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View Full Version : Where's the manners?



Nothermommabear
02-16-2012, 05:27 PM
For a society that is so politically correct, whatever happened to teaching our children some manners?
While I'm sure that parents and grandparents have asked themselves, generation after generation why kids are so darn rude these days, I must say...a mother from the 1920's, 30's, 40's, and 50's would no doubt stand possitively speechless at simple trip through any Walmart in the country, just appauled at the way parents and their children interact or the way children interact with others today.
Where does the sense of entitlement come from? Are children simply spoiled? Is there a lack of disapline? In a world where most homes need both parents working, has family values gone down the toilet? Has the woman's movement gone overboard to the point to demeaning the roll of stay at home mothers as an outdated notion? Has technology built new walls within the home contributing to laziness and distancing relationships with parents and children? Has the idea of "no child left behind" and "it takes a villiage" left parents without a sense of accountability or responsibility?

As military wife of 11 years, we lived on a small budget and sacrified much so that I could stay at home and raise my two children. It was apon them entering school that I really discovered how different they were from other children. My 1st grade daughter complained of mean girls who would stick their fist in her face telling her to stay away from certain boys, other girls who would hit her and boss her, there was even a boy who tried to choke her. Throughout the years my son has lacked friends as well because he says that they are rude. Just the other day he attempted to make friends with a couple of kids in his new 4th grade class. He asked if he could play airplanes with them and they said, no because he didn't have one. He then went to make one, brought it over and asked again. Again, they said no, his plane was too small. So, he decided to sit back and watch, when one of the boys told him to quit spying on them.
I wondered if it was something that I had done wrong. They had proper social interaction with church, sports teams, dance class, and family friends, so I couldn't understand why they weren't making friends. What made them so different than others?
After moving around and having similar experiences at other schools across the country, I have come to the conclusion that my children don't fit in because they are TOO NICE. We belong to a dying breed of people who still believe in respect and morals that later trasfer to a sense of work ethic and responsiblity. Is it to their advantage or disadvantage in this day and age? Would I have done better to have raised them to be aggressive, pushy, and rude...the personality triats that seem to be necessary for survival in the school yard and it's probably not a stretch to assume that you may need them for the work place now as well.
Have manners become irrelevent and pointless?

hairdontgrow
02-28-2012, 11:31 AM
Children reflect the society. People are rude these days. TV is rude. Media is rude. Kids pick up.

Kudos to you for raising polite children. It's fairly challenging these days.

KarrieS
09-13-2012, 01:23 PM
Keep it up, Nothermommabear. It WILL serve them well in the long run.

It IS very challenging today to raise well-mannered kids. My mother always used to tell me that my husband and I would befriend people who had kids that we enjoy and want our children to be around. Boy! She wasn't wrong. The problem that we have faced is that there are only a handful of children that our kids know that are respectful and considerate. So, we're left with loosening our standards, or holding firm to our values. We choose to hold on to our values and, therefore, we put a lot of time into organizing play time with kids that we think share those values. ("People become like those they spend most of their time with.")

I believe that it's tough, but best. And along the way, we use others' nastiness as a meaningful way of teaching our kids how they DON'T want to be.

As "hairdontgrow" said, kudos to you.

Swati88
10-08-2012, 03:25 AM
Its true that children reflect society,they do whatever they see.No doubt!!