PDA

View Full Version : No clue on how to discipline my DD.....



jenniesmom
03-13-2008, 05:09 PM
I'm just at my witts end on how I should handle my 18 month old. She behaves well at home, when I tell her no, she usually stops what she's doing, sometimes I have to remove her from the situation but when I do she doesn't fuss too much.

When we're out in public it's a whole other story. I'm to the point where I don't want to take her out in public but I know that wouldn't be a good idea, she needs to be around other children her age and play. I'm a SAHM so we joined Gymboree (parent/child classes/playgroup) and she loves it most of the time. When I try to get her to get involved with an activity the other children are doing most of the time she fights with me, throws herself back when I try to walk her to the children, screams, cries...I try to tell her we don't act that way, that is not the way we behave...I don't think she can even hear me...she's sooo far gone(mentally).

When we're in the grocery store or she's at the mall in the stroller she'll sit for a little while and then throw a fit, I will let her walk around holding my hand (except in the grocery store) and we'll walk for a good hour or so and when I go to put her back into the stroller she yell's bloody murder, face all red, crying, whole body is stiff as a board, I can't even sit her in the stroller because she won't bend at the waist....when she's that far gone there's nothing I can say or do to distract her to calm her. I've tried getting her sippy cup out, a toy, paci., but sometimes nothing works and most of the time I just have to basically sit there until she calms herself down. At home that's fine, but in public I end up looking like a mother who could care less about how her child is behaving.

I'm looking for answers, for solutions to this problem. Any and all advice would be soooo helpful.

TIA
Renee'

fuzzy
03-13-2008, 09:52 PM
Well,that is definitely a tricky subject! There are alot of things that can cause these behaviors to begin with that only you will be able to identify..Ex:Time of the day,hunger,tired? try changing the time you go to see if it makes it better!And When I took a parenting young children's course through the daycare I was working at,I've always remembered one thing that children feed off our emotions so if your starting these activities with the feeling that she's going to have a tantrum you may be setting yourself up for it,Try thinking that it's not going to happen and talk to her and tell her all the things she's going to get to do and even though she's young you can still give her jobs when you go shopping" make sure you remind mommy to get cheese" e.i and by doing these things you yourself don't have the tantrums on your mind.If she throws a fit in public and you don't want to be the center of attention take her out of the store put her in the car and wait unntil she's done and then go about your business,The bottom line is it's important that she learns these behaviour are unacceptable and she's not going to get what she wants from it and once she learns that you are in control they will start to diminsh..Well I hope my tips can help!

lrbizeebee
03-14-2008, 04:04 AM
You know...there's a website called www.bingnote.com that gives advice on various topics. There's an article called Life Is A Balancing Act that you may want to check out. It may give you another perspective on your situation. The link is:http://www.bingnote.com/blog/life-is-a-balancing-act.

Hope it helps...

ra11en
04-04-2008, 03:15 PM
Super Nanny instructed a mom on this recently. The mom actually put the child in time out right there in the grocery store! And it worked!! If it hadn't, the nanny was prepared to remove the child completely and revoke a privelage. I know there are some against a child having the power to make you leave in the middle of say, grocery shopping, but I have always done it. If my 18mo acts up (has happened twice) I take away the privelage of being out in the store with me. My mom raised me that way as well, and the few times I lost the privelage (sp) of being out was always enough to make me tow the line.

Good luck to you. Very frustrating situation I'm sure. One of my biggest fears as a new mom - the tantrum in public! They get me all anxious and sweaty and I think I have nightmares about them, possibly even post-traumatic stress disorder from the two instances I've experienced. Hats off to you for keeping at it!!