Son hiding sister's panties... ??

[katiemudhen]

In advance, thank you for reading and especially for any thoughts you have on this topic.

This evening as I pulled my 6-year old Son's pajamas out of his drawer I found two pairs of panties belonging to his 9 & 11-year old sisters. When I asked him why I they were there he immediately buried his face under his pillow and responded with, "I don't know". When I asked him to look at me his face was burnt red with embarrasment. I asked him if he had hid them in the drawer and he admitted that he had. Of course he couldn't give me a reason for WHY he had done this. I told him that those were his sister's personal clothes and that he needed to leave them alone. I also reminded him that he has his very own very cool Batman underwear.

Is this normal for a young boy? I should mention that his father and I are divorced and he sees his dad every other weekend. Does this make a difference? I didn't have brothers growing up so this is all foreign to me!

[justadad]

I think dad talking about it with him would work.

[War_Eagle]

My computer's acting funny so just disregard this. I'll come back when I can answer in more detail. The short answer is, this isn't an emergency so don't worry too much about it.

[brandie1127]

It's ok. He is starting to feel sexual urges ( I know you don't want to hear that!) and he felt him self drawn to the panties even though I'm sure he doesn't even know why. Its embarassing to talk to your mom about being horney at any age. You should definitely have him talk with a man about it. Don't make him feel shameful. He probably doesn't yet understand the boundaries between the fact that they are his sisters, right now he just sees them as GIRLS with different parts then him. I think you handled it good though. Just be prepared for privacy and closed doors in the near future - the average boy gets his first erection somewhere around age 8. Some sooner, some later. So even though he might not quite know what to do with it yet, the time will come real soon when he instinctually figures it out.

Becoming sexual aware is a healthy part of adolescence. Be thankful that his attention is on girls and how you handle it from here will determine what type of sexual adult he is.

Let his Dad talk to him about that stuff ( or someother man) until he feels comfortable enough to talk about it with you. Remember all though you are mom he may be seeing you as a girl for the first time in his life too ...

... and just remember to start knocking before you open his door, lest you see something you'd rather not.

And I'd keep a close eye on the sisters panties and the Victoria Secret Catalogue!

- :)

Good Luck and god bless you, you are going through "interesting" times!

[bluecollardad]

when I was growing up my sister who is older than me would take my underwear and wear them. when my mom asked her why she was wearing her brothers underwear she said because they have action figures on them.. to this day I still tease my sis about this.. It is normal for kids to want to check out stuff that members of the other sex have, cause well they don't have it..at the age of six he is doing it because he doesn't want to be left out. he is the only male in the house and is trying to fit in.. have sis play with him, with his toys...

[petesmith123]

I am a 50 yr 0ld hetero sexual male - married. Dated enough - etc. - I am also a crossdresser - though rather quiet and selective about it.

I did the same thing your son did at an early - hid panties, and was ashamed. Thanks to the internet, I have discovered that men wearing panties or having an affinity to womens clothing is much more common than you would think, and that it is too common to be considered abnormal. There is such guilt cast upon this scenario that most men won't admit to it out of fear of humiliation.

The last five years of my life I have been crossdressing more, coming out to select few, and purchasing a decent wardrobe. What I have discovered is that I was trying to get rid of the 'guilt' baggage from my early childhood with regards to having a strong passion towards female panties (yes - at 4 years old).

Your son likes to wear panties - he doesn't know why, he just does. We don't ask why a person likes hamburgers with mustard and ketchup - they just do - and we leave it alone. Same thing is true with this panty thing - he probably can't answer why - he just likes them.


Scolding or any type of humiliation makes things worse - this I know from experience, and from listening and reading about the thousands of others who have had similar experiences.

I would suggest that rather than question him about it, help him to discover his interest WITH BOUNDARIES. Tell him it is OK with you - buy him a pair or two to see if he interacts - that is probably the one thing a boy at this age wants - acceptance of this early panty fetish by mom with no threat of humiliation. I think I wanted a female to know when I was 4, but I didn't want my father to know, so I wouldn't advise that.

Your participation/acceptance doesn't mean you are ruining his life at all. If a son wants to play baseball or piano, you have to participate - but it doesn't mean he won't try or do other things in life. It will allow him to explore this early WITHOUT unnecessary guilt baggage that will ride with him through his life until he can deal with it. And actually, a combination of participation and helping to set BOUNDARIES (i.e. when & where is it deemed appropriate) will probably help him a great deal.

Some things your son is not because he likes panties - he is NOT abnormal, he is NOT gay, he is not destined to be lonely, miserable or unsuccessful as a male!

At four years old, most of his learning has come from imitation at home and role models. But this panty thing at an early age does NOT come from a role model at home - it seems to be innate from within - not learned. So are many other things we do - we just aren't very accepting or understanding of a panty fetish.

Best to you in your dealings - from the sound of your letter, you sound like a wonderful mom!

[MommaC]

Just curious--what if he wears them somewhere besides home and gets made fun of? There was a little boy who attended the school where I worked who seemed to really like his sister's clothes better than his own. One day he showed up wearing one of her shirts. The poor kid was made fun of and disappeared shortly after school started. They finally found him at home (he had walked back by himself--he was six, and it was no small trek). So if a parent accepts the desire to wear other clothing, should the parent caution the child that other people might think it's weird so they should only wear the different clothes at home?

[Justaguy]

I have to agree with the previous poster who mentioned his own history of discreet crossdressing. I did the same thing as a boy and still frequently wear panties to this day (I am 39). I'm a basically normal-appearing and -acting guy who just grew up with this attraction to female clothes, and is now happily married. I never thought of myself as a girl or seriously wanted to be one; I just was a little boy who liked girly clothes, especially underwear--in my case, it was my cousins who probably noticed a pair missing from time to time.

The aspect of this that would bother me most as a parent would not be the fact of a son's crossdressing, given my own history, but his apparent theft from his sisters. This may be the more difficult problem to address--I would have loved for my mother to offer to buy me some panties so I didn't need to take my cousins', but I'd have been so mortified had she asked, that I probably would have refused.

In any case, if he's like me, he's probably going to be doing this off and on for the rest of his life, so the best you can do may be to set boundaries, as a previous poster has said--like no wearing away from home (especially to school), and definitely no stealing. Some people may find hand-me-down underwear less than desirable, so I don't know if that's the way to go...maybe something plain and age-appropriate would be doable? I would have been very content with plain white cotton at about that age...

[james13]

i was lucky i had 2 sisters younger than me we grew up as nudists so i saw my sisters changes and was always curios and wore there panties lots of times and always thought about them when wearing them my mom caught me one day but said it was normal but if i needed to ask anything to ask her she was very open about things so do not worry let him see them nude if he wants