daughter won't let me do her hair!

[jaskarjam]

My daughter is about 2 1/2 yrs old and her hair is starting to grow very fast. When she first started to grow enough hair for a barrette/elastic band she'd let me put one in for a little while and then she'd take it out after like 5-10 minutes. Being that she didn't really NEED one I kind of put it off for a while. Now her hair is always all over the place she wants nothing to do with it. She doesn't even want me to brush her hair. The only thing she'll allow is her hat when we go outside, thank goodness she'll at least wear the hat! Anyone else have this problem?

[rmschmitt49]

my daughter is 5 and I stillhave to chase her around the house with a brush!!
We started a behavior chart for her and my 2 year old son. She gets a sticker each day for things she should be doing anyway, but I think I was a little late getting her in to a routine (well expecting the 3rd and know not to make that mistake now!!)
So they both get stickers for washing their face, brushing their teeth, combing their hair, and putting their bags/coats on their hook (not the floor next to it, just a pet peeve of mine!!!) and putting their shoes away. Again things they should be doing everyday, but weren't. It has helped so much. Each morning my daughter brushes her own hair and then brings the brush to me to get the back since she still has problems with reaching there. I still can't get her to wear a ponytail or anything in her hair for more than a couple hours (mostly for dance class and soccer practice, which i told her that her teacher/coach says she has to wear her hair up or she can't participate... I know I'm not supposed to lie to my kid, but....) She used to have really long hair, but now it gets no longer than shoulder lenght. Try a "dora" haircut, worked wonders for us!!!

[jaskarjam]

Thanks that sounds like a good idea! So far I've only implemented a progress chart for potty training. I'll have to try it for other things as well I suppose. I've tried to encourage her by saying "yay!" or "you look so pretty!!" and I'll point out if her dolls or other little girls have "pretty hair". She comprehends it but it doesn't influence her in wanting to do the same. She sort of does have the "Dora" haircut, lol, I never thought of it that way though. Yet the way she plays, climbing, rolling around etc.,...it still ends up all over the place! It's so funny:)

[dcondiff]

I definetly feel your pain. My daughter has naturally curly hair and she refuses to let me comb it. It is like going through the war to get her hair done. This started about 6 months ago and I don't even know what to do anymore. I have resorted to putting her hair in a pony tail and sometimes leaving it there for a day or more. I also do the behavioral thing and reward her when she behaves, which she is doing very well with, except for her hair. I am hoping that she will grow out of this. Any suggestions would be appreciated. If not, I guess we will just wait this out.

[littleMom]

My son is biracial and has very textured, tightly curled hair. Its always been a challenge to "do" his hair. My only solution has been to pic or oil his hair when he is distracted--while eating breakfast or watching a favorite show. Now that he is 2 1/2 I let him comb his own hair and then I do it again after. Luckily, being a boy, short haricuts work well (less hair to fuss with). But not the best option for girls!

[Lisa at Parenting]

My daughter's 11, and I STILL have this issue! And she's always had thick long hair (even as a toddler) that gets incredibly knotty. To make things easier: This is one of the times when I say "Thank goodness for TV." From when she was little, I'd pop in a video, put her on the floor with a snack, and sit behind her and work on the knots. (I can't even think about all the things I could have accomplished if I had all those hours back!) The best year was when she decided that wanted it short. Maybe Hannah Montana will cut her hair and start a trend! (Ok, that probably won't happen....)

[mary84]

I have the same issue with my 2 year old. she has beautiful hais and looks so cute with it in pig tails. but she takes them out and then hides the hair ties. i found that if she starts geting ready to pull at them distracting her works at least for a while longer.

[jaskarjam]

I have the same issue with my 2 year old. she has beautiful hais and looks so cute with it in pig tails. but she takes them out and then hides the hair ties. i found that if she starts geting ready to pull at them distracting her works at least for a while longer.

LOL yes, I know, my daughter looks adorable w/ little pigtails,barette, or a headband goes to the mirror to see what she looks like, says "mommy look!" then takes them right out! I think the longest she's ever worn anything in her hair was at a wedding during the summer when she was a flower girl. I believe ther was so much going on around her she didn't even think about it or remember it was there.

[mary84]

jaskarjam, does your little girl hide the hair ties? i can not tell you how many little ties and barettes i have found underneath my area rugs. it is so funny but annoying!!! we try and tell her oh you look so pretty! she says back "i pretty mama" then yanks um and runs. they are so funny at this age!!!

[jaskarjam]

lol, no Mary, she hasn't done that but that really is funny! She sounds adorable:) My daughter either puts them right back where I got it from or she'll throw it far out of reach. Also, if I happen to be holding one in my hand and she spots it before I even begin to bring her attention to it, she'll grab it out of my hand, throw it somewhere and run away. So you could say she hides HERSELF rather than the hair bands, lol!

[mary84]

oh see your lucky!!! she just grabs it and throws it. i have to hide the ties in my fist if she spots it she hides behind the couch or under the desk...lol

[jaskarjam]

So lately there is really nothing more I can do to encourage her so I just stay consistent with it. I just get her at the right time...if I can find something that will distract her or keep her busy so she's not focused on it like others suggested, that's been helpful(The sticker incentive didn't work). Sometimes she'll wear it for 10 min. and sometimes for a couple hours! But often, if it falls out she won't let me put it back in her hair...oh well! I think she's beginning to just get used to it finally:)!

