Adoption Alternative

[awillis]

I've adopted three adorable children over the past 8 years through...of all places... the Division of Youth and Family services in New Jersey. It required that I become a foster parent by attending a years worth of training and waiting another year for an infant who was not likely to be joined back with their parent. In New Jersey, the law requires a one year time for DYFS to solidify the status of the child before they are released for adoption. It can be nerve racking as you are never sure if the biological parents will shape up and get back into the picture. But you cannot beat the cost. $0 plus the state pays a stipend and health insurance for the child. It's not a money maker, but even normal people with normal incomes can adopt. The 500 pound Gorilla in the room is that by going through DYFS did I have to adopt a child outside my own race? My children are all blond hair blue eyed, but I would have loved them if they were Asian, African, Columbian... it just worked out that way for me. My wife and I did finally have a baby who is now 1 month old... goes to show that there is a plan out there for every one.

I am working on a book about infertility and adoption and I look forward to input from people who have traveled this road as well. Visit me at www.daddysurvivalguide.com

[Mamadecuatro]

Congratulations on your blessings! My husband and I have also adopted, although, we did not get there because of infertility (even though I have had my share of issues! been pregnant seven times, but only two full term pregnancies). I always knew I would adopt, if I ever married. My mother was adopted domestically in the state of Michigan and I guess I had that positive seed planted at an early age. I have two of my four children adopted internationally. It took nine months with our son and eleven with our daughter. We birthed a son, adopted an infant son, adopted a five year old daughter, and then birthed a son! Whew! Its been a long, busy road and my kids are worth every moment.

I love that each one of our children have a story. Its a different kind of pregnancy, but trying just the same. Sometimes more difficult than a physical birth, but absolutely rewarding.

Good luck on your book!

[emersonblue]

Good luck on your book! I have not adopted but I am definitely up for the idea. I think the process is very interesting, since I had no idea what it even entailed! I think adoption is so wonderful and could help so many people. Thank you for sharing your story!

[kartman]

Wow ... I never knew about the complications in adopting! We were considering adopting, before our daughter was born. Willis, thanks for sharing your experience. Good luck with your book.
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