View Full Version : Weaning??
03-07-2008, 06:12 AM
My son is now 18 months old and I do not think that he will ever wean! I am having a hard time with the nursing becoming the only way for him to go to sleep. That is making it hard for him to wean. Does anyone have any ideas on how to get him to go to sleep without nursing.
03-11-2008, 09:08 PM
I'm in the same boat so unfortunately I don't have any advice, jusy sympathy! My son will be 18 months on the 27th and although I do nurse him before bed, he does go into the crib "awake" as everyone recommends. However, he wants that boob before bed! No bottle, no pacifier, just mommy. I've pretty much weaned him from all daytime feedings (except before his nap) but it breaks my heart to say no when he has no idea why all of a sudden he can't have it. I think slowly, but surely is the trick. I try to give him a bottle instead each time and sometimes he takes a little at least. I'm hoping eventually it will work. P.S. He will only drink his milk from a bottle - but uses sippy cups regularly for water & juice. ???
03-25-2008, 01:06 AM
I guess I will be the third in the boat. My daughter is 18 months & I don't know what to do either. I tried the whole "take them off before they fall asleep" thing when she was born. Needless to say, neither of us really slept for a few weeks. I was so exhausted, I gave up. It was the only way to get her to sleep. 18 months later and it's still the only way she falls asleep. I say jokingly that my boobs are her best friend, but it's almost true. Looks like we could use some advice!
03-27-2008, 01:17 AM
Im going CRAZY! my third child (7yrs, 3 yrs and 16 months) refuses to wean...
Im doing post education full full time, and trying to get him off the breast... my first two children weaned themselves seemingly at an appropriate enough age (6 months and 10 months)...
my son still wakes up every 3-4 hours during the night, and refuses to fall asleep any other way, if I refuse him the breast he basically rips off my shirt <embarassing if the tantrum isnt already enough>
he can drink from a sippy cup', a glass, he can handle a bottle-he refuses...
PLEASE! I know Im not the only one... there is a guru here somewhere...
Im going to lose my mind if I dont get some sleep lol!
03-27-2008, 08:14 PM
Hi girls! Sounds like all of you are having a hard time, so I thought I'd pass on some info (and an expert) that really helped us. We are still in the process of weaning, but my 13-mo-old is down to just when he wakes up in the morning, once a day. We slowly got him off the before bedtime and naps with consistency and gentle distractions. I don't know how much you're into reading books by "the experts," but one book that really helped us with many sleep issues for our son is Good Night, Sleep Tight, by Kim West. There is a whole section, based on each age, for "sleep crutches," which, if you're trying to get your kiddos off the whole "breast to sleep" association, nursing is definitlely a crutch or impedence to falling asleep on their own. I know each kid is different and I could go into specifics (let me know if you want to know!) about my son, but you just need to find a way that is comfortable and gentle for both you and your child. Good luck!
03-28-2008, 12:15 PM
I don't know if this would work for any of you but I thought I would tell you anyway! I have heard of the mom leaving the baby with the dad for the weekend. Whether you go out of town with a friend or maybe just stay at a friends house. Anyway I think the idea is that they'll take the bottle from dad cause they know theres no boob around. Your husbands will probably all hate me if you actually tried this! Haha! Anyways I don't know how well it actually works since I didn't have this problem with my first two and I'm praying that I don't have it with my 7 month old! Good luck to all of you! Keep us posted on how you manage to wean them!
03-28-2008, 10:44 PM
well, i must say that after 2 years and 8 months (1 1/2 months before my 2nd was born, phew!) my son was finally weaned from breastfeeding... i did a couple of different things, all of which worked at one point or another...first, i DIDN'T leave him with dad or another loved one for a weekend..this only imposes more stress on the child and to me makes them less confident and MORE dependent...
FIRST: i had him down to nap time, 2 min. at bedtime and when he first woke up...i figured out which times were MOST important for him to have it (important to him) and figured the morning and right before bed were the 2 favored...so i simply said, 'we dont get 'ba' (what he called it) anymore at nap time. you can hold me (letting him just cuddle up to the breast is sometimes enough) but we dont drink ba at naptime"...yes, he would cry or have a fit and then eventually cut out naptimes altogether..i think saying to me, "well if i can't have it, then i wont nap"...it was a battle i was not choosing to fight, so he simply went without a nap during the day and went to bed an hour or so earlier each night.
