My 5 yr old makes up stories!! HELP!

[ineedhelp]

My son is 5 yrs od and still sleeps in our room in our bed. He refuses to sleep in his bed let alone own room. i have tried to be strict about it but if I force him to try to sleep in his bed, which is in our room, he cries and doesnt sleep. he cries forcing himself to throw up. then we are forced to allow him to sleep in our bed. I dont know how to deal with this any longer.

Now he makes up stories about his health. For instance if he doesnt want to go to school, he tells me he is having a breathing problem or he is having a tummy ache or that he feels like throwing up. I have taken him to a doctor to get him checked for heart probs, lung probs, but everything is fine. This makes me know he is making up a story to get out of things such as not going to aftercare or swimming lessons or school. When I sit him down to study to read, after 5 mins he says hes sleepy and really tired. right after he gets up from studying, all that sleepy and tiredness goes away. When I ask him to eat, which by the way he is a very fussy eater, he complains of stomach pain. I tell him ok then go lay down. then that pain disappears and next thing you know he is playing. When I ask him to go to sleep, in our bed alone while we sit in the living room, he says he is having a breathing problem or something is stuck in his throat.

I am fed up of the lies he is telling me to get out of things. I do not know how to control it. I have tried punishing him but it doesnt work on him. I have taken his TV time away, I have taken his toys away for days at times, I have sat him in timeout. I have run out of ideas to dealing with this.

Someone please help!!

[cay8099]

You really need to let him know you mean business. Put him in his own bed, if he throws up clean him and change the sheets put him back in his own bed. If he says he's tired when doing homework tell him he can finish his homework and go to bed. If he cries sick before school then tell him he probably needs a shot with a big needle to feel better you'll call the doctor right now. These are all normal tactics kids use to get out of doing stuff, and it seems to be working on you. You need to show him you're the boss, and stick to your guns no matter what! He also needs to learn to eat what you put in front of him. When kids figure out what works they stick to it; you just need to show him that it will no longer work. Don't expect a miracle, this will take time, so patience is key.

[MommaC]

He's manipulating you (and making you crazy in the process). Simply don't let him. I know you said that nothing works, but how long are you trying each discipline strategy? No discipline is magic. It will take time for it to kick in and sink in with the kid. You have to "prove" that your will is stronger and that you're not giving in. Don't give him his way if it violates your "commandment". If you've told him to eat, he's got to sit there until he eats or until it's time for bed. If you've told him to sleep in his bed, he MUST stay in that bed. If you think he's going to throw a vomit fit, send him to bed with a bowl/bucket and dry washcloth. Since it's reached this level, you're really going to have to hang tough to prove you mean business. If you feel you need some inspiration, check out Supernanny's "How to Get the Best From Your Children" by Jo Frost. Her strategies work even on the toughest kids. Be firm. Be consistent. Be the parent. You can do it! :)

[ocmomof1]

Sounds as if your son doesn't view you as an authority figure. Lay down the law and most importantly - follow through on your rules. Otherwise you have no power and no credibility, and he's taking full advantage. Bed time: Put him in his bed, let him scream, clean him up after he vomits, then put him right back to bed. You have to keep doing this until he understands that you mean what you say. Feigning illness: So long as you're sure that he's not ill, tell him the doctor says he's healthy, so he's going to school (or swim class, etc) and don't talk about it any further with him. Talking too much will give him the negative attention he appears to thrive on. Studying: Tell him his choice is to study or go straight to his own bed, period. If he gets up to play or whatever, start the bedtime process, and follow through. Meals: He stays at the table until he's excused. Do not make him a separate meal from what you're eating. Tell him he gets what you've made for dinner, and if he chooses not to eat it, he will be very hungry for the rest of the night (no dessert or snacks thereafter).

You must follow through with everything you tell him. Telling him he's going to "get a shot with a big needle" is fine, so long as you do exactly that when he continues to complain about being sick. Otherwise, you gain no credibility, you're reinforcing the behavior that you're trying to eliminate, and your child has complete control over you! Follow through will be exhausting, but this negative attention-seeking is learned behavior, so it's going to take time to 'un-learn' it, so to speak. If all else fails, consult your pediatrician for a referral to a therapist. Good Luck!