I NEED HELP!!!! My son wont sleep!

[brayden2006]

Im a mother of two children. I have a 5 year old daughter and a 27 month old son. I dont know why I ever started, but Im TOTALLY REGRETTING it now!!! Ever since I can remember I would let my daughter fall asleep to a movie... it was just easier with a baby around... My son, when he was younger he was awesome about falling asleep in his crib, you would just lay him down and 15 minutes tops, he would be asleep! Well..... I recently decided to put both my children in the same room, (we have a small home right now, so it was better!).... since my daughter was "addicted" to watching movies every night, the TV went in their room! That wasnt even a year ago.... now.... Here I am with a daughter that doesnt go to sleep until LATE (11pm-2am) and a son that is the same!!! Im not AS WORRIED about my daughter... Im worried about her, but not as much, cause she ends up getting her 12 hours of sleep each night... my son on the other hand gets about 8-10 hours and DOESNT take a nap for me at all!!!!! Its gotten sooooo bad that now, poor him, he has dark circles under his eyes... I FEEL LIKE A HORRIBLE MOTHER!!!!! What have I done????? I now realize the problem... I have set up a habit for my children, that for them to be able to sleep they have to watch a movie or two!!! Another thing is.... when I put on movies for my children, my son ALWAYS gets up and outta bed... MANY times!!!! I cant get him to stay in bed or he wont fall asleep watching movies!!!!!! I know that my daughter will be starting kindergarten next year, and that I need to help her out too... maybe I can work with them both at the same time! The only thing is.... I work CRAZY hours at work... I work GRAVEYARD shift... 4pm to 4am on the weekends... so I think its hard for my children and I because of my work schedule!!! I dont know what to do!!!! I really need some kind of support! Some kind of assistance!!!! I dont know what to do anymore!!!!!!!!!! PLEASE GIVE ME ANY SUGGESTIONS OR PLANS THAT YOU MAY HAVE!!!!! Im not the kind of person that asks for help and doesnt take it.... I really need help here!!!! I feel like the worst mother!!!!!!

[eniese]

I would get the TV out of their room for starters. Maybe out of the house altogether for a little while. Next, set up some sort of bedtime routine for them that will be easy for others to follow when you're at work during bedtime. We do bath, books together, 5-10 minutes of "reading" by himself, and then lights out for our 3 year old. Also, put them to bed MUCH earlier (sometime between 7:30 and 8:30) and make your expectations clear. Both of them are old enough to understand that bedtime is time to close your eyes and lay quietly until you fall asleep.

Also, an invaluable sleep resource is "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Marc Weissbluth. Your library might have a copy of it. (It's big, but you can read just the applicable chapters without missing much.)

[MommaC]

Eniese said everything I was thinking! ;) And I second the book recommendation. The easiest way to use the book is to scan the Table of Contents and read all the sections that apply to their ages and their particular sleep problems. However, if you have time, it is a good idea to read the "nonessential" chapters because it explains sleep so well and will help your understand your children better.
I understand your guilt, but let it go. Sure, you've made some mistakes, but you can't change it now. Pick up where you are and be the best mommy you can be right now.
Because their routine is going to be changing, you might need a LONG routine that takes more time and helps get them ready for sleep (just hazarding a guess on that one). Getting them on the same routine is probably best since they sleep in the same room. After supper, they shouldn't engage in anything rambunctious. Keep things calm. They can take a long warm bath. They can sing quiet songs while they get lotion and pajamas. They can snuggle in bed for reading time. A white noise machine (we have the Homedics Sound Spa and love it) and/or a lullaby CD (we like the Parents one from Target $10) might be helpful since they're not accustomed to soothing themselves to sleep in silence. An early bedtime is a great idea. You may even want to shoot for 6:30 or 7:00 in the beginning, because it's likely they'll take a LONG time to go to bed with the new routine (we'll hope not, but it's possible).
Supernanny's book "How to Get the Best from Your Children" by Jo Frost, outlines her bedtime guidelines for routines and for getting kiddos to stay in bed. It's a super easy read...organized for easy reference, beautiful pictures, simple instructions.
So stop beating yourself up. :) Go forward from here and do your very best for your kids. Good luck!