Your *Worst* Poop Story!

[Jessica at Parenting.com]

Have you seen our new slideshow -- Your Baby's Poop (http://www.parenting.com/gallery/Baby/Your-Babys-Poop)?

Learn more than you (probably) ever imagined about what lurks in your baby's diaper!

And reply to this message to share your craziest poop story. C'mon! You know you have at least one...

:p

[JWills]

Hehe my little brother (2 1/2 years) pulled a funny one the other day. My father had asked him if he had a poopie. Lil bro's response was "nooooo". He doesnt like having his diaper changed because it interupts whatever it is he may be doing at the time. So dad says, "come here and let me look" again, he is met with "NOOO!". So he snatches lil bro as he runs past, trying to escape the diaper change. He grabs his pants and diaper in one shot, and pulls them back to take a peek. My dads face when he realized what he just did was priceless. It turns out that the poop had wandered up toward the top of the diaper, and when he grabbed the diaper and pants, he had stuck his fingers in the poop. He yanked his hand back, complaining about how disgusting the diaper (and now his hand) was. I couldnt stop laughing, and lil bro seemed delighted as well.

[craftyashley]

Before the twins were born, we did a serious deep clean on the house because we knew that we probably wouldn't get to cleaning for a while. We had all the carpets professionally cleaned, etc. The first few weeks of bringing them home, they started with the neon yellow poo. My husband didn't quite have the diaper changing thing down yet. I remember one diaper change, he had just started putting a new one on, and the flying yellow poo started. It got everywhere- all over the carpet and rocking chair nearby. Bright, neon yellow! That stuff doesn't come out of fabrics well. You'd think we would have learned our lesson, right? No! We had to get new bedding because the same thing happened on our down comforter!

[savanahyson]

My 17 month daughter has recently learned the art of taking off her diaper, and i had to learn this the hard way... Before I was aware of this she would sleep in her crib in just a t-shirt a diaper. One morning about 7 am I heard her screaming and crying as usual when she wants out of bed. This being the normal routine I thought nothing of it and went back to sleep. When I woke back up I heard her still yelling in there so I decided it would be a good idea to check on her. Upon walking into her room I smell the distinct smell of poo...and then to my horror she is butt naked and covered in the stuff!! She had aparently been having a poo party while I was sleeping. I mean it was everywhere, her hands her blankets the rails of the crib her hair and even her face! It was quite a way to start the morning!

[baby carling 08]

My DH was over at a buddy's house when his potty training son was playing with his toy cars. The son ran up to tell his daddy about the fun game he had and when they all walked back to the boy's room, they noticed that the boy had taken his poop and drawn roads all in his bedroom and down the hall.

[ivegot4]

When baby #3 was a newborn, he got a little constipated. During the doctor's visit, I told the nurse about it, and she recommended a little "stimulation". She proceeded to show us with the thermometer and boy did it work. It looked like a poop bomb had exploded in the room. She was covered, the walls, the floor, and even his medical file were all donning the bright yellow stains. Worst part, when we came back for the next checkup, we were in the same room and the stain was still on the wall. They had to repaint! Needless to say, the nurse was not happy and we didn't see her again.

[cajuncat743]

I was changing a really messy diaper on my daughter, and my face was very close to her bottom wiping it when BLAM! she passes gas and some poop comes out with it, narrowly missing my face and getting on my hand. I let out a little "Ah!" and start cleaning up again, when she does it again! But this time it shot out a foot away and got all over the changing table and my arm!. So after letting out a slighty longer "Ah!" I hurry to clean it up so I can get a diaper on her, when she does it one last time and it projects three feet away, past the end of the changing table, hitting the ironing board against the wall. It was all over her legs and me AGAIN. I really screamed that time, and finally my husband calls from the bedroom, "what's the matter?!" All I can think to say is "She keeps POOPING!!"

[jenn_0629]

I have actually had to pull poop, hard poop, out of my son! He struggles so much, so I did that one day...yikes.

[baby carling 08]

I was changing a really messy diaper on my daughter, and my face was very close to her bottom wiping it when BLAM! she passes gas and some poop comes out with it, narrowly missing my face and getting on my hand. I let out a little "Ah!" and start cleaning up again, when she does it again! But this time it shot out a foot away and got all over the changing table and my arm!. So after letting out a slighty longer "Ah!" I hurry to clean it up so I can get a diaper on her, when she does it one last time and it projects three feet away, past the end of the changing table, hitting the ironing board against the wall. It was all over her legs and me AGAIN. I really screamed that time, and finally my husband calls from the bedroom, "what's the matter?!" All I can think to say is "She keeps POOPING!!"