SECOND: when this got to be routine, then i decided to put a time limit each time he wanted to breastfeed. i set egg timers, hourglass timers and eventually when he would ask i just said, 'ok, you have 2 minutes' and gave him about that amount of time. he would drink, then i would give him a countdown. 'you have 1 more minute'...'ok, now im going to count to 5 and we're going to say, good night ba" and this worked in an instant. eventually "2 minutes" got to be down to 10 seconds, literally and he would cut himself off"...i did the same type of thing in the morning
THIRD: as weird as this sounds, my son just wanted to cuddle up to the breast and hold me around my middle and this seemed to satisfy his needing to be near the breast...if you are comfortable with that, it may be an option and it was a way for him to stop 'drinking the ba' and just went to 'holding ba' and eventually at 3 years old this lead to, 'well, you're a big boy now, you don't have to hold ba anymore' and he's been ok with that...
to me, these easing suggestions are a lot better than some who say to just cut them off cold turkey...some babies arent ready for it. dr. sears is a great resource for weaning and he suggests only doing it when the child is ready...but if either one of you has lost interest, then it is time to wean but ease off gently. try not to rush. this time doesnt last long and they certainly wont be doing this forever!!! good luck to all of you!! if you have any ?'s, im not a dr. but i am an experienced breastfeeder for almost 3 years!! i can try to help!!
04-04-2008, 12:40 AM
I nursed my first two children for sixteen months each. I primarily used the distraction method. I tried to get us out of the house more for walks and playtime to take her mind off of nursing. (It is easy to hand a sippy cup when outside.) But I eliminated feedings starting with the morning feed. The nighttime was the last one with both of mine to give up. Finally, I started to tell them that mommie was empty and couldn't make "mommie's milk" anymore. They would have to drink milk from the refridgerator because I was out. Good luck.
04-13-2008, 08:07 PM
When I weaned my son (starting at 12 months finished by 15 mo.) I pumped milk for his sippy cup, and held him while he drank it. I replaced 1 feeding a month approx until they were all sippy cups then slowly started replacing my milk with cows milk. This served a few purposes. First, he was still drinking the familiar Mother's milk, second he was still getting that all important Mommy bonding, and third, he became more comfy with the cup. After 15 months, he was completely on the cup (no bottles either) and has never asked for it since. I had absolutely no problems with it. We still snuggle with a cup of milk in the morning (mostly so Mommy can get cuddles in before work), but he no longer takes one just before bed, unless he is having issues sleeping or wakes up in the night. Hope this helps.
07-13-2008, 04:19 AM
I want to share my successful and yet unfortunate story with all moms. I breastfed my daughter until 25 months. My original plan was to stop breastfeeding at 6 months. Obviously, it didn't work well in my case because she couldn't sleep without my breasts and would not take a bottle since age 1 1/2 months. We tried to give her a paci since birth but she refused to take it (Tried it with different paci for 1 month without result!) She could use a sipping cup but won't take anything but water in it. I thought I could do it when she was 1 year old. Again, I was having a hard time because she wanted my breasts to go back to sleep. She would wake up many times during the night and 'helped' herself with my breasts (I co-sleep with her). I was too exhausted to even realize that she was on top of me (yes..it's true...). When she was between 16 to 18 months old, I tried to scrub garlic and ginger onto my nipples to wean her from my breasts. Apparently, it didn't bother her very much so I just stopped the weaning process. Then I started to spot a brownish part on her front 2 teeth. She had cavities and her teeth decay problem was serious. That was the time I knew I really HAVE to wean her no matter what. I was really desperate that I used chili sauce! I was afraid it might get into her eyes so I used just a tiny tiny bit of mild chili sauce. She started to cry on the first day at her first breastfeeding. And I told her no more 'nai nai' (that's how she called it) because she was a big girl. The next time when she was 'asking' for it, I would show her the bottle of chili sauce and she would cry (yes..I didn't have to put chili sauce on my nipples!). Eventually, she understood and got the idea. She would tell me no more 'nai nai' for her. I praised her for her understanding and introduced flavored milk for her. At night, I told her she couldn't have my breasts but she could hug her Elmo to sleep. She cried the first night but I cuddled her and rocked her. She would wake up again and crying during the nights and I comforted her by cuddling her again. By the 2nd or 3 nights, she went to sleep by herself. Cuddling her Elmo and she almost sleep through the night! Although she is still waking up sometimes, I will tell her to lie down and she will go back to sleep again. It took me about 4 or 5 days to wean her.
Unfortunately, it was too late to save her teeth that she had to extract her front two teeth. It was very devastating to watch your 2+ year old put to sleep and lost her teeth when she needed them most to chew and eat the food.
I fail to be a responsible mom. Hopefully no other mom will have to go through the painful ordeal like we did.
I've been reading all of the weaning posts and i've gotten some great tips for the daytime weaning. The only thing that's REALLY stressing me out are the nighttime feedings. I'm a single Mom and i chose to let my daughter (13 months now) sleep with me in my bed after she stopped being swaddled. I started to feed her during the night again while she was teething as it seemed to comfort her but she has gotten so used to this that the only way she'll go back to sleep is to nurse when she wakes up at night. I've tried giving her the pacifier but that just upsets her even more at times so i'm at a loss.
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