[fuzzy]

dcondiff~I myself have naturally curly hair and remember the fights my mother had with me to get my hairbrushed ( I even remember hiding under the coffee tables so she couldn't get me)Now, somehow she had to get me to do my hair! A spray bottle with water and a little detangler and a comb! It worked great cause when our hair is dry it naturally tangles and it really hurts when brushed through but when you wet it ,awww it really makes it much less painfull to comb through! Hope this can be some help to you!

[txmom]

Oh yeah. This is a very familiar problem for me. I finally cut my daughters hair (from lower back length to shoulder length), and she is a little more cooperative. I get so sick of fighting with her everyday when it comes time to comb her hair. I am pretty sure it is just a battle of wills.

[Cynister]

Jade is 22 months old. She has become a customed to me brushing her hair in the tub. She really couldn't get away & she used to put up a big fight with tears but she has finally excepted it after me telling her it has to be done & not giving up. I comb out the knots while there is conditioner in her hair, being sure to hold her hair so I don't pull on it as I get out the bottom knots. Sometimes I have to dry her hair while in the tub so I can give it a once over with her brush but usually I can do her hair while she sits in front of me. For a while I had to chase after her, hard to do without laughing but they need to know it isn't a game. Sometimes it helps if I let her do it.
Jade's hair is very curly like mine & always in her face. She used to always pull out the hair clip, immediately if I didn't distract her. Which she'd usually find later on while exploring & pull out. I found that in the beginning doing her hair while she was strapped into her carseat made it just about impossible for her to reach the clip & pull it out. Now she'll let me put the clip in, I tell her she looks pretty & now her hair isn't in her eyes. Sometimes she'll still pull it out but usually she'll hand it right back to me & pat her head so I can put it back in, though she can do this consecutively so it does get annoying. Recently she found a butterfly hairclip of mine & demanded I put it in her hair. As long as she had the matching clip to play with she left the other clip in her hair.
So try taking your daughter out to pick out her own hair clips, buy matching ones for yourself she may enjoy that. If all else fails try a headband.

[DESTINY8642]

My daughter is 2 1/2 and has extremely long hair! I keep getting it cut, but it grows like 3 1/2 inches a MONTH! Its crazy! And she of course is very tenderheaded and will fight me and fight me to no end! Her newest thing is to put her hands on her head and then move her hands all around in a futile attempt to stop me...which ultimately makes her hair 10 times worse than it was to begin with! Every morning is a battle that I have to deal with and nothing seems to work properly! I used to be happy that my baby was born with hair and it was soooo cute to play "dress up" with her hair and decorate it all pretty, but now it is just a pain!

[gildaroxana]

I feel for you! My daughter, now 27 months, has curly hair, and we went through a long period of no hairstyling. I started purchasing "character" accessories, (Dora, Hello Kitty, Poo bear, etc.) and I collected so many of them that I purchased a Sesame Street lunch box to put them in. Well, that got her attention! She wanted to dig in and pull everything out...so it was more of a game...Then, I had so many rubber bands, bows and clips that I had to get a bigger organizer, and I found this pretty cool box at Ikea for about $3. It has dividers you can re-arrange however you need to, and I placed all the little things in it. She loves playing with the clips and takes them out, then, puts them back in. Her hair is styled everyday now and I can pretty much style it however I want to. I have even invented some pretty funky hairstyles...little girls look so cute with their hair done !!
I usually do it right after I put her clothes on. You may want to give this a try, I hope it works...I just went with my instinct and it worked pretty well for me. Make it a game...that's what it is all about with little ones....
Good luck!

[kfiedler]

call me mean but I started with real rubber bands, she would tug and pull and hurt like heck, and still not come out. I would remind her that they stay in her hair and if she leaves them there, they won't hurt. After a a brief stuggle she gave up and I have no problem doing her hair now. I can even braid it! But be prepared to cut them out, those suckers can really get stuck!

[kaiya23]

My hair tangled around rubber bands as a kid and it made for some frizzy hair. Just be careful.

[Motherof2Keikes]

We had the same problems, knots and tears, running and hiding. Had her hair cut and still had knots- just not as many. Finally found a "wonder brush"- it's pricey ($16 at salon) but works. My DD calls it her "magic brush". It's called the ouchless brush and it's made by the BeadHead brand. Hope this helps!

[MommaC]

For anyone who has naturally curly hair (or has kids with naturally curly hair!), I highly recommend "Curly Girl" by Lorraine Massey (a hairdresser with naturally curly hair). Her guidelines might sound funky at first, but I can tell you from experience that she knows what she's talking about. :)

[relocatednyc]

Does she have a favorite animal? If so, you could play a game one day and tell her that you are going to make her look like that animal and then put her hair up to look like that. Then, you can ask her if she will let you do that a few times and if she does, it could open that door for you.
I did this and the girls let me give them "puppy dog ears" (which are just pig-tails).
After that day, we did puppy dog ears for a week and then I just started making the same time each day to do their hair and it fell into the routine of the day.
I do it when they are brushing their teeth in the morning, so they are in the bathroom already and occupied so they aren't as focused on the fact that I am doing their hair and I give them choices about what they can do with it now, instead of whether they will get it done or not.
I say, "choose which bow you want" or "do you want puppy dog ears or a pony's tail" instead of, "can I do your hair".

Try to find a way to open that door.
Best of luck!

[o0nessa090o]

yes, i'm having the same problem. my daughter just turned two, but her hair has been long since she was one. and i can't do anything, she'll let me comb it! but when it comes to ponytails or w/e, i can't. she just won't let me. [and that makes me soo sad and kinda mad cause she's my lil girl with pretty hair. and i see all the other lil girls with cuuuute hair!! :(] so when you find a way let me know. ;P