Frustrated :(

[Taera441]

I'm a mother of 2 beautiful children, a little girl 4 months and a 7 year old boy. Since giving birth to my daughter, my 7 year old has been experiencing behavior problems in school, from not listening to the teacher to fighting! I love my son so much and have been working closely with his grade one teacher in trying to fix this problem, but it just seems like its getting worse! I'm consistent with punishment at home, such as taking privileges away and time outs! Then the next day at school, he's back to the same defiant behavior again! I was wondering if anyone has any advice,suggestions, or any books that would be helpful with this matter, please let me know! Could this be just a ploy to get my attention? Please help!

[lrbizeebee]

You should try posing your question to a woman named "The Schoolmarm" at www.bingnote.com. She writes articles and gives lots of wonderful advice to moms with children. I would highly recommend her. I actually just went to the bing note site and here's a link to one of her blogs: http://www.bingnote.com/blog/parents-encourage-your-kids
Good luck!

[autymsmommy]

Assuming that his behaviour is just a "ploy for your attention" is underestimating his feelings. You are more than likely right when assuming the underlying factor in his new problems is his new little sister, but his feelings probably go much deeper than just trying to get your attention. It sounds to me like he is acting out his frustration at not being the center of your world in the only way he may know how. 7 year olds are still just learning how to express their feelings. Encourage him to use his words with you, and try talking to him one-on-one, say at bedtime when it's just the two of you, without sounding accusatory. And this may sound odd, but how about NOT punishing him for his outbursts. Instead try saying something like " Wow, from what your teacher told me today, you must have had a rough day, I'm here if you want to talk about it ", give him a kiss and go about your business, then maybe he will feel that you are making yourself more accessible, and that you understand and care about his feelings. Even if it is just a ploy for attention, there's a reason behind it and you want him to feel he talk to you about it. Besides, punishing him for that behaviour is GIVING him attention, so in the end he's getting what he was aiming at. Just a thought though. Good Luck!