View Full Version : MIL strikes again!
10-22-2008, 08:27 PM
So this time my husband and I are at his mothers and the topic of the baby's name comes up. Now I dread this conversation always from all sides because everyone has an opinion. He is 50% Italian, 50% Irish with an Irish last name. I am an american mut! My dad is 100%German, my mom falls somewhere between Native American, Castillian (spanish), Scottish and Dutch - Go figure! I tend to like the Italian names, my family thinks they are inappropriate because I am so "white" (even though my mom is very "olive" :) ) and his last name is Irish. I could care less about their opinions so we have decided to not disclose the babies name until her birth-day. Besides the opinions we have NO CLUE what we are naming her. We can't agree on ANYTHING. He likes names like Amber, Ashley, Katie, Emily etc and I like classic names like Sophia, Isabella, Madelyn, Adrianna, Elaina etc. ( Maybe we can settle on Elaina ... he can call her Laney if he wants) :)
Anyway onto the MIL, we start talking about names and I happen to mention jokingly that maybe we would name the baby after his cousin - the only girl in the family ( before his niece that is) but my cousin just named her baby that same name so it is definitely out. ( Not that I like it anyway we were just conversing). I made it CLEAR that we were JOKING and were in NO way naming our baby that.
Well you know what she did! She ran around and told his family that we were naming the baby after his cousin!!!!!!!!!! I found this out last week and I tested her yesterday - trying to give her the benefit of a doubt maybe she missunderstood us I said MULTIPLE times on the phone "we really need to figure out what we are going to name this baby - we still have NO clue" I waited for her to say,"Oh I thought you were naming her .....) but NO, nothing!
So she obviously DIDN"T misunderstand us she just felt like saying whatever she wants.
The thing that pisses me off the most ... I really like his cousin and when she shows up to the hospital and expects the baby to have her name and she doesn't I don't want her feelings to be hurt. Granted she may not even care ... but if she did ... that would suck!
I can't even say anything to her about it because his brothers wife is the one who told me and I can't let our MIL know we unite against her like secret agents! :)
10-22-2008, 09:07 PM
Just have your SIL talk to the cousin. She could say you talked about names and really have no clue what you are naming her. She could bring it up all casual like(secret agent style.) I like the name Alaina. Very Irish with an Italian feel.
10-22-2008, 09:39 PM
Good luck! I really wanted to name my last daughter after one of my sisters. I ended up not because my MIL was so insistant we name her after her because she is the most important person(her quote not mine). We ended up naming her after me just so we did not have to deal with the drama. This is her middle name, I never wanted any of my children's first names to be after anyone. We also agreed not to tell anyone the name until we had her just so we did not have to hear all of the opinions and suffer through all the drama. My MIL was a little pissy after she found out her name but she will get over it, although she does still call her the wrong name..by accident? One of the names we had really liked was Sophia too. I say name your child what you want, maybe the cousin will just have to find out your MIL was being dishonest.
10-24-2008, 03:12 PM
Good luck, maybe you should speak to the cousin and let her know that it was a misunderstanding and you haven't decided on a name yet.
I also hate people giving their opinions on what you should name your child. I get it a lot from my neighbors who only started speaking to me when they notice I was pregnant. So I just decided to just tell people that no I don't have a name and we will wait till the baby is born to name him, evne though we already picked it out.
11-01-2008, 06:43 PM
I have a little rant of my own. Recently I asked my MIL if she still had the highchair we gave her, and she says that she gave it to the church. I then asked her why, and she answered that she thought she was done having grandbabies. As if she was the one who gave birth, and that was definatlely not her decision. At no time did my DH and I keep our desire to have another baby a secret. Now she tells me I need to sell my maternity clothes. I told her I'm keeping them for the time being, just incase. She then said, "Oh, your done having children, sell the clothes." Again, not her decision.
11-01-2008, 08:45 PM
Cay I have the opposite problem with mt MIL. I have three children three and under and she wants me to have another one right away. She says this is my purpose in life and I should just keep having as many babies as I can. She thinks anyone who says they do not want more children is "an idiot"! She has gone so far as to steal my BC! Wouldn't it be great if we as women could just support each other's decisions and not try to make them for each other! When I mentioned bringing some of my kids things to a consignment shop she got upset!
11-02-2008, 03:56 PM
Ugghhhh Cay! That would piss me off. My DH wants a third dog and even though I have my hands full with the two that I have, the dog stuff is completely our business. I was out today with my grandmom (on our georgia trip ) and we saw a dog that is the same breed that he wants. I took a picture with my phone and emailed it too him she started giving me crap saying, " DOn't do that, he'll think its ok to get the dog and when you get home he'll have one waiting for you" so I said I'm sending the picture and then she said just don't tell him how much it costs. I was so offended! I said, Don't tell me about what to do in my house, if we lived with you it would be different. She apparently thinks a third dog is "absurd" and it is .... but thats OUR business! We have to work it out.
