gets very fussy and clingy if he doesnt get mommy time in or daddy time in, which means the dishes stay in the sink until I have spent time with him first, if i try to do the dishes first i have a crying baby clinging to my pants. Though i have recently found if I let him stand on a chair in front of the sink while I do dishes, he has fun splashing in the water and playing with bubbles and I get the dishes done...
Something I once thought makes a lot of sense, no one remembers what was done for them as a kid, but everyone remembers what was done with them.
Get the older one involved in "helping" or at least pretending to, if they share bathtime, try to seperate their bathtimes, it makes for great one on one time with each of them. Granted it uses more water and time but give it a try, it might be worth it. Don't expect to see changes overnight, use 2 weeks as a rule, most people including little ones will change within 2 weeks or a little longer, so give each change at least that long to have an affect on them, and dont change everything at once, its tempting to do so, but a little overwhelming for people just beginning to understand the world a little.... Wow I wrote a lot more than I thought, I hope some of this helps you out

[mum2004]

Hi.. that is absolutley normal!!! Kids at this age are scared to miss something...they want to explore the world:) and all of a sudden they have to go to bed.
Is he still taking a nap?
I think he isnt tired at all...why dont you let him stay up? That is the easiest way to avoid nasty fights between you both.
We dont have bedtimes here..my son is 4 years old now and he is allowed to stay up as long as he wants...under the week,when it is kindergarten time, he goes to bed at 8 pm, all by himself!!!
At the weekend, he normally stays up until 10 oder even 11 pm.
If parents take their children to bed although they are not tired they`ll never learn when they are tired.
And: NO tv before bedtime (at least 2 hours).

[Kayleesmom]

Hi philr85, I just noticed this was your first post, and wanted to welcome you to the forums. We are always happy to see more Dads on here. It is a great site to get info/help/support from moms and other dads. I also wanted to let you know that there is a "Dad to Dad" section if you want to check it out.