she won't go to sleep by herself

[jaskarjam]

Unfortunately I am to blame for this... I have ALWAYS put my daughter to bed and stayed right by her side or just in her room until she falls asleep. We read books all the time and often I'll stroke her hair or something to help calm her down and soothe her. So now if I leave her to fall asleep by herself she'll come out looking for me or she'll get upset. I even let her watch a movie with the volume down low because she'll sometimes fall asleep watching it - yes, she's got a t.v.and dvd player in her room, not sure if that was a good idea but it hasn't really been a problem. My husband thinks it was ridiculous for me to wait until she falls asleep so he tried to enforce the new rule one night. He just told her to lie down and go to bed and said if she cries she cries and she just has to learn. Of course she cried on and on and would not go to sleep, so I went in her room again. We tried again the next night but, well, needless to say it's not working. Now this makes no sense at all but we BOTH put her to bed and I really don't know what the best way is to handle this. We like this family time we get at the end of the day however it's a habit I need to break. It's not just going to be hard for her but myself as well.

[Hima]

I have to share the same story too...I still put my daughter to sleep. She will be 7 months soon.
I got her used to this, so whenever she is sleepy, she comes looking for me.
My husband gave me the same idea too, but I am not sure if that will help and I know it will end up like your story where she will cry cry and cry and I have to give it in.
Any help here?
On the other hand, she sleeps on her own when she is in the car seat in the car. I guess the rocking puts her to sleep. Needless to say, I rock her to sleep every time.

BTW, how old is your daughter?

[jaskarjam]

Sorry I forgot to mention she's 2 1/2 yrs. old now. I thought that maybe she would fall asleep anyway after all the crying and upset but she didn't ... and it made ME cry I felt so bad. I am not a pushover either. I know that in disciplining your children one should not say one thing and do another. Perhaps this way would work ( letting her cry and not giving in), only... what do you do when your child gets out of bed looking for you and crying for you? My daughter can open the door and come right out! I am kind of avoiding the situation until I figure out a plan hopefully SOON! I am guessing it will be easier for you to break this cycle since your lil one is 7 mos., but what do I know, look at me! I am setting an example of what not to do!

(P.S. It would be wonderful if she'd fall asleep without me because I am a FT student and I'd like to have time to study at the end of the day before I'm completely exhausted!)

[Hima]

I totally understand your pain, being a full time student, I know what you are going through.
I think I should let go of that habit so she can sleep by herself.
I put her in the crib when is sleepy and come out of the room. She is so adamant and clever that she holds on to the crib and looks through the door to see if I am there and starts crying so loudly as if she is in pain.
I feel guilty and go back in and put her to sleep.

I should let her cry it out but I can't see her in that situation.

[jaskarjam]

Oh I know what you're saying! It's heartbreaking! Well, the past 2 nights I've managed to get her to bed minus my husband so we are going back in the right direction, lol, and I am getting her to sleep a little earlier w/o the t.v. on. I think in the next week or so I am going to just keep trying to teach her that she CAN fall asleep on her own and that we are nearby...easier said than done of course. But persistence is going to be the key factor...and patience! I see that it's definitely not going to happen in one night...or maybe not even three nights, but we'll see!