And as for MIL - she thought that us getting the second dog was a sign that we had decided we weren't going to be having children ... ( crazy I know one has nothing to do with the other) anyway she was quite upset when we got her. and even said at that time if you get a third dog I'm going to have a heart attack!
Why do women outside of our home think its ok to comment on what goes on inside of our home!
11-02-2008, 07:37 PM
If it makes you feel any better, I have two MIL stories to share too!
First one, is when I was preggo with my first born. We found out she was a girl at our twenty week ultrasound. When I told my mom she was over the moon with excitement. So, next we call my husband's mom, and I was so excited bc she said she had always wanted a girl...so to me, I thought a granddaughter would be the next best thing! What was her reaction? Her exact words which I will never forget, "Oh, I kinda was hoping for a boy". She totally popped my bubble and I thought she should be happy with whatever grandchild God gave her. And even if that's what she was hoping for, she should have kept it to herself!
And then we were at Seaworld, my first born daughter was 17 months old. A couple walked by with a teeny baby in a stroller and I pointed the baby out to hubby saying "how cute" the baby was...she looked at me, and snapped "you better watch out, your uterus is going to fall out". Um..if that Duggar lady can have 17+ children I can definitely have a second with my uterus intact, thank you! And I was just admiring the baby, and yes I was thinking of another baby soon but that wasn't really her business anyways! Well, that was September, and we found out the day after xmas of the same year we were expecting our second. My daughter is now 3.5yrs old and my little boy is 14 almost 15 months old.
She is very happy with our children and seems to enjoy them but I can never get these things out of my mind. She was so harsh when she said them! Ugh.
11-05-2008, 11:33 AM
She was part of the reason I originally started the thread about hating my pregnancy. One of the comments I think I'll never get over was: In December I was in the hospital with a blood clot. In January I was back in the hospital at the time they told me I could not have any form of Birth Control my body can't handle the estrogen - they also said how important it was for me to not get pregnant for a year. Well we were being very careful and in May they had just taken me off of the blood thinners and we went to a wedding and I could finally drink. To make a long story short - we concieved the baby THAT NIGHT! :) When we told his mother( this woman who had been PUSHING us to have kids) she was not happy, a week later I was talking to her and she said. I don't know why you just don't "get rid of IT" why would you put yourself and my son through a high risk pregnancy. I told her I was waiting for my first dr. appt. before I knew what I was going to do - she said "I don't see why you would wait that long, if you do it now you can just take a pill and you'll get your period and it will be over" I WAS SO HURT! I know the point she was trying to make - but did she have to say it like THAT it was completely insensitive. Anyway my dr. said this pregnancy or one 10 years from now - I'll still have the same risk!
Then she has the nerve to say,"your unhappiness about this pregnancy scares me ... its supposed to be the happiest time of your life" I want to scream at her I'm only unhappy when I talk to YOU cause YOU make me MISERABLE!
11-07-2008, 06:20 PM
although she does still call her the wrong name..by accident?
That's funny. My grandma wanted to name my dad Charlie but couldn't because my grandpa fought in the Vietnam War, so she nicknamed him that & wouldn't call him John.
When I was born, she was really mad that my mom didn't name me Jessica, so she referred to me as Jessica for the first few weeks.
Then she got mad that they didn't name my little brother Charlie, and did the same thing with him!
01-25-2009, 08:31 PM
I'm really big on unique first names. My son got the short end of the deal on that since we followed family tradition and named our first born son, "Charles." We call him Chaz. However, my oldest daughter is Persephone (Per-sef-a-knee). When my second husband and I got pregnant and found out we were having a girl, we decided to keep with the Greek Mythology theme, and named our daughter Ariadne (Air-e-ad-knee). My MIL HATED that name. She has called her "Addie" since the day she was born. No matter how many times my husband or myself have talked to her about it, she just blows us off. Now my daughter is 4 and everytimes she comes home from grandma's house, she complains that she doesn't like it when grandma calls her "Addie." I'm divorced now and have limited contact with my ex-MIL, and I really have no way to correct her. I just feel bad for my daughter because I grew up being called a nickname by my family that I didn't like, and it bugs me to this day.
01-26-2009, 10:35 AM
OOOO My grandmom called me MUFFIN me whole life as in Bran-muffin! Go ahead laugh it up! As I got older it totally replaced my name and even ended up getting shortened ( a nickname of a nickname) to MUFF! Now what does that make you think of ... to this day mail comes addressed to my home from her with MUFF written above my address instead of my name! I'm 26 years old and stopped fighting her on it long ago!
To make it worse she had a toy poodle named "Muffy" when I was a baby!
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