I have to say, there is nothing like projectile poop....lol

[bvas81]

When I was starting to potty train my twins, I was to get them to go number 2 and the oldest did not want to period! He was crying that he wanted his diaper on. When i was trying to sit him down on the potty he bolted and i was chasing him around the sofa (with the potty seat in my hand..lol). While he was running he started to poop! It was gross and funny! All i saw was his bare hiney and plop, plop, plop! He ended up stepping on it and he was not happy about that! oh, and i have a friend he was trying to put diaper rash cream on her infant daughter and she was trying to be precise and gently so her face was very close. A little too close, i'd say! Well, her daughter ended up passing gas and had projectile poop and it landed on my friends lip!!!!! hahaha! ewww!

[Amboq07]

When my son was like a month he went to the dr for a check up. The nurse needed to check his temp..... as soon as she stuck the thermometer in his butt all you heard was a loud wet fart! lol And mushy poop gushed out like a hosepipe!! It was all over the scale, the wall and the nurse!! It was soo funny and embarrassing at the same time!

[fldsjf]

I just picked up my son from daycare and was at home making dinner. I looked over at my son and saw that his diaper had come loose and was hanging out the bottom of his shorts. when I went to pick him up I noticed the big ball of poop on the floor! It must have fallen out of his diaper. I quickly got some toilet paper and flushed it down. I did not tell my husband because he is such a neat freak and a germaphobe. He would have made me shampoo the entire floor.

[brandie1127]

Why is it always the boys?

[Sbzitz]

One time my dh had our dd on his lap reclining, she was only 3 months old, and we heard a nice little explosion, a little bit later he felt wet on his belly. Apparently her poop had exploded up her back and through her clothes onto him. He was thoroughly grossed out, yelling at me to get her as he dangled her off his lap, I couldn't move I was laughing so hard, my mom had to take care of the baby.

[lindseyh911]

My son is 2 and has learned how to take his diapers off, never a good thing. I had him dressed for bed in the "blanket jammies" that zip up from the foot to the neck. I noticed him standing on the couch, rubbing his hands back and for across his lower stomach. I asked if his tummy hurt and he said now, so I went back to picking up toys. Next thing I know he says "Poop, mommy", I asked if he needed changed, he just smiled and said "No". I waited a minute then checked him, the whole from of his PJ's was wet.
While he was rubbing his belly, he managed to undo the tabs on his diaper, which slid down the leg of his PJ on the inside, then he peed in his PJ's. His leg and foot were covered in poop and he was quite pleased with himself.

[Mom2Alex]

These are all funny stories!

When my baby was about a week and a half old, my BIL and SIL were visiting. Since I had sucha difficult labor, my husband and MIL had brought a changing pad and diapers downstairs and set it up on the kitchen counter right next to our sink. Well everyone was cooking in the kitchen when my son had pooped, so my SIL decided she'd come help me change his diaper. We weren't fast enough getting the new diaper on b/c he pooped again and it shot a few feet out. All over his changing pad, all over the counter, and allll over the CLEAN dishes in the dish drainer! My SIL couldn't believe how far his poop had shot! We were all laughing pretty hard though. Luckily it missed the green beans soaking on the other side of the sink.

Also, over THanksgiving we drove from WI to WV. On the way home we stopped in Indiana for the night. We weren't planning on stopping, so ALL of our bags were buried on the way bottom of the car. (Imagine 3 adults, 2 dogs, a baby, and a TON of stuff coming back home with us). We were about ready to leave, getting ds into his carseat, when all of a sudden we hear a huge explosion. I get him out to change him to find he had pooped through his diaper, onesie, and outfit. Luckily I always carry an extra change of clothes in his diaper bag. I change him, get him set, we get in the car and are on our way.

5 minutes in the car, another HUGE explosion. LOL So we stop at McDonald's to change him and get breakfast. NO changing table. So we change him in the booth. I'm about to eat, when he has ANOTHER explosion! Yup...pooped through his entire outfit again! Not just a tiny bit, but ALL over. So my poor DH has to dig our bag out in the sleet. I change him again, get him situated and decide I'll eat in the car since MIL and DH have finished eating.

We get in the car, just get on the highway when HE POOPS AGAIN! We pulled off and stopped at an Arby's thinking there HAD to be a changing table in the bathroom there. NOpe. Had to change him in the booth again. BOy was I getting looks from the employees...but what are you gonna do?

[emom26]

I had just finished breastfeeding my 3-month-old little boy when suddenly he surprised me with a BIG MESSY SURPRISE!!! He decided he needed to poop...and BOY DID HE! It was one of those explosive runny ones and IT WENT EVERYWHERE! It came out the side of his diaper-all down his leg, all over my stomach and onto the couch!!! I was mortified!! I was running around like a crazy person trying to decide what to clean first...the couch?! him?! me?! I'll never forget it!!

