help with a kindergarden teacher

[beckyn3kids]

My oldest son is in Kindergarden this year and is now I would say halfway through the year. I enrolled him into a charter school (public/private school). I thought this would be better for him but I am begining to have my doubts.. First off they have no busses and our car broke down shortly after school enrolled so we pay 30 dollars a month for a service to pick him up and drop him off. They are late 4 out of 5 days a week and we keep getting letters even though we have talked to the principal and he said he understood and it wouldn't be counted against him. Next his teacher repetedly sends me letters about how my son feels left out that HIS mom doesnt volunteer in the classroom (I talked to my son about this and he doesnt seem to mind) volunteering is not an option as I have 2 other small children who are home and no childcare what so ever for them. I explained this to the teacher even telling her about our youngest son being special needs but I still get the letters. Lately my normaly very sweet son has been very rude and mouthy (I want a candy bar for breakfast, my teacher says if you don't feed me you could go to jail). I send his snack everyday making sure it is healthy I recently found out she lets him trade his fruit for chocolate (a treat reserved for special days in our house). He has had bad reports sent home for very trivial things (Gage missed out on being a super kid today as he picked up a worm on the play ground). But the two worst things yet?!: She is pregnant and told him how babies are born a talk I think to be a parents job. Now she is telling me she may hold him back because he is not reading yet, but he (according to their test) has a 4th grade vocabulary, does 1st grade science and 2nd grade math! Now what should I do? Is this a normal kindergarden experience? Should I keep him in the school ( I love what it stands for and they still have a lot of classes other schools around here have taken out Art, Music, Gym etc..) Plus every month the kids have a new moral focus where they learn about being respectful, thankful etc... Sorry to rant but what would you do if this were your child?

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Have you tried talking to the principal? It seems to me you just have a "bad" teacher, not necessarily a bad school. Anyone who would tell a group of kindergarteners how babies are born shouldn't be teaching! Maybe the principal can switch your son to a different kindergarten class. If not, I think I'd tough it out till the end of the school and hope for a better 1st grade experience. If 1st grade starts out bad, then I'd consider a new school. Good luck!

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Also, isn't it at least partially the teacher's fault that your son isn't reading yet. Shouldn't she be putting in extra effort to help him, rather than threatening you with holding him back??

[happy 2BaMom]

I am a first grade teacher at a public school. (BTW I am on my maternity leave, when my students asked me where my baby came from I smiled and said, "Ask your mommy.")

First of all, I know that some charter schools really push for parent involvement. Although, it's not fair that the teacher is really putting on the pressure. If you really feel like you want to help, maybe you could ask if there are any projects that you could take and do at home; like stapling books or cutting things out.

As for his reading issue, talk to the teacher and ask very specific questions. What are his specific difficulties? Letter recognition, letter sounds, blending words together, sight words?? A good teacher should be able to pinpoint specific trouble areas and tell you how she is helping him in class. And once you know his trouble areas you can help him at home. Also, if he does repeat kindergarten what will be done differently next year? If he is taught the same information in the same way it is not going to help him to repeat kindergarten.

Remember, you are the parent and you know your child the best. You can always make sure that you teach him the proper morals, and expose him to music and art. However, you need to make sure that the school that you send him to can teach him how to read, write and do basic math. He needs a good foundation and all the rest will fall into place eventually.

[flocay]

I am sorry to see all this happening to you and your son. I have to tell you that I have heard some very good things about some charter schools but I have also had a very bad experience working in one myself as a teacher. Is there a way you can find info about the school from other parents, or from a forum or a site that assesses schools?
The way Charter Schools work can be very tricky. The school I worked at obviously had a good business plan as it got the charter money and was allowed to open, but was then terribly run. Some teachers were barely qualified and did a very poor job, while there were also very good ones. Some school policies were completely made up and gullible parents felt pressure that shouldn't have been there. Double standards were more than common there too.
Do try to find out more about the school. Remember that there are also very good Public School with a lot more transparency and very clear rules that you can refer to at any time. That can be a very gray area in Charter schools depending on who's in charge and whose interests the school is trying to serve.
Good luck with it anyway!

[MayMommy]

It sounds like you have some real and legitimate concerns. I would advise you to contact the teacher and/or the principal and ask for a meeting. You can choose to approach it a few ways...you can go in to raise a complaint, bring your list of concerns so you don't forget any and let the principal know that you find these things unacceptable. You can also to go into the meeting from the standpoint of..."these are the things that I have had trouble with...and I was hoping you could explain to me your reasoning for doing them..."

However you decide to approach the issue, others here are right...YOU are the parent, the final and most important person in your child's life. You have the right to have the teacher explain her choices and you have the right to ask her to stop activities that you disagree with (such as sending you notes asking for volunteer time and allowing your child to trade snacks).

Good luck.