Feeling a bit down

[JWills]

I am feeling a little bit down, and my hunny doesnt seem to get why. I figure the only ones who would understand are the ladies who have "been there, done that".

I recently gave birth to my beautiful little girl, and I am surprised at how horrfic my body looks. I know, I know. Just give it time. I know that I wont look like I did pre-baby right away. But it still hurts to look at my body and know what it used to be like. I am only 20, and yet I feel like a melting candle. Everything is sliding south. My newly saggy skin doesnt even look like it belongs to me. I look, and more importantly, I feel terrible about myself. I never had the perfect body, and was a teensy bit on the chubby side prior to pregnancy/baby, but I didnt hate myself. I was happy with where I was at. A few years ago, I was 180. Pre baby/pregnancy, I was 150. I gained 50 pounds during pregnancy, and I am down to 184 now. I hate my body now. I want the old me back. I dont see how I can learn to love this disfigured, stretch-marked, saggy me.

to make matters worse, I received sweat pants that looked oh-so-comfy from my mom for christmas. I figured, "hey, I can wear these." Especially since I dont fit in ANY of my pre baby pants. But when i tried on the sweats, the barely fit me (and they are larges!) My upper stomache just hangs over the top of the pants, and my lower stomache has this damn poochie thing that is terribly obvious through any pants. Sweats were always my "fat day" pant of choice, cause everyone has one of those days. It really hurts to know that I can barely fit into something like a freaking pair of sweats. Talk about making me feel a bit like a whale.

My hunny is such a sweetie, telling me that I cant expect to look like what I did before pushing out a baby. I know that, but it still doesnt make me feel any better. All I have to do is look in a mirror and want to cry.

How did you mommies feel about your bodies after baby? And what do you do about shopping (like buy alot of clothes or just enough to make it through till you drop your weight?) I need a shopping spree to make me feel better. I havent shopped for clothes since the beginning of my senior year of high school 3 years ago, except for maternity stuff.

Sorry this turned out to be so long! I just needed to let it all out. I think all of this would have ended up with an "eye roll" from my hunny ;)

[ashdunmire]

I feel for ya! It is hard for us women to look down at the now-jiggly belly and feel anything close to sexy! It took me a year and a half to lose my baby weight, and just when I started to feel good about my body again we decided to have another baby, so I am back on the fatwagon! but I think the most important thing to understand is that men don't look at it the same way we do. Your man most likely thinks you are just as hot, if not more so, than before the baby. They know what you have gone thru and as long as he loves you, that is what matters! I didn't want to buy any new clothes either, until my hubby made me, but I only buy in small amounts, since I never know what my body will do these days!

[eniese]

It's like you're reading my mind! After baby #2, I feel frumpy and big even though my husband assures me it's all in my head. SInce this is my second, I know that eventually I'll be close to my normal size (though your shape may be permanently altered) but that it takes lots of time! I try to focus on the positives-e.g. breastfeeding is the only time I ever have cleavage ;) Also, it helps me to have a few items that really fit me well, so I make sure I buy jeans that I don't have to pour myself into, and a few shirts that can accommodate my new chest size. Just like when you're pregnant, you probably have some items that you can combine with new stuff to make a number of flattering outfits. Clothes that fit well and comfortably (without looking frumpy or like our own mothers') really help ease this transition time.

[bvas81]

I feel ya girl! OMG! IT IS SO NOT FUN WHEN YOUR STOMACH IS HIGH FIVE SLAPPING YOUR LEG!! lol!
i get so grossed out when i look at my gut~ I have 3 year old twins! i still have not managed to loose any weight! but i must admit that i get so bummed out when i look down and my stomach is obstructing my view, and IT IS COMPLETELY MY FAULT! I make horrible decisions. I don't exercise! I'm not a bad eater but i'm not great at eating all the right things. And for some odd reason it's easier to cram my mouth with a bowl of ice cream or chips then lugging my ass to the gym or to the park! I used to walk after i had the boys. We would walk 3 miles (sometimes 6) about 4 days a week. I've fallen off the wagon.... i'm just trying to catch a train now i guess! lol! my husband is so sweet too! one of his friends was horrible to his gf and she doesn't have any kids she's just overweight. When she would get in bed he would tell her stuff like omg, you're going to break the bed you need to loose weight! If one day my husband would tell my some bs like that...... he'd better sleep with one eye open cause i'd slam a pizza in his face! but luckily he doesn't do, say or feel that way! lol!

[NaomiK]

I am 22 and I felt the same way after I had my baby. I still feel bad sometimes. Its been a year and I have lost all but about 10 pounds. I gained 70! I have accepted the fact that my body will never be the same, but its not bad anymore. You are right, give it time. You will be amazed at the difference time makes. I had stretch marks so bad on my stomach and now you can barely see them. Something that really made me feel better was wearing a garter. I still wear one just because I am more comfortable. Many women say it helps your stomach go back faster. I was a size 3 before I got prego. Now I am a 7. I will never be a size three again because now I have hips and boobs! My husband says he thinks I look better now than I did before. Yours prob feels the same way. It takes some getting used to for you. Give youirself some credit! You grew a baby! Not only did you have a baby in there, you had lots of amniotic fluid, a placenta, etc. You lost the weight before, you can do it again!