[kelly23]

I have been laughing like crazy reading these. I don't have any funny stories although I will say I stopped putting a cover on the changing pad pretty quick after my son was born. It's so much easier to clean when it's just the vinyl. Ok, I just thought of one. It's not as funny, but whatever. One night I was giving my son a bath and I was putting some stuff away that was on the bathroom counter and I heard a little grunt. I looked at him and he just smiled. Went back to what I was doing and a couple minutes later he did it again and then I see the floater in the tub! I yell out Oh No! Husband says What? I yell He pooped in the tub! Husband laughs and says have fun. So helpful right? I got my son's plastic shovel and scooped it out and flushed it, drained the tub, put son in the shower and hose him off and 409 the tub like crazy. I did clean the shovel too.

[lou]

my son's six months and loves to hold his legs and feet. so I'm changing this explosively poopy diaper and while I'm holding his feet in the air and reaching for a wipe (or ten) he reaches down and grabs hold of his rear with both hands of course getting them covered in poo and then lets go to reach up towards his face about to suck on his fingers. so of course I let go of his feet to catch his hands and clean them, so he starts kicking his feet and laughing and of course now his feet and legs are covered in poo. consequently the diaper changing took awhile, and you know what happens when little boys are uncovered, he then peed, everywhere, the changing table, my arm his clothes, and his head, the wall and the floor. needless to say a bath came next. I never thought in my entire life that I'd be cleaning urine out of another human's ear with a que tip!

[heatherbaker76]

Mine aren't quite as funny as some I've read...

I was in the bathtub with my infant son...seemed to be the only way I could get him to take a bath without screaming. I yelled out for my husband to come and help. When he opened the bathroom door in a hurry, he asked what was wrong. I told him that our son had pooped (the very runny variety), so I had to get both of us out of the tub and washed off quickly. My husband's response: he said to my son, "That was a good one," which is what we told him when he had a good burp or fart.

My husband's first poopy diaper change with our son...I was in the living room listening to him change our son in the bedroom. I couldn't stop laughing as I heard comments like "Good Lord," "I thought you said baby poop doesn't stink," "How can so much poop come out of someone so small" and "I should've worn the welding mask and rubber gloves," (which is exactly what he wore when we first moved into our rental house and he cleaned the toilet because I was pregnant).

[gabriellekinder]

We were at Disney World this past summer. We had a 3 year old and 7 month old at the time. It was a rainy day and we had been standing in line for 90 minutes to experience the new Toy Story ride. Kendyl had to use the restroom, so dad took her to the mens room and held her over the toliet so she wouldnt touch it. When she pulled her pants back up, she asked why they were wet. He didn't want to tell her that she actually peed on them instead of in the toliet. So he blamed it on the rain. Time went by and it was not hot and humid, she wanted on his shoulders. The pee on her pants was now on daddy's shoulders and it did kinda have an odor. As we were leaving, the baby was fussy. Dad then took him. He was holding him and noticed that he was extremley wet, (just thinking it was his bottle he had just dumped), he unbuttoned his shirt and it was actually an explosive poop! All the way up the front and back of him. Daddy had a white polo shirt on that had already reeked of urine and now he had a nice large yellow poop stain on the front of his white polo. We had to wait at least 30 minutes for our bus to get there from our hotel and daddy was cover from his neck to his waist pee and poo. I couldn't help but laugh, thank god it was him and not me!!!

[bobbys-mommy]

When my son was born he was diagnosed with hemophilia A. We found this out when he was snipped. Well, diaper chaning was a two person job! So I was the wiper and my husband was the foot holder. The poor guy! My son, only three weeks at the time, gave the biggest loudest fart you could ever imagine. I couldn't contain myself. My husband was gagging. I thought that was funny till he did it again...even louder. My husband screamed and when I looked up, he was covered!

[Willbearsmom]

I was changing my little sister's poopy diaper (I was only 10!) and I turned around to grab the wipes and turned back to the diaper and the poop wasn't there!! After a split second of confusion I looked up just in time to stop her from sticking the poop right in her mouth! I grabbed her arm and held it down while I screamed for my mom. I wasn't touching that!!


My next one was with my son when he was just a week old. I was feeding me and I heard the all too familiar poop noises. I stood up to take him to the changing table when all the sudden I felt something warm and wet go splat on my foot. I didn't want to look down and screamed for my husband when I did! I had yummy poop all down my pant leg and my foot. The worst part was getting him to the changing table to find that the daiper was as clean as when I had put it on him! He had totally missed the diaper!

