PDA

View Full Version : Disturbing behavior



soncol
10-29-2008, 11:29 AM
I don't know what to do with this situation... (Kind of long)

My cousin has a preschooler who has done some very disturbing acts, which has most of my family up in arms. My cousin does not believe in medicating a child for psychological issues and refuses to get help with any kind of behavior therapy. In my family we have three children that are preschoolers and have not and do not exhibit the disturbing behavior this child continues to do. I will list some of these behaviors, but what concerns me most is that my cousin continues to dismiss them as acts of mischief or "being wild". She does not discipline her or has any kind of consistency with dealing with her behavior good or bad. She rewards her for no reason and does not effectively punish her wrongdoings. She often leaves family functions/social situations because she is embarrassed by her behavior, but still doesn't properly address it. For the past several years she has:
-Been expelled from a preschool
-Flooded bathroom toilets
-Emptied garbage bags all over the house
-Taken lotion and covered her younger sibling and the basement furniture, walls with it.
-Taken a magic marker and drawn all over the walls and furniture in the house.
-Cut her and her sibling's hair on several occasions
-Makes up stories that never happened, lies about doing stuff (typical among preschoolers, but she tells people that she had a sister that died - creepy stories)
-Destroys people's rooms/things in other houses
-Doesn't listen to authority and laughs when she is reprimanded
-She doesn't steal, but she hides items that she covets, so the owner can't find them
-She is insanely jealous of everything and anything she can't have.

The people closest to my cousin in our family have repeatedly pointed these issues out to her and have speculated the child not having a conscience. Is there a behavioral disorder that would constitute these issues and how can we get through to her that she needs to get the child help? Most of my family does not want to attend functions where this child will be present and feel she is kind of a threat/instigator for their children and do not want her near them. The child that really suffers here is the younger sibling, she does not display these behaviors on a regular basis and often gets the brunt of her sister's antics. Any advice is welcome.

gostomskiart
10-29-2008, 12:05 PM
This child doesn't sound like she needs medication it sounds like she needs dicapline! Just last night I was watching Nanny911 and there were two children who diplayed similar behavior (down to the flooding the bathrooms, hitting and destruction of things/property - they were 3 and 4 years old).

Unfortunately unless your cousin is willing to admit she (as a parent) needs to buckle down and be consistent with punishment (and praise when due), it sounds like she is going to have a little hellion on her hands. You could also look into books on "getting your child to behave" and maybe the family can "gift" her a book that may help her.

As for family functions, if it were me, I would flat out tell her that unless her child can learn how to behave then I can't have her over my house destroying things and acting out. Seems harsh but maybe that will help get through to her, she is not doing this child any service by letting her get away with this behavior.

cay8099
10-29-2008, 01:45 PM
I agree, these behavioral problems stem from a lack of discilpline. These inconsistencies in her parenting are creating the behavior. How old is the younger sibling? Trust me when I say this, if your cousin doesn't do something now she is going to have 2 children who display this destructful and disrespectful behavior. With enough time and the right tactics her "wild" behavior can resolved. Your problem is getting her mother to see what she is turning her daughter into and agreeing to fix the mess she has made. If this poor little girl is left to continue in the direction she is heading her behavior will escalate. She will never have respect for herself or anyone else, eventually landing her in a great deal of trouble........

Jordyn
10-29-2008, 02:20 PM
military preschool perhaps... I'm out.... who's next....?