Behavioral/Social situations

[chenry7009]

Our granddaughter had to have 2 back to back surgeries for an infection in the lymph node, the 1st was one week before Christmas 2007 and the 2nd was at the end of February 2008.

Since this time, we have noticed changes in how she reacts to people and children in social situations. At daycare she is fine, there are no social issues, however, any time her parents or us take her into another social situation, she becomes withdrawn and holds her down and to the side of the surgery site.

My daughter and I had been racking our brain trying to figure out what caused a bubbly, outgoing little girl to become an introvert in new social situations. I was driving home and it hit me, she was traumatized by the medical issue. This child had been a perfectly healthy little girl and only had to have her regular check ups and immunizations, then all of a sudden strange people were poking at her, sticking needles in her, etc...

Are there any excercises we can do with her to help her through this or am I correct in thinking there may be a need for therapy? She is a lovely, sweet natured child and we hate to see her missing out on fun in new social situations. Her mom and dad are baffled as much as we are.

[eniese]

As far as needing therapy or exercises, I would talk to her pediatrician-their trained to identify issues that need extra help. Depending on her age, the withdrawal might just be a phase, with coincidental timing. Our 3 yo is the life of the party at daycare, but shy as can be when we bring him into new social situations. A year ago, he would talk to anyone and play with anyone. Growing up changes their awareness and can create shyness or selfconciousness. Daycare is a very stable social situation, where they see the same kids, and have the same routine every day. Any situation mom and dad or others are likely to put her in are completely new and she doesn't know what to expect out of the experience.

[MommaC]

I agree that it may just be a developmental phase. Kids go through stages of realization. Now she knows the difference between strangers and friends and between familiar situations and unfamiliar situations. Does she just take a long time to warm up in new settings, or does she NEVER warm up in new settings? As far as her touching her surgery site, that MIGHT be coincidental. My daughter tends to stick her finger in her ear (most often) or in her nose (less often) when she feels uncomfortable with someone. That's just how I know to stick close so I can reassure her that this "new friend" is okay. If she is over-the-top out of control emotionally, then, sure, pursue therapy. It doesn't necessarily have to be a psychologist. I'd actually recommend a speech-language pathologist as we are trained to help kids develop social skills. For now, I'd just keep an eye on it. Encourage her to engage and give her whatever level of support she needs to get comfortable in the situation. Good luck!