[callmemommy]

Motherhood is Hard as Sh**......
Becoming a mother is a wonderful, spiritual thing. When you hold your baby for the first time, after what could only seem like an eternityof waiting and you feel that all is right in the world, and nothing could be better than this. But what everyone forgets to tell you is that these precious little things grow, and while they still remain very dear to you and you love them with all your heart they can also strech you nerves like a rubber band that is getting ready to snap and hit you right in the face.
SMACK right in the face. Standing in my kitchen holding my one month old helping my eight year old with homework my 2 1/2 year old, Emma, mossies down the stairs wearing nothing but a grin on her face. I look at her, covered in what I could only assume is chocolate and ask her where did she get the chocolate? As I aprroach her it becomes abundantly clear that it is not chocolate. Covering my face I ask her why did you do that, she responds in what Matt I have named her Kermit voice, its the voice she gets when she doesnt like something, a low throating voice, "Mommy I pooped". "I know that!" I said, "But why is all over you?". Let me make clear what all over you means, of course its smeared all over her little butt, and I am guesing she must have squished it between her fingers because it's all over her hands and in her fingernails, and I assume she didn't like the way it felt so she tried getting it off by wiping her hands all over her legs! Try to imagine the horror of the whole thing. I couldn't help but to go into a stare looking at her in disbelief with a smile on my face to reassure her that I wasn't mad, because after all she is two and was probably just curious..gag....when I finally come to, I realize that if it is on her and the diaper is missing then where is the rest of the carnage. So reluctantly I ask her "where is the diaper and is it on anything else?" Again Kermit responds "All over the doll house" "Oh my God!! are you serious is that all it's on" I am trying with all my might not totally loose it and I have yet to see the results of her curiosity. " Well its on the chair too, I'm sorry Mommy" she says in her sweetest voice. Emma is very good at knowing when she is about to be in trouble and can turn on the cuteness like nobodies business. It's like she's talking me down from the edge when she knows that being a mom has brought me to the point of jumping, metaphorically of course. She can be a life saver even if she is the cause of my frustration. So I pick her up under her arm pits and carry her holding her out as far away from my body as possible, ya know the way you carry something when it smells real bad. But this was a smell like no other smell, I swore I would have to bathe her in tomatoe juice. So I take her upstairs and put her in the bath room while I go to check out the crime scene. She certainly wasn't lying, there it was an empty diaper and, how can I put this nicely....forget nice, sh** everywhere! On the Barbie house, on the rug, on the new bean bag chair and on a few Barbies. Then I turned into one of those people in the movies, when something terrible has happened and begin to cry out with WHY! WHY! WHY! WHY!. Realizing that no matter how dramatic I was or even how badly I wanted the mess to disappear that it wasn't going anywhere unless I cleaned it. So I hunkered down for the clean up with gloves and nose plugs and I cleaned up the result of my decision to become a mother....a whole lot of sh**

[amc3585]

Well recently I found out my 2 month old little girl is allergic to lactose so the doctor suggested we put her on soy, but because the soy can constipate babies he suggested giving her juice every other day as a supplement in order to keep her regular. So after a few days of being on the soy formula, being a first time mom, I went to the store and bought a variety pack of juice. I was at the mall with my sister and i fed her a pear juice while we walked around. An hour later I realize she has pooped finally and needs a diaper change. We were in the bathroom and I had her on the changing table and when I pulled her diaper off it was full! Her diaper was over flowing with diahrrehea! When i wiped her I obviously stimulated her and all of a sudden liquid poop comes shooting out of my child like a water hose!!! Every time she tried to poop it was a huge stream of liquid poop water! It shot out all over me, my sister, and the walls of the bathroom! My little girl just layed there smiling and laughing at herself in the mirror! It was horrible!! She will NEVER get pear juice again!!

[tjoiner]

I don't think my fiance and I will ever forget this experience. At 2 my son had this habit of wiping his hands in his hair. If his hands were dirty his hair was his paper towel. One evening while we were shooting the breeze downstairs my fiance went to go check on our son in his play pen and immediately noticed a foul order while ascending the stairs. The next thing I knew all I heard was a loud, "OH MY GOD!". I ran upstairs thinking something was wrong and it was. He used his poop as a crayon and decided to "draw" all over the wall, his playpen and finally used his hair as the papertowel. Clean up was disastrous and it took him 2 episodes of doing this before he finally got it in his baby brain to not put his hands in his diaper again.

[tarheelmom08]

This happened when my son was about 2 months old. I was feeding him on a pillow on my lap and he blew out the diaper. It was on my arm, the pillow, my lap, not to mention on the baby. So I asked my husband to change him while I got cleaned up. I was washing my arm in the sink when my husband says, "uh, gaa, I gah poo ii my mouu" I started laughing, knowing full well what he had said I said, what? "I gah poo ii mah mou". Translation: I guess some poop was on the onsie and when my husband unsnapped it, poo flung up and into his mouth. How disgusting.... and funny. Needless to say, I changed all the poopie diapers for the next 6 months.

