Worried working mom

[MarcelosMom]

I just found out that I am pregnant with baby number two. My son, Marcelo, is 16-months old. A big part of me wanted a second baby, although, perhaps this is a bit soon after the first but oh well. My only concern was, and still is, the logistics...any one have stories about obsessing over everything...trying to figure everything out in advance? I always try to do this, I always try to figure out how to make things work smoothly but I can't now. I am in over my head. I can't figure out how this will work and I am scared.

[kelly23]

I found out I was pregnant again when my son was about 13 months old so I know what you're going through. I now have a 2 year old and a 3 month old. We moved in with my mother in law which has been a big help the first few months, I don't know if you can do that but it is an option. Things won't always run smoothly, but you just have to do one thing at a time. If one is hungry and one is wet, figure out which needs to be taken care of first. Don't force your son into potty training and things like that. Give more info about your son and schedule so we can get more ideas. The biggest thing I've learned is that you just have to do one thing at a time.

[MarcelosMom]

Hi Kelly23,
Hi Kelly23,

Here is what is really bothering me, I think. My job. The hours at my job, specifically...

My son is with family who loves him (my mother in law takes care of him) but I still feel like I am not in his life enough, that he is forgetting me and that now I am bringing a new member into the family who will not spend enough time with me. I am feeling guilty about working. My job keeps me away until 8 pm at night. I don't start work until 11 but still, I am scared that I am doing wrong by him and by my husband because of the hours I must keep.

To top it all off, we have to get out of this neighborhood before the little guy starts school. The schools here are not good for him. So that is the other thing that is driving me nuts, the fact that nothing is settled, every aspect of my life right now is a moving part.

Guess I am not a go with the flow kinda chick, huh... ;)

But seriously, how can I know that I am playing a big enough part in my family's life. How can I know I am THERE enough...the move will only make my commute longer. Ug.

[hld]

Hey MarcelosMom,
I feel your pain. I too work full time and am pregnant with my second. I completely understand the stress and guilt you're feeling. I'm a police officer and so is my husband. We managed to get split shifts, so I work week days and he works weekends. It's not great, but it keeps one of us with our son six days out of the week. The other day my MIL watches our son. With #2 on the way (my son will be 3 in April) I'm completely freaked out about how I'm going to juggle both of them on my own while I'm on FMLA. That being said, kids are resilliant. I do the best to take my son on "dates" every once in a while and on my days off, I spend all day with him. When the new baby comes, I plan on trying to keep up the pattern as best I can. We moved to a new house in September and I thought it would be really difficult for my son, but as it turns out, he thought it was an adventure.
For lack of better advice, take care of yourself. Find some way to stay calm and peaceful within...'cause when momma's not happy, nobody is happy. I hope this helps a little.