View Full Version : Post-Baby Relationship with Your Parents
Jessica at Parenting.com
12-01-2008, 02:38 PM
According to that commercial, "Having a baby changes everything."
Well, yes and no ... right?
What about your relationships with your own parents? How has your relationship with your mother or father changed since you became a parent?
Reply to this message and let us know!
12-01-2008, 03:47 PM
My whole family lives pretty close to each other. I moved away for ten years, but when I found out I was pregnant all I wanted was to be close to my mom again. She said she is so blessed now b/c not only does she have her daughter back.. she has a grandaughter now too.
My relationship with my parents has greatly improved since having my daughter. I am an only child, so they are 'all about' their only grandaughter!! Its great, my mom and I are like best friends now and I can really appreciate what a mother-daughter relationship is like now that I have one of my own!! :)
12-01-2008, 05:26 PM
The relationship with my parents has changed, it hasn't all been for the better. At least they now respect me as an adult- it took them years and years to finally get that one. But now they are doing the whole grandparent spoiling thing. They feel it is their right- probably because their parents did it to them. It really bothers me. They give my girls cake (I don't let them have ANY sweets) and reinforce some pretty bad behaviors- as well as get them crazy toys that make really loud and annoying sounds.
My mother especially seems to berate me for trying to keep my kids away from anything sweet (my motto is that they won't want it if they haven't tried it!) and yet herald me for being such a healthy mommy. It's very confusing. She'll never outright tell me she thinks I'm wrong about some of my parenting techniques, but I know what she's thinking. I think I finally got the best of her when I got my twins sleeping on a schedule from two months on to two years.
Oh, and I forgot about the clothes! She buys some of the most hideous clothes for the girls! I know she's being thoughtful, but really?!
My relationship with my mom was pretty much non-existant before my son was born. After he was born we started talking a little more. Things still aren't perfect, but they are so much better than they were before my son. She even does a good job of keeping quiet when she disagrees with something I am doing as a parent.
Surprisingly my relationship with my MIL has also gotten better. She almost treats me like a daughter instead of an outsider to the family like she did before. The only bad thing is she keeps pestering us about when we are going to have another baby!
12-02-2008, 09:23 AM
My Mom and I agree on a lot of things, so so far the only thing I think we'll argue over is annoying toys. :)
12-11-2008, 09:40 AM
My relationship with my parents has become much closer since having our son. Before baby, they would occasionally need our help with things... hooking up their new DVD player, cleaning up the hard drive of their computer, setting their new digital thermostat, etc. We NEVER had to ask for help. Now that the baby is here, that has changed. My parents (both of them!) help out. Grandma babysits (hallelujah!!), and Grandpa has helped in various ways, such as doing our yard work, once washed my car, and helps Grandma babysit. In fact, almost unbelievably, Grandpa really gets along well with our now 2 year old.
12-13-2008, 04:43 PM
before baby My relationship with my mother was she told me what to do and i did it. She was always belittling me and making me feel like a poor excuse for a human being. After the baby, i grew some balls (so to speak) and told she was not welcome in my life unless she was going to be nice. I explained that she will not control the way i raise my child. Needless to say, she didnt like hearing that. My mom has to be the center of attention and they only way she could do that now is to be around my child 24/7. Now we have no relationship. and she will not hve one with my DD unless she comes to her senses and stops trying to make me like a loser. I personally am much happier since she cut me out of her life.
12-23-2008, 04:53 PM
We are a fairly close family but having a child has change my relationships with my parents and extended family for the better. I have a deeper bond with my mom and my once non-existant relationship with my dad has improved a ton.
12-26-2008, 02:35 PM
Before the baby my relationship with my parents was there. My relationship with my inlaws was kind of tenuous. Since I have had the baby, my mom and I are EVEN closer that we were before, and my relationship with my dad has gotten better. I think he's getting closer to his grandson. The relationship with my inlaws has gotten better. They take him for a few nights a week to give us a break and some quiet.
01-08-2009, 02:02 PM
What about your In-Laws? What kind of a relationship do you guys have with your in laws after you've had children? I've been finding myself with a rut every time I have them over, because it seems like they've always got something to say about my marriage. I recently came across an episode on Mom Life where jen and barb discussed how to cope with the in-laws
it's at http://www.jenandbarbmomlife.com/ if you're wondering.
01-13-2009, 10:31 AM
My relationship with my parents I think has gotten much better. I now feel even closer with them. My daughter had to be taken to WVU children's hospital. The nurses at the hospital I had her in thought she might of had a seizure. That GOD she didn't. However, my parents didn't even think twice. They dropped everything and took us down to be with her. Then our furnace was on the fritz the last part of my pregnancy and we didn't have heat. So whenever she was released to come home they took us in. I am so very greatful for my parents. They just love her to pieces. She's the only granddaughter so far so she gets spoiled. My mil on the other hand I think my relationship with her has gotten worse. It's just comments she makes and different things. I'm so glad that I have loving parents.
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