This one is about my niece. She was probably 18 months old... her dad was "watching" her while my sister and I were messing with the computer. I hear Giulia repeating, "sticky, mommy, sticky". She said it to daddy too and then came back to us, "sticky, mommy". We turned to see poo on the floor, trailed from us to daddy, and Giulia with one brown hand and the other hand down the back of her diaper. Very funny to me because I didn't have to clean it up!

[newbiemom19]

Maggie must have only been a week old and I had just finished feeding her. While I was burping her I can hear her pass gas and thought nothing of it, until I felt something warm on my leg. It had leaked out of the side of her diaper! So I'm sitting on the couch, still sore, yelling for my hubby to come and grab her. He come's around the corner and is instantly gagging after one look. LMAO!

So far during her life (she's 3 1/2 months now) she has only pooped and peed on me. For some odd reason daddy has been extremely lucky...

[kmichael14]

I have three, actually, lol!

On the night my son was born, when the nurse was about to give him his sponge bath, he pooped all over the warming area and the nurse's hand! It got all over his blanket... And it kept coming, too!

Then, on the day we took him home, I had him in a gorgeous white sleeper, he was asleep... and then I smelled a raunchy smell. "Oh god," I thought, and unbuttoned his sleeper... Sure enough, bright yellow stains EVERYWHERE in his diaper, all over his leg, on his pretty white sleeper... We've washed that sleeper a thousand times and there's still a small stain.

FINALLY...
On the Fourth of July, my mother and I were taking him to see our family. I was expecting him to poop, but nothing in the morning, which was weird for him. I thought nothing of it when we took him downstairs to her Jeep. Sure enough, my mom mentioned that she felt a full diaper. "Probably just a wet diaper," we thought, and opened up the back of the Jeep and laid him down. Sure enough, little man decided to start pooping then. It was like play-doh! It kept coming out and we had to angle the diaper to keep him from spraying us. We used almost an entire thing of wipes because we got it on our hands and he kept sticking his feet in it. Ewwww.

[dd]

Well, my story is actually more my husband's. It's also a great "I told you so" story.

There was one weekend a couple of months ago (dd was about 4 months) when, for some reason my daughter was not pooping. Every time she would nurse, she would wiggle and squirm, and when I lay her down, she would pound her abdomen and squirm. I knew she was needing to go, but she just wasn't. That Saturday night she woke up at least three times, inconsolable. I told my DH that I thought it was because she needed to poop and hadn't been able to. He disagreed. Since we were up early, we decided to go to church. After church my husband graciously told me to take a nap and he would take care of the baby. Later, my husband came in the room, woke me up after my 3 hour nap with a look on his face that said, "I am so mad, and I will not admit I was wrong even though I was." He said he had tried to feed our DD, she wasn't interested, so he had set her down in her infant seat while he watched tv. He heard her making sounds like she was passing gas, but he didn't pay attention. The next thing he knew, my DD was making noises to let him know she was uncomfortable, and he picked her up to discover the entire front of her shirt dripping in poop! She had finally been able to go and I guess she let it all out at once. My DH (who had thought about waking me up to clean it, but didn't, thankfully) gave her a double bath. She was so tired from not sleeping all night that she went straight to bed without eating until after my 3 hour nap was done.

I love this story because my husband was the one who had to clean it up. It's almost like the ultimate I-told-you-so.

[Zack_Jenn]

We were visiting my parents and my daughter was eating cheerios in the high chair. We were all sitting around talking in the kitchen when she started to grunt and fart. I figured I would let her finish before taking her out, but for some reason went to walk past her and saw poop. It was literally coming out of the neck and arm holes of her dress and oozing out of her extremely full tights. I still will never understand how so much poop could come out of something so little and so fast! I simply threw away the dress & tights because I didn't think it was worth trying to clean them out.

[angiem8705]

These stories are hilarious!

My DD got me good once when she was 3 weeks. i was changing her legs up wiping and BLAM right in my face, on the tv behind me, all down her pack'n'play, the bedside table, everywhere. luckily my friend was just arriving to visit and i just handed her the baby so i could wash up but her pack'n'play still has a huge stain. its clean but badly discolored. i just couldn't believe how far it shot!

she is now 7 months and discovered she can remove her diapers. fun fun. today she pooped and took her diaper off and was rolling ni it. luckily DH saw it first so he got the joy of cleaning it.

[Angelsrose12]

I wonder how many of you have ever had to collect a stool sample from a 6 mo old baby! I guarentee I will NEVER forget when I had to for our DD. She was between 6 and 7 mo old and had diarea (sp?) for a couple of days. We called the doctor and they told us they needed a stool sample so to come and pick up the kit. When we got there they handed us a collection jar and said that the sample could not be taken out of a diaper because the fibres would contaminate the sample. We asked how and the only 2 suggestions were to lay her on a blanket naked and wait (she was rolling by then) or to put saran wrap along the inside of the diaper. We took matters into our own hands...litteraly! I had found that whenever we took her temperature, she had a bowel movement, so thats what we did. And the fountain started. I wish I had a video camera, because we could have made major money on one of those video shows! By the end we were laughing and crying at the same time! It was everywhere, but we got the sample! Ironically enough, we didn't get the results until a week later and all of them were negative!

