Age Appropriate friendships

[summer17]

My daughter is 10 years old and an only child. Lately she has been spending a lot of time playing with the little boy across the street. Although he is somewhat mature for his age, he is only in kindergarten and she is in the 5th grade. She has friendships at school, her teacher told me just last week that she gets along with all the kids in her class and has been getting excellent grades. She did have playdates with kids her own age in the past but this seems to have dried up a little in the past few months. My husband and I are going to be separating and our daughter knows about this and has shared this information with her friends at school. Coincidentally her playdate invites have kind of tapered off at the same time.

My question is, is it appropriate for her to play with a child who is so much younger? Is this a regression of some kind or just a proximity issue? I worry that maybe she is lonely. She is not as into the "girly" things her friends at school are into...indeed she prides herself on being a tomboy...which is fine with me. I want her to be true to herself but I worry about her being lonely. Any advice would be appreciated :)

[MommaC]

Have you talked to her about it? Ask her why she likes playing with him so much. Ask what they play. Let her know that she can invite other school friends over if she wants to. She may not want to be open with you about loneliness and stuff, but your effort in noticing and asking will at least let her know that you're paying attention and caring.

[NannyNicole]

I completely agree with everything MommaC has suggested, nothing bad can come from having an open line of communication with your daughter. As for your question, I don't think there is anything wrong or inappropriate with your daughter playing with a younger child. I run an after school program for an elementary school and see this happen all the time, normally more with the girls than the boys. Most of the older children really enjoy playing with the younger ones, especially if the friends that are their same age are not available. This seems to be the case with your daughter. She is well adjusted at school and doesn't have a problem socializing with children her own age, she is probably just looking for someone to play with that is readily available. Normally older kids enjoy playing with younger kids because the younger kids are more likely to listen to them or look up to them. It also gives older kids a chance to play games they still enjoy but fear their friends may think are babyish. I wouldn't worry about your daughter and her new friend.