View Full Version : Help my mother from hell
03-10-2008, 07:39 PM
I'm a new single mom i live with my parents and its not going so good i cant do right by my mom i'm trying the best i can everything i do is wrong i mean my daughters is almost ten months and i still have her on the bottle and she yells at me because she need to be on a sippy cup and i told her i'm not going to force her to drink out of a sippy cup and when i say i want to move she says shell call child Services on me and i can get a job because i dont have a car and my mom complains about taking me to any where and even appointments i need some advice how can i haddle this
03-10-2008, 10:02 PM
I've read some of your posts, and it sounds like you're pretty young. The questions you've asked and the responses you've given really seem like you are trying your best. It's especially hard when you don't have the support you need. My mother went through the same thing when she had me. My father had died in an accident while she was pregnant. So she moved in with her mom when I was born. She told me that lasted less than a week b/c her mom drove her nuts! :)
I don't know what to tell you about the job and car thing--that's tough at any time. To me, it sounds like you are doing a fine job with your daughter. You're going to have to sit down with your mom in a calm, relaxed situation to talk to her without either of you raising your voices (that's hard, i know!), and if she's not up to that, maybe you could write her a nonjudgemental letter, letting her know that you appreciate what she's trying to do, but if you are ever going to do this by yourself someday, you (and she) are going to have to trust your choices and decisions. But do make sure you let her know that you love her and appreciate her, b/c it's hard for them, too.
03-10-2008, 11:28 PM
Your mom is probably thinking that she raised you just fine, and you should do what she says because she knows more. You can tell her that your pediatrician says it's ok to use a bottle until a year old. Defer to the expert! I once heard that parents can push our buttons because they installed them. True. Your parents are adjusting to having a baby in the house, too, and to having their baby all grown up with a baby of her own. Not to excuse her behavior, just to say where she's coming from.
My mom drives me nuts, too. I think it's universal. I think myboysmom is right - try to have a calm conversation with her. And if there are resources in your community for young moms, for single moms, see if you can get some relief there, too. Just talking to other moms often helps.
03-28-2008, 08:46 AM
You do sound very young, depending on the situations also, because you are vague about it. Your mother has no right to threathen you with calling social services to take the child because you want to move out (That is just mental abuse, Hate mindgames). If you are over 18, you have the right to move anywhere you choose, but first, make sure you can afford it. bills ad up fast and so does the stress. There are areas where some jobs help provide with childcare. Taking a job with less pay, but great beneifits is sometimes better. Also is there public transportation in your area? If so utilize it and show your mom that you can make things work without a vehicle. The less you rely on her to take you everywhere, the more independent you become and your confidence in yourself will go up too. Sounds like getting out on your own is the best thing for you. Just don't jump out of the frying pan into the fire.
Go to human services yourself, express the need for independence they may be able to help you get started. Nothing happens overnight. I know here our YCCA has a program called money matters and they help people learn to budget, etc.... takes a few weeks of classes, but they also have a program the will help young people save money and they added dollars to it according to what you put into it and help them save for a house downpayment. See what services are in your area. Don't be affraid or ashamed to ask for the help. The first step to getting help, is acknowledging that you need it.
03-29-2008, 06:30 AM
I think you do sound young also. Look into finding public transportation for yourself to a job. Also, in our area, they have income based housing where they base your rent on what you make. Keep in mind that your Mom can't call child services just because you want to move out. That's silly. Secure a job and get out so you and your child can get your own place. Not trying to be too nosy but can the baby's father help you? Child Support? Good luck and I hope it all works out great for you and baby :)
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