[Jenandcourtfan]

Mine was by my 4 month old son. He pooped all up his back. All the way to his hair............................. EW!!!!!!!!

[annekesmom]

When my daughter was 10 mos., she had 2, count 'em, 2 diaper blow-outs during the same flight. And I was flying solo with her. Thanks, hubby!

[gizmogarey@comcast.net]

Summer 2009 has brought countless miracles to the Garey gang.

My daughter Amanda fell in love, I fell over the dog and cats only a few times and broke only a couple of bones, and all of the tumbles my three-year-old grandchild “Horrible Childe” Lexie took resulted in random boo-boos quickly resolved with kisses and colorful bandages lavishly supplied by Mommy and Nana. All of our rescued animals were made healthy, neutered and adopted by loving families. Even our “foster” pets were reunited with their families. Yes, life this summer has been good.

But this is not to say that we haven’t encountered any significant hurdles, not the least of which has been the challenge of potty-training a reluctant Lexie. Simultaneously, a course in proper litter box usage has been directed toward Betsy and Smudge, two ten-week-old rescued kittens. For awhile there, I felt genuinely concerned about my grandchild - was she going to be out of diapers before I was into them? Expert advice was sought and every suggestion tried, all to no avail…begging, offers of tiny tangible rewards, an ornately decorated potty chair; heck, I even learned to do a personalized version of the ”Potty Dance” that would garner me a perfect 10 in a “So You Think You Can Dance” contest! No success.

Resigned to the fact that Lexie would accept the inevitable at her own pace, I decided to let her run around naked and turned my attention to the kittens and their hygiene habits. A new container was purchased, filled with the soft, scoopable litter and placed in a convenient location. To ensure they understood that a number of boxes was available, each containing a different type of litter, both Betsy and Smudge were hand-carried to each site and encouraged to sniff and sift through the contents. They sniffed. They sifted. They scampered off leaving fantastic designs worthy of crop circles, headed to the kitchen and promptly pooped in a tray of cat crunchies.

“No, kitties,” Amanda laughingly scolded. “That’s bad kitties.” The other cats spoke volumes, meowing frantically at the desecration of their snack. Molly, true to her maternal nature, loudly expressed her displeasure and gave each of her foster babies a quick whack on the bottom, washed the duo thoroughly, then curled around them for a quick catnap.

Lexie was disturbed by the behavior of her feline counterparts. “Kitties not go potty, Nana?” she queried. “No,” I replied. “The kitties were naughty. Do you want to go potty, Lexie?”

“No” was her immediate response, bare bottom bouncing as she toddled away, anxious to resume tickling Elmo. With patience worthy of Job, I disposed of the mess left by Betsy and Smudge, washed and refilled the tray, then went about my daily routine.

The afternoon was uneventful; I continued carrying Smudge and Betsy to one litter box or the other, Lexie in tow, and lost count of how many times I urged all of my babies to become civilized. After dinner, a small victory - with complete nonchalance, the kittens ambled to their own box, relieved themselves…. and the crowd went wild! “I’m so proud of you,” I praised into their tiny ears. “What good kitties you are.” Amidst cheers, loving strokes and tuna treats, they ambled back to Molly for a congratulatory romp.

But there was even more rejoicing when next I invited Lexie to go potty. She grinned, wrinkled her nose and announced, “I go potty, Nana!” Bemused I checked her bottom and noticed that she had indeed pooped, but there was no evidence in her toilet. “But, Lexie, where did you…” Before the question was posed, the tot took my hand and led me down the hallway. “See,” she directed me, tiny finger pointing proudly toward her accomplishment. In the very center of Betsy and Smudge’s litter box was a little-girl-sized mound of feces. “I go potty,” she repeated.

The accolades and celebrations were no less subdued, although a cookie was awarded for her accomplishment instead of tuna. Between peals of laughter, Amanda and I explained the differences between litter boxes and potties for big girls. Lexie nodded, all the wisdom of the world reflected in her silvery blue eyes. And the next day, all three babies had achieved sanitary success.

Who says that miracles don’t happen every day?

[cryscrys24]

My son was just 2 weeks old. I had a long day and went to take a long hot shower while my husband took over baby duty. I got out of the shower so nice and refreshed, put on the PJs and my big plush robe. I went downstairs and my husband was trying to change the baby's diaper. I (now feeling I could take on the world) offered to take over. I laid the baby on the couch next to me and as I opened his peepee diaper BOOM projectile poop! It went all over my nice plush robe! Luckily only my robe so I was able to take it off and throw it in the washer and I was clean (but I didn't feel clean).

