Very concerned about daycare

[ldinsmore]

I feel that my 15 mo. old is not getting the stability and discipline that he needs. For the last few months when I pick him up he fight me putting on his jacket, cries most of the way home. When we get home every thing is no, pointing a finger, back into the biting thing, where he was not doing it for along time.If you say no or take some thing away that he shouldn't have he screams and cries. I have told them that I want him to have 2 naps a day, most of the time I don't think he gets the 2nd one.
So when I try to set rules, it's worthless. My thought of day care is to have play time but to also make them learn right from wrong yes from no? Not just play time all day and when he fusses give him something to drink or eat. I have him on a list for another day care that I have heard very good things about. I have now her almost all of our lives, she teachers alot of thing to older kids to get them ready for kindergarden. With the young ones very seldom is there any fussing among them. When I spoke to her she said that she was fairly strict. If I can get him in there part time (now) before full time(which will be this summer) and having my neice watch him 2 days aweek, which she would take him to the library and to other play groups in town. I know that he needs consistency, but he also need structure. Alot of this started when he started getting around alot better and having to inter act with the other children.
I am very torn about this decision, any advice or words of wisdom would be kindly excepted. I just want what is best for my son now and in the long run. I think that he's unhappy there because for the most part he was always happy when I picked him up before.

[mum2004]

a 15 month old child doesnt need discipline!!!! He needs an understanding an loving mother!! The way your child behaves is quite normal. He recognizes (sorry for that wrong written word) that he has an OWN will;)
And he loves the daycare...so be glad!!!
My son was in a daycare too when he was 1 years old and there was a time when he also did not want to go home...so i had to stay there a little bit longer until he was ready to go.
Whats the problem?
And NO fussing under children? Sorry but there is something WRONG!! fussing children are normal! Everything else is DRILLED!!! Of course, it is more easier to drill a child so it acts the way I want!! The more pedagocical way is to let them tell us what they feel and what they really want.
If you never give your child the opportunity to fuss aso, then he will be a perfect victim for abuse aso. Because he never learnt to open his mouth! Think about it...

[djasinski]

ldinsmore: I have a 2yr old who up until she was 20 mths old was watched by her grandmother. There was no structure- no schedule- and my daughter got what she wanted all the time. I starting staying home with her when she was about 20 mths old and there IS structure- there IS a schedule- and she does NOT always get what she wants. And now she is a wonderful, well mannered 2 yr old. If there is no structure now I feel like it will be harder when she is older. Personally that is just how I feel. I am not saying my daughter never throws a tantrum or anything but she knows what behavior is acceptable and what is not. Ask anyone around us she is one of the happiest kids you will meet (even with structure). If you don't feel like the current daycare is doing for your toddler what you want then I say find a daycare that does. You have the right (even though you are a working mom) to see that your child is getting what you want out of his day. Hope this helps.

[parentcircle]

Sometimes I am so afraid of daycare. I think ours is good,but then you here other stuff and you wonder....this one had me freaked out the other day:

http://parentcircle.ning.com/profiles/blogs/child-abuse-in-childcare

Then there was the story on the news about the kid who died at daycare....I don't even know how to process it sometimes!