View Full Version : Soon to be Middle Child
12-13-2008, 09:13 PM
Our family is getting ready for the arrival of a new baby boy. Our soon-to-be middle child is 15, and our oldest is 19 and in college. Our middle child is a very intelligent and independent teen. However, my husband is in the army, and has been overseas, so he missed out on much of her life. Lately, they have been at odds, and she always seems to be upset over something (like him not being there). Surprisingly, she is perfectly understanding of the fact that things will change, and she will lose some attention. Despite this understanding, she is isolating herself, and seems to overreact when her father or I cannot fufuill what we have promised to do on a weekend because we have to continue preparing for the baby. We do not want her to feel forgotten, and can't think of how else to tell her that things will change.
Does anyone have any suggestions?
12-13-2008, 10:51 PM
Keep your promises. You can't expect her to trust you and be happy in her relationship with you if you don't keep your word. Would you do that to anyone else? Teenage girls can be a bit over the top anyway, but I think you're giving her a legitimate reason to have a problem with you guys. If you say you're going to do something, DO IT. If you're not sure you can commit to something, tell her that--she gets it. But she also has needs--so set up a time with her that you CAN do what she's asking you to do. I'm not saying you have to let yourself be manipulated by emotional outbursts or that you have to bow to her every whim. Just demonstrate a little more respect by making some time for her and keeping your word. Let her be a part of the whole baby prep thing, too (if she wants to be). She's nearly an adult, and she's your daughter. Talk to her. Tell her what you're noticing. Ask her how she's feeling. Explain if you can; apologize if you need to. Help her feel that she's been heard, and commit to making whatever changes need to be made. Good luck!
12-13-2008, 10:59 PM
I agree with what MommaC said, if you tell her you are going to do something DO it unless something drastic and huge comes up. She's 15 years old, if you aren't srue you can do something, then tell her. Don't give her false hope.
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