My 4.5 yr old son has possible Aspergers

[lovebeingamom]

Hi,
I am new but am a subscriber to Parenting Mag. My 4.5 yr old son has possible Asperger's Syndrome. He has always been home with me until this Sept. when he started preschool/Nursery a few days a week for a few hours. He displays many traits of children with Aspergers. Lack of focus, skipping and arm flapping. Obsessions with certain things and has trouble socially with other kids. He is smart and is fine with knowledge and language skills and has no trouble with his emotions. The problem is with other kids. He doesn't know how to interact, even though I role play with him and prep him to help him engage. His teacher is very patient with him but he doesn't interact and sometimes disrupts other kids and activities b/c he zones out and paces/skips while flapping his arms and sometimes talks to himself. I thought it was b/c he wasn't used to being in this type of situation (school) and that he would adjust but he isn't. He hates being at school and can't seem to make friends even thought kids seem to like him.
Basically I am looking for anyone who has a child like this to talk to for support. He has an appt with a early education specialist (but not until Feb!!) to get help that way before kindergarden. But I am depressed and upset to see him this way and want to help him and don't know how? :( All my friends/family are supportive but unless they've been there they just don't understand what it feels like to watch your child this way :(
Anyone out there that has a child with Asperger's who can talk tome, I would GREATLY appreciate it :)

THANKS
Cindy

[MommaC]

I don't have a child with Asperger's, but I've worked with kids who have Asperger's. Is he in an early intervention setting, or is it just a regular preschool? Did your doctor refer you for the early ed eval, or did you do it yourself? I know they can get really backed up, but it seems a long time to wait! Chances are that he'll qualify for the early education preschool which means he'll have a teacher who is trained in special education and will have the skills to help him be more successful socially (don't expect overnight advancement...but the support she provides and the techniques she gives him will have long-term rewards). And depending on his level of need, he may get additional social training from a speech-language pathologist (social interaction falls under pragmatics which is a part of language). That's about all I can offer since I haven't been through what you're going through. But I wish you and your son the best!

[lovebeingamom]

Thank you for responding. His preschool and pediatrician told me I should have him evaluated- just so he can get the help if he needs it. By the time he actually gets evaluated and something get set up (and his preschool is ok with it) He'll be done school (in May) Kindergarden is in Sept. and now we have to make sure that the school we want to send him to will except him.
I know it will all work out, It's just is hard some days. Thanks for your reply!
Cindy

[Tropical Escape]

I have a daughter who is on the spectrum, she's pretty young but quite bright for her age. What I would suggest, if you haven't already is if he gets evaulated and is diagnosed as Asperger's, make sure the school you send him to has a great program for kids that have special needs, that's very important. Some kids do very well, some it takes awhile. Unless you want him to be mainstreamed with other kids (NT, which is classified as Neurotypical.)

Good luck! I hope that you get the help you need.

[MommaC]

You can also always pursue private services if you feel he isn't getting all the help he needs. Private therapy from an independent Speech-Language Pathologist might be quite pricey, however (unless by some miracle your insurance will cover part of it). Another option is university clinic. If there's a university near you with a Communication Disorders program, they likely have a clinic where they can teach their students to do appropriate therapy. Services are usually QUITE A BIT cheaper but still effective. For you, a local support group may not be a bad idea...it's helpful to spend time with people who can identify with you and share ideas (what has worked, what hasn't, which schools seem to be most helpful, etc.). Keep your chin up and keep enjoying your little boy!