[jocelynmadsen]

When my youngest was about 2 months old he stopped pooping every feeding and started pooping about twice a week. Well, as you might imagine, there's still the same amount of poop weekly, so instead of lots of "dirty farts" there is just a couple of weekly explosions instead. He usually does them first thing in the morning, probably because he does morning leg lifts/slams in the crib when he first wakes up. One morning we were in a hurry and he hadn't had a bath in 3 days and smelled like stinky cheese and we were going somewhere important (I don't remember where), so I grabbed him and threw him in the plastic baby tub. Well, apparently it was pooping day and because we hadn't left him to play in the crib he hadn't done his morning aerobics, and the water must have been perfectly relaxing because he pooped in the bath. So I crabbed, took him out, dumped the water, cleaned the tub, refilled it and threw the baby back in. And he pooped again. We did this four times before I threatened to stick a cork in it and he stopped. My husband was in the kitchen feeding the oldest and they were both laughing up a storm listening to me ranting.

[mfjohnston]

I was sitting in the McDonald's play area watching my two little girls, Hannah (4) and Mackenzie (2) play. I noticed Mackenzie climbing down from the slide carefully holding something in one of her hands. As she walked towards me I realized that she was carrying a handful of her poop, at least, I think it was her poop. She and Hannah were the only kids there at the time.

[Halonnah]

My daughter, 15 mo. old now, she was just into the walking stage, and I had just given her a bath...I had brought her into the room towel and all and all of a sudden after I quickly noticed a funny face, there was poop! Little terds, about three of them, then I quickly cleaned them up before she smeared them or stepped in them any further....and....there was a mystery poop.....I didn't know where it was coming from, but somehow it was getting everywhere! I searched, I looked, I really was stunned as to the location of this glob of poop....oh my gosh, where is the poop, I said to myself...finally before she could grab it...I got it! Ew! Ew! Ew!

[byronsmom]

i'm laughing so hard i think i might have peed myself....lmao.

ok this happened lets just say recently, byrons 17 months and hates diaper changes... hates them. so he will go off into the corner of his room to do a stinky. then he'll run from me till i get hold of him. well this one after getting him, here i am cleaned this stinky butt when he starts to wiggle and tries to roll over. i wasn't quick enough so there he goes running from room to room, with 1 butt cheeck cleaned the other covered in stink. i finally caught him and cleaned him up in the tub. on the way out toward his room i step in something.

byron fell once right in the entrance to his room and i steped in it. oh well atleast i got the stain up before dh came home.....lol

[tiredmomoftwo]

My daughter was about 4 months old, suffering from a cold...I went to get her up from a nap and smelled the poo as soon as I walked into her room. It was everywhere..I had to change her, the sheets and her blanket. As I'm changing her on the changing table, she rolls over and throws up. So I'm trying to clean the poo and make sure her head doesn't get in the vomit. THEN, right after all of that, I took her into my room to be on the computer-she's there sitting on my lap and sneezes snot all over my arm. She had stuff coming from every hole in her body. It was not a good day.

[JustBatty]

LOL, My In-laws, my husband and I were going on a trip to Hawaii with my 3 mo. old son at the time. My in-laws had borded the plane and we were waiting for our bording group to be called when all of a sudden my son EXPLODED! Mustard colored feces all the way up his back to his arm pits! I grabbed the diaper bag and RAN to the nearest changing station. I ripped ALL of his clothes off and threw them away (No Time to try and save them). Wipe after wipe after wipe I cleaned as fast as I could all the while listening to the final boarding call on the intercom system for my flight. I wrapped my completely naked son in a receiving blanket and ran diaper bag in tow to the terminal only to find out they had only promised my husband 1 more min. of waiting and I only had 15 seconds left! I boarded the plane completely frazzled with my relieved husband and naked baby to sit in my seat as everyone I passed laughed to themselves and gave me the look of sympathy. Later on the flight after we were in the air, I put a diaper on my son and sat back to finally relax when I noticed I had the same mustard color all the way up the sleve of my shirt!

[sabby]

when my daughter was born, she had a bowl problem. She had continual diarrhea (No. 3) and horrible gas (so bad, it just gagged everyone!) Well, one morning, I took her out of her diaper and wrapped her in a small blanket. Well, I smelled something terrible and didn't think too much of it just thinking it was gas. Well, it wasn't. She was having no. 3 in the blanket, it got everywhere below! Let's just say, that blanket was wrapped up and tossed. Plus, since she was born, I learned how it comes out too! All the times I changed her and she's end up going.

