please, i need help!!

[brndalu@yahoo.com]

i have a 5 yr old boy and a 3 yr old girl. my 5 yr old constantly comes to me whining that his sister won't play with him. while, at first, i found this sweet, but it now happens every day. i have tried to explain to him to see if there is something that she wants to play with (she doesn't always want to play star wars, or transformers or superheros) but then he says that she will come into his room and sometimes bring one of her own toys and just play BY him, but then she leaves. he constantly is wanting me to tell her to play with him. WHAT DO I DO? i feel bad that he wants her to play with him and she doesn't, on the other hand, i can understand that she doesn't always want to do the same thing he does and he hardly ever will play with her stuff. how do i teach a 5 yr old to compromise? PLEASE someone help me with this, i've been loosing my patience with this and getting very frustrated, i don't know how to help them.

[flocay]

That's a tough one. Maybe you can come up with a "play together time", a game or activity you do on a regular basis (maybe once a day) where both children have to be involved. That way, you can show your son that there are times where people play together and others when they play alone and that's normal. it's also something to look forward to.
You might also want to check your son's version of his sister coming to his room to play. For her, just sharing the space and being with him may constitute playing with him. That might be all he needs to hear.
Hope this helps!

[MommaC]

Are there neighborhood friends who could serve as a playmate? Are you able to serve as a playmate? Help him learn to take another perspective. Explain you can't "make" her play with him because it just wouldn't be kind. Ask him how he'd feel if you made him play babies with her. Tell him there will be times that he has to play by himself. Help him schedule a playdate with a friend. Help him think of ideas that both he and his sister like: legos, play-doh, coloring, sandbox, etc. If all else fails, try involving him in what you're doing. Regardless of what tactic you try, make a no-whining rule. So many parents think that whining is just part of the package with kids, but it doesn't have to be. Continually remind him to tell you without whining. If he can't fix it, send him to time-out. I've seen it work in other homes (we haven't gotten to that point with our little one yet, but you can bet I won't be able to tolerate whining for long!). Good luck to you!

[4ofus&nomore]

Shew I am glad I am not the onlyone. But my 4 year old does the same toward my 11 year old. She gets home from school and he wants her all to himself star wars, army men, video games, ect... He cries when she gets alone time to just chill from the day at school. So i'll keep a watch on this thread maybe it'll help us both. One day I think we will look back and miss these little spats.

[GreenPixie]

My little brother was like this when we were little. One time he poured a whole jug of orange juice under my door because I wouldn't come out and play with him. (We had hard wood floors. It made a very nice statement.) I'm not sure what to tell you to help your son though. I am an introvert and we need our time alone. And since there are not as many introverts as there are extroverts chances are that we will grow up with at least some family, teachers, or friends who don't really understand that. To this day I would rather play by myself then with most people. Being made to play group activities at day camp or school was always excruciating. You cant force someone to play because play has to be fun. I like the idea of you all playing something together because getting to spend time with you might be reward enough to get her to play something she might not other wise want to play. I also like the idea of finding some boys his own age to play with. He will learn compromise in baby steps that way. They wont always want to play what he wants to play but it will be closer to what he wants to play.

[alex010704]

i have a 5 yr old boy and a 3 yr old girl. my 5 yr old constantly comes to me whining that his sister won't play with him. while, at first, i found this sweet, but it now happens every day. i have tried to explain to him to see if there is something that she wants to play with (she doesn't always want to play star wars, or transformers or superheros) but then he says that she will come into his room and sometimes bring one of her own toys and just play BY him, but then she leaves. he constantly is wanting me to tell her to play with him. WHAT DO I DO? i feel bad that he wants her to play with him and she doesn't, on the other hand, i can understand that she doesn't always want to do the same thing he does and he hardly ever will play with her stuff. how do i teach a 5 yr old to compromise? PLEASE someone help me with this, i've been loosing my patience with this and getting very frustrated, i don't know how to help them.
I have a 5 yr old and 2 1/2 yr old -Alexander & Katie. Katie is at the age where she at first played alongside him but now she plays with him. Alexander gets frustrated because she can't move her Thomas trains fast enough around the table but together we talk about how she's trying and how grateful I am he's being so patient with her. I am able to put both of them in preschool for 2 full days a week so they are able to play with kids their own age. This helps out a lot! Get your older child together with kids his own age for some playdates! Hope this helps. Unfortunately, television doesn't solve the problem.