[verity214]

When our daughter was about 7 months old, my husband had this great idea that we should all try going to the movies. We decided to go to one of the "Dollar Theaters" so it wouldn't be so bad if we had to leave early. When we get there, my husband chooses "Dark Knight". (I really don't watch TV or movies so I had no idea what it was about...or how long it was!) So we get all of the snacks and get settled in. Not only does out daughter become extremely wrestless and disruptive, half way through the movie she takes a monster poop. When I take her to the bathroom to try and change her, I find that there are no changing tables to be found. I refuse to lay her down on the floor or sink area so I go into the handicap bathroom and attempt to change her in my lap. When I get her pants down and open her diaper, poop comes rolling out of the diaper, rolls all down my leg and lands in a very large pile on the floor. She also has leaked through all of her clothes too.
I am able to wipe myself off a bit with wipes and get the floor clean still sitting with my daughter in my lap. I get her cleaned off and in a new diaper. When I begin looking for clothes in the diaper bag that my husband had packed, there nothing but a pair of capris pants and a tank top (it's November in Western New York)!
I proceed to put these clothes on her, wrap her in my coat and we sit in the car with the heater blasting until my husband decides to join us once the movie is over, which happens to be an hour later!

[jolenem1982]

my daughter has roaming hands when she is getting her diaper changed and decided to stick her fingers into the open diaper when i was trying to wipe her clean then she stuck her fingers in her mouth yuck

[Lindsey73]

When my son was about 2 months old i was changing him and i guess he hadn't finished because he squirted poop all over the wall!!! Thank God it missed me and my mother who was standing by! Im glad it came off the wall and didnt stain cuz its my parents house. We laughed so hard we almost peed ourselves.

[mamatiff]

A few months ago I was holding my son and my husband who was sitting in the chair next to our couch realized he had filled his diaper. I look down and realize that the diaper had leaked. Not only did it leak on my but all over the couch, it had poured out all over and in it. The odd thing was there was absolutely no poo on his clothes, just me and the couch.

[ltille20]

i did not read through all of these yet, but the ones i did were sooo funny!!!

my son only had breastmilk until a little over 5 months, lets just say we had a lot of stories with the yellow diareah! but the funniest one (well NOW anyways, ha), was when i was changing him, i lefted his feet in one of my hands so i could clean the butt area, and he acted as a BUTT CANNON, and it literally shot 2 feet or so, and got all over my sweater and the couch behind me!!! you think i would have learned to change him side ways, but i still change him facing me, luckily nothing like that happened again. so far...

[MommyToConnor]

Well my story is about my husband changing the diaper. While he had the baby on the floor changing him, Connor starting pooping more. My husband tried to catch it to spare our white carpet. As I was watching, it looked like ice cream coming out of a machine. It was so funny (not to my husband, though).

[FutureRNmomma]

My son is only 6 mo. so I'm sure I'll have worse poops in the future. About a month ago I got out of the shower and found my son was crying very hard, so I decided to tend to him before getting dressed. There I am, sitting on the couch with him in my lap, barely covered by a towel and his face gets all red and I hear a huge, squishy fart. Now he's smiling and I feel so much better that he's happy. I pick him up to take him back to bed and I realize that his little poop was not so little...nor was it confined to his diaper. I had slimy, green, runny poo on my thighs, running down my legs, on the couch and on the floor. So after cleaning him up and putting him to bed, I jumped back into the shower.

[aleksa22]

my baby she is a great girl just her pooping man....thats another story. when my baby was almost two months i took her with me to my cousins babyshower, she had been having trouble with her digestion. although there was a lot of noise she stayed asleep, she woke up ate then a while later i went to change her diaper. it wasnt dirty she had just gotten it wet. while i was changing her i turned around to talk to my cousin to my surprise she was ready to poop since i was stretching her legs down towards her stomach...her poopy was so explosive it jumped all the way to my pants and boots and my cousins bed. i felt so embarrased then after she pooped i tought she was done so i started cleaning her and it almost got my face haha....thank God the baby shower was at my cousins house so she lent me some pants and shoes. so the whole time i stayed there i was wearing some oversize pants and some grandma shoes haha but better than poop all over

[AlexandraKate]

A few weeks ago I was changing my then 5 month old daughter in the middle of the night. Only the nightlight was on, so it was pretty dim in the room. She had a huge diaper FULL of poop, and once I got it off of her I set it down on the bed intending to throw it away once I put the new diaper on her. Needless to say I was exhausted, and wasn't really paying attention to what she was doing even though I noticed she was fiddling with something. So I finish changing her, throw the diaper away and get both of us back into bed, but I can't help but notice the room still stinks of poo. Curious, I turn the light on and look for the culprit, only to see my little girl covered in poo! She had been playing with the poopy diaper the whole time I was